When you play football you always look forward to the bye week so you can rest and let those bumps and bruises heal. Unfortunately, with mlc you have to keep playing through the pain. And, why not? The trophy we're playing for is so much nicer than the Lombardi.
I can't wait to hold the trophy at the end (are you feeling me FY lol). Bust on my friends. Bust on!
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I want to apologize to all of you for not giving you the encouragement and advice like you always do for me. I don't know why you do, but I'm grateful. I have all of you in my prayers.
No apology necessary. We are all in a different place. I sometimes feel guilty when I read the situations many here are in and compare it to mine. We all are doing the best we can.
Mtn, I want you to know that I love the sense of humor I'm reading in your posts. This is a sign of strength. A sign that you will persevere. You will make it through this tough period and be better for it my friend. Bust On!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Maybe some of you can help me understand what my boys are going through. They are cool, calm, relatively normal when it's the three of us, but go into weird mode as soon as W comes around. You know how young guys start acting when you bring a young lady into the mix? It's the exact same dynamic. Goofing off, laughing, doing things to get attention, etc. This is their mother though. I can't grasp the reasoning behind it.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
It is quite simple...they need her attention. In their eyes she didn't just leave you, she left them as well.
It doesn't matter the age, it is devastating no matter what the age. I was in 7th grade when my parents separated, a Senior when finally they divorced. I still feel as if he left me.
I was the last at home out of three kids. It was years of misery. I hope for you and your sons it will be a special time between them and you!
Bust on!
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
I see. That makes sense. In some way they are trying to win her back in the only way they know how to "attract" girls. Thanks for explaining it to me. I suppose I should sit back and let them be, only stepping in if it gets out of hand.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
W is looking for a new new place to stay. She has decided to room with another lady to save money. The other lady is highly educated but widely considered to be trash. Multiple affairs over the last ten years. A truly immoral person. It will be shocking to people in our town and help confirm W isn't the same person. I hate it for her but there's nothing I can do to stop it. W and I talk about like friends. It's as if she expects me to be excited for her. I'm doing a nice job faking it.
The boys seem to be doing ok. S9 acts normal, S6 is stewing just below the surface. He refuses to stay at Ws apt and initially refused to even go in the other day.
I'm still sick about all this. Praying and hoping it doesn't happen but expecting it will. I thought it would be easier as time passed, but I feel the same pain I felt in the beginning.
Can anyone tell me when I'll get 8 hours of sleep again? Lol.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I feel like I consented to all of my H's decisions b/c they were what he felt he needed to do right then. I don't remember being excited about any of the decisions that were poor choices.
I did validate that he needed space/time, etc. It can be a fine line between acknowledging some needs that the spouse has that jeopardize your family R's and being sarcastic like, you made your bed now lie in it.
There were many carefully placed truth darts I gave to H along the way that I thought he ignored, but they had to wait till the ripening of the crisis to be effective.
I'm so sorry that this part of the sitch is so painful still. It could end up with positive results as your W may see something clearly that she doesn't want to be. I know she is still that lovely lady you married, deep inside, just buried under grief and confusion right now.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Can anyone tell me when I'll get 8 hours of sleep again? Lol.
You mean we are supposed to sleep? I thought it was part of MLC for LBS's. You veeel NOT sleep you veeel be in constant state of tuuhbulence! NO SOUP VOR YOU!
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Thanks FY, rH, and Ambivalent. W was sick again yesterday and didn't go to work. Miraculous recovery by the end of the day.
She appears to be headed for a job change of her choosing. A little extra pay that will be countered by the gas for the extra travel to work and she would no longer be available to take the boys or pick up the boys at school.
She no longer considers any long term consequences. I hope I can lead her to these answers without pushing.
The fight continues. Not giving up.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
