Had a great day with the kiddos today. S didn't get home until 1:00 last night from working the haunted house. We all had to get up bright and early for church and then off to the apple orchard/pumpkin farm. When I pulled up I about turned around and went back home!! The line to get into the place was huge and the parking lot was just about full. That's what happens on a beautiful fall day though. It feels like we stood in line more than anything else. But we went apple picking, grabbed pumpkins on the hayride, and ate cider donuts and apple cider. Then S wanted to go to youth group so I dropped him off there. D and I made pizza, she painted her pumpkin and spray painted her baby pumpkin with glow in the dark paint. I need a few more coats on it. There just aren't enough hours in the day.
I saw an old neighbor at church today. She asked me how H was doing. I told her what was going on. The first words out of her mouth were "is he going through a midlife crisis? I said I think so. She said her husband had two. I asked her what he did and she said he bought a motorcycle and started racing. I remember that and I told her it must be less expensive than a divorce. She said I would not be so sure about that.
So I guess H and OW think they have everyone fooled. They are wrong. And now I am seeing the light.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Ps and the spew H slung at me about OW being "the better person" so not true. So so not true. I just don't see what the heck is so attractive about this woman? I just don't get it. That's what baffles me. Not my problem, but I just don't get it.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, I'm glad you and the kids had a very nice weekend, boy it was a busy one! I'm sure the kids had fun at the pumpkin farm. I always love doing things like that. The fresh air, excitement of finding just the right pumpkin and the hayrides are the best. Good old fashion entertainment.
God has a way of putting people in our paths to help us see things. For example, the lady from your church spoke to you and identified your h's issue to the "T". There are more people going through the mlc than you think and as you walk the path, the doors will open and God will ensure that you speak to more who have gone before you that have experienced mlc. This will help to open your eyes more and make you even more wiser.
As for what your h sees in the ow, well...it's something "new" to him. She's the exact opposite of you, so that's "new" to him. She's got health issues, he wants to rescue her. She may boosting his ego and telling him things that she knows he wants to hear. Also, the affair is new and exciting because there are no responsibilities associate w/it just yet. They are both on good behavior right now, but when the divorce goes through and they are together 24/7, those nice little goody masks will begin to crumble after a while and the real people will emerge. Now, that's when the fun will begin to fade.
No, she is not the better person here...but in his mlcing eyes, he thinks she is. Anyone that is having an affair w/someone else is not the better person in my books.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
As for what your h sees in the ow, well...it's something "new" to him. She's the exact opposite of you, so that's "new" to him. She's got health issues, he wants to rescue her. She may boosting his ego and telling him things that she knows he wants to hear. Also, the affair is new and exciting because there are no responsibilities associate w/it just yet. They are both on good behavior right now, but when the divorce goes through and they are together 24/7, those nice little goody masks will begin to crumble after a while and the real people will emerge. Now, that's when the fun will begin to fade.
No, she is not the better person here...but in his mlcing eyes, he thinks she is. Anyone that is having an affair w/someone else is not the better person in my books.
Hang in there.
wh, I have to say I feel the same way about my H's OW. She is not very pretty at all, which surprised me but she is giving my H what he needs right now. Respect, no responsibilities (and rainbows and unicorns! lol), making him feel needed and temporary happiness. She is not the better person because she is assisting in ruining someone else's family and has no concern about that. That is not a good person. Look at it this way, she has a low moral center to feel that it is ok to be with a married man and be ok with it!
I love what job posted up there because it is so true. I am putting that in my things to read journal and will read it over and over when things are tough.
You are doing great at getting out, being with your kids and enjoying those moments that go too quickly.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Thanks all. I know she's not the better person but something must have really snapped in his head for him to think she is better than me. But that's not my problem.
My SIL has been texting up a storm. She is so angry H brought OW and showed her off to the soccer team. I said I didn't know what he thought he was showing off because she isn't anything to show off. No one thought much of her. No one is going to think she's better. The kids sure as heck don't think she's better than me. At all. I guess my other SIL is giving him an earful too. Apparently H and OW are attached at the hip. It reminds me of teenagers who are so "in love" and can't go anywhere or do anything without being with the other person. It's pathetic.
So now H's work has initiated a policy that any spouses who work and are eligible for healthcare benefits through their workplace will not be eligible to be on H's healthcare plan. So I forwarded the email to my HR department and I cannot get on my work's healthcare since we don't have open enrollment. I need to become officially divorced to make that happen. So if his company refuses to let me continue on their plan I have no healthcare. I am choosing not to become upset at this point, but it does concern me. I am sure things will work out for the best, but I am not losing my head about it.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
If you are not eligible until open enrollment, then you are not elgible for insurance at your workplace at this moment, correct? Then his should still cover you. Talk to HR at his work. When IS open enrollment at your job? Usually it's around this time.
Open enrollment is only with new employees or in the face of a qualifying event LIKE DIVORCE. But I cannot qualify until the divorce is final. And there is no date on the docket.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
