I think we're healing. I just don't know. Back story: I found out my husband was cheating on me. He came clean one night months ago. Obviously since then there has been arguments, lost trust and a rather icky breakdown in our relationship. At first he tried to push part of the blame on me- insert furious wife. Then he kept telling me he was sorry-insert wanting to smack him upside the head. I've had a flurry of emotions. I cannot trust him, but I hope I can one day.i love him. I think I do. Where do we go from here? I'm unsure if I'll ever trust him again because I'm paranoid now about all his little moves. Is he sneaking off to meet her? Is he really going to the supermarket? How can I move past this????
Building trust does take time. I encourage you to read Michele Weiner-Davis' book The Divorce Remedy. In chapter 10, she says most marriages do survive infidelity. The best way to move past this issue is to consult a Divorce Busting Coach. Call me at 303-444-7004 to learn how our Telephone Coaching can help you regain faith and trust in your husband. And, save your marriage. Take care.
I'm unsure if I'll ever trust him again because I'm paranoid now about all his little moves. Is he sneaking off to meet her? Is he really going to the supermarket? How can I move past this????
Rebuilding trust after an affair can take a long, long time. So be patient with your H and with yourself. Don't expect it to happen overnight. Your H needs to understand that HE needs to do the work to rebuild trust. That means (for a while at least) that he needs to be 100% accountable to you. He needs to let you know where he's going, what he's doing, give you full access to his phone and email, etc. If he's not willing to do that then he's not on board with reconciling. Also don't try to do this on your own, get a DB coaching session if you can, the coaches can really help with situations like yours. And seek out a good solutions-based local MC. Good luck!
Is it wrong to think I need space? I just cannot stand the thought of being in the same room as him. I want to run away to clear my head otherwise things may get extremely messy and huge fights could occur.
