Hi everyone! First let me say I have missed you all so much! My computer crashed and then H decided not to pay our phone/Internet bill. But thanks to my wonderful daughter and her friend they gave me a new to me laptop that they fixed up just for me. And bless my Dad's heart he paid our bill for us. I indeed do have some blessings in my life.
Where to start on getting caught up. H is in a very bad tailspin/nosedive. H is extremely depressed. H just keeps saying how " messed up" his life is. I say nothing. H has been very mean and saying awful things to me about he and JW. But then the next day can be almost human. It's like he is 2 separate people. I am distancing as much as I can.
Our financial situation is completely in the toilet. I found out that H as been using those scary check cashing places. H has pulled us down so far money wise I don't think we will ever recover. I am so terrified that we will lose our home over his stupidity.
I am not sure where I stand right now. Things are just so out of control all the time. It seems like our whole lives have been in chaos for so long. But a few times in the last 2 weeks I have seen this tiny part of my old H. But then it's like H realizes it and goes right back into monster mode.
I will need to get caught up with everyone's sitch. I am so glad to be back . You all have been my support and I have missed you all. I have adopted you all in my heart! Take care and have a good night.
Hi ladies. Thanks for stopping in. Yes I have talked to a lawyer. Several in fact. It is going to cost soooo much money but they also said I can go after H to make him pay my legal fees. But I have no money right now for a retainer and H has no money to be able to pay all that they lawyers say I would be entitled too. And none of them want to wait and get paid after it is all settled. They say it could go on for 3 years as it will be complicated.
I am so muddled in all my thoughts. And I feel so stupid because part of me still wants to stand for my marriage. A big part of me. But after all H has done and the maniac JW has done why do I feel like this....I want to hate him so bad....and sometimes I do.
Financially I am just scared to death. I need to try and shut my mind off for tonight and make myself try and sleep. I hope you all have a peaceful night. Take care.
Hi Limbo, welcome back. I don’t know how to advice you about the layers. All I know that you need to separate your finances somehow, so you are not responsible for his debt. I’m glad you are able to get online, maybe you will get some good advice here.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Hi Bright! Thanks for stopping in. How are things going with you? The legal part of things just seems to add to my confusion...and then I get mad at him all over for putting me in this position. H really is making me crazy.
H stopped over last night to work on his car. Then he came looking for me and asked if there was anything that needed done while he was there. I said no. Then h went to clean up in the bathroom. I was putting laundry away and walked into the bedroom. H was just standing there in the middle of the room looking very lost I think is the word I want. Very odd...then he looked at me and asked if I would like to go get a bite to eat.
He is a different person from day to day. I never know who I will be dealing with. At one point this week he was trying to talk to me about how much of a liar JW is! Are you kidding me?? Then you two are like peas in a pod because so are you mister....I very politely told him that was his problem that I would not discuss her. Period.
One day at a time. Sometimes even one hour at a time. Thanks so much for listening to me. I appreciate each and every one of you!
I am sorry things are so crazy and your H is so lost. I admire you for still wanting to stand for your M, I also hope you find a lawyer to help you in the meantime.
Were any of the lawyers women? I only ask because when my D was little, her dad took to me to court over custody repeatedly, for different issues and we spent almost 5 years going. I had a female attorney who knew my situation (broke!) and after she took a $1000.00 retainer, she never charged me again. I know most won't be that nice, however, if you keep looking, you may find one who is compassionate and willing to give you some kind of break. Also, we have a place in our state called We The People, and you can get almost any legal form you need and get help filing them but it is fairly inexpensive. I'm not sure if the people who run it are actually lawyers but they know what they are talking about and they help you for a small fee. Do you have anything like that?
It sounds like this may get a lot worse before it gets better and you really may be in danger of losing your home if you don't find a lawyer fast.
I'll be praying for you
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
lovethehub~~thanks so much for the prayers. I really need them so much. H and I got into a huge argument yesterday and I really thought at one point H was going to try and hit me he was so enraged. Our son was standing beside me and this look came over H face as he was screaming at me and our son stepped in front of me. Son told him it was time for H to go because he was out of control.
The whole thing started because H has been very depressed and I asked him if he was feeling any better and he said you really want to know why? I didn't have a chance to answer before he tore into me. H is so tired of people being "so negative" about this relationship with JW..Did you really just say that to me...you know...your wife.
He then continued on that I was the worst one....he was completely serious. He went on for quite a while telling me all the people who were telling him she was just using him and she was really bad. When he was finished yelling I very calmly said well putting how I feel about the situation totally aside, what if these people are trying to get you to see how she really is?? That is when he went off like a crazy man.
Now the day before H was over helping me trim bushes. I am at my wits end. He is a different person every single day. I truly don't know what to do right now. I have yet to tell him everything the lawyer told me because he will go more crazy. I can honestly say though in the last week I have seen tiny glimpses of my old H.
Our 29th wedding anniversary is this month and just the thought of it makes me want to cry. I have been GALing like a crazy woman. Off to try and get some sleep. After all...tomorrow is another day. Have a peaceful night all.
I am sorry all of you are going through this; that must have been really hard for your son to have to listen to that and watch his dad acting that way while dad was ranting about his gf to his mom. I love that he stood up for you and told dad to take a hike.
I have no advice, just support and more prayers.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
