Blindsided Part 2

[Mimi00]

Glad you two had a great trip!

[chl0901]

Thanks, CP and Mimi!

H is currently pretty obsessed with me. The attention is really nice, but I'm aware this could only be temporary. He sometimes makes little comments or acts like he is worried I am going to leave him at some point (I've given him no reason to think that...).

I've been getting tons of comments/compliments lately about my weight loss, so it must be really noticeable now (the past couple of months I got them here and there, but now it's daily!). I'm about 30 lbs lighter than this time last year and have gained a little bit of muscle and strength, too. I still have about 20 more lbs to go to get to around where I would like to be, but I do look and feel better than I have in at least 3 years, so that is something.

We have our vacation at the end of next week so I am excited about that. Hoping things continue in this positive way!

[Mimi00]

lol at "obsessed".

Congrats on being 30lbs lighter and feeling good! I need to hop on whatever work out plan you're on. Unfortunately I've probably gained 5-10 lbs in the last month...so I need to lose about 20.

Enjoy your vacation; prayers and positivity being sent your way for nothing but the best!

[chl0901]

Thanks, Mimi!

My "big" secret is eating better/less and exercising...nothing crazy or anything I didn't know, but finally going and doing it and sticking with it has been working! I've hit somewhat of a plateau the past few weeks, so I think I'll need to step up my game a bit - luckily, it should start cooling off down here sometime soon, so I can take S on walks around the neighborhood which we both enjoy and will hopefully help.

Things with H have still been good overall. However, on Saturday afternoon he got weird and told me he was afraid I was going to leave him in the future and he doesn't know what he would do if that happened so he is scared to continue to give me 110% and get too attached to me. I told him we both need to give it 110% and keep working on our communication (among many other things), etc. etc. and we will grow stronger and there wouldn't be the possibility of me leaving. I do not know how to make him believe me on that. He doesn't have any reason to think I would except for the fact that we would break up/get back together when we were younger, but that hasn't been an issue (on my side at least!) in 5 years (before we were even engaged). So I know he has that stuck in the back of his mind, which doesn't help.

I did have a girls' night this past Saturday, which was refreshing and fun! And H and I are leaving for our vacation this Friday so I am very excited about that to say the least. Also, I had a job interview on Friday morning in the field I would like to get back into - the company may not be my dream one to work for, but it would be more money and get my foot back into the door for the profession I would like. I'm hoping I get the job and can get a few more years experience in that field and then move up (possibly with another company). It's between me and four other people and I am supposed to hear back yay/nay the day after we get back from vacation so wish me luck! No one else has even called from all of the resumes I sent out earlier this month so I really hope they offer me the job.

I hope everyone has a great week!

[Mimi00]

Hope the result of your interview was positive!
I can't recall but is your H open to going to MC at some point?
If not do you think he'd be open to a program like Retrouvaille?
As you know, I am no vet (lol), but I think his trust issues need to be discussed to get to the root of it and kill it. I am sure at some point you'll want to discuss your needs and how his leaving changed things for you as well.

Hope everything is still going great in your world though!
Have a wonderful week

[chl0901]

I'm back! Our long-awaited vacation got cancelled due to weather but we made the best of it and got away for a few days and I took the rest of the week off work and did lots of fun stuff with S.

I'm seeing more and more how H is insecure and that stems into him not trusting me, even though he has no reason for not trusting me in the first place. I think we will need to do some sort of counseling at some point, but I'm also afraid it may do more harm than good.

We have been doing pretty well overall lately, but he will get weird every once in awhile and then start questioning me about things from years ago that we'd already hashed out, etc. During one of these conversations, I called him out on deleting his "friend's" (OW) text messages and he said they were "private," but she is just a longtime friend. I said I wouldn't have a problem with the friendship if he didn't keep it secret and he pretty much had nothing to say, but said he would stop deleting their text messages so who knows. I haven't checked since that night, but he did show me the ones from that day.

PS - I went on a second interview today for the job that I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago; I should hear something back by the end of this week!

I hope everyone has a good week!

[Mimi00]

Sorry your trip got cancelled...glad you still made the best of the time.
Next time your H accuses you, maybe you can respond "H, when you say ______________ , it makes me feel like you don't trust me and that really hurts my feelings." and see how he responds.

As far as counsuling....maybe in time you can find someone you can go to your own for a few weeks, who is solution-based, and let them know your goals....once you're comfortable with them/feel they are the right match, you can ask H to join.

Its really interesting that he seems to not trust you, maybe its his own guilt that makes him paranoid?

Keep up the great progress, enjoy your week!

[Mimi00]

Just checking on you.... hope all is well!

[Mimi00]

I feel like I'm stalking you... lol
Hope everything is going well for you all!