Purchase a non-mushy card. Do not send flowers or purchase anything else.
I think LoisB hit it on the nailhead...purchase the flowers, candy and a trip to Hawaii for yourself!
My DB coach thought maybe I should send her 10 flowers one for each year and just a non mushy card saying "Thinking of you today, Michael. Since my inlaws are staying with us she thinks my wife will be inclined to be nicer - but I don't know. I am still thinking about what to do we have been getting along better and laughing together - it seems redoing the kitchen is making her very happy.
More scared not to do anything it is 10 years not to acknowledge it seems scary - you know wives and anniversaries. We usually alternate anniversary planning and this year is my year - I hate that this had to come up now when things seem to be calmer - uggg - growing up is hard at any age I guess
Sunny
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
I like the ten flowers thing ... maybe in a color other than red?
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
If your DB coach suggested it, then I would go with that, if YOU are good with it. It isn't going overboard pursuing, imo, just make sure any card isn't too mushy maybe?
At the end of the day, we have to do what is right for us, since their reaction is THEIR responsibility, so don't stress over it too much...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
If you opt to send her flowers, may I suggest carnations? Generally roses = romance.
Good luck.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
If you opt to send her flowers, may I suggest carnations? Generally roses = romance.
Good luck.
My pride is hurt and telling me not to - I don't know I will sleep on it and let you guys no tomorrow - Carnations are a great idea that's what I was planning on
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Sunny, Sleep on it...you know the old saying "when in doubt, do nothing". Whatever you decide to do will be fine...try not to worry too much about it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sunny, Sleep on it...you know the old saying "when in doubt, do nothing". Whatever you decide to do will be fine...try not to worry too much about it.
Thanks Snodderly - I will but I have really done nothing for so long doesn't seem to make a difference either way so maybe you are right !!
quote=hrm134] Hey Sunny might I suggest not only sleeping on it, but praying about it. When in doubt ask God to lead you! [/quote]
I will pray I know I am tired of being afraid to try anything
She made plans to go out with her girlfriend on Friday night - I picked up the phone in the middle of the conversation to make a call of my own just to hear her friend say " is he ever going to leave" she said - "I don't know" When she got off the phone - she asked if I had plans I said "what is the date" to try and remind her - she said it's the 30th so she was aware. Her parents are here so I said well your parents are here they can watch him - she said yes I asked them
So this would have set me off so bad in Sept but to be honest I wasn't happy but I got over it fast.
We went out to dinner with her parents and my son tonight. One change I see in her is she is giggling and laughing at me and things I say - this is huge - I know no expectations but she is looking at me from across the table and room and smiling - but then she makes plans for Friday
I am gonna send flowers to her -- I really want to it's our 10th anniversary - we are still married and we are having a great time putting in this new kitchen - what the hell do I have to lose at this point - but I am still sleeping on it LOL
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
I think the flowers are a good idea. You have nothing to lose and you will feel better knowing you acknowledged what your marriage means to you. Live your life in a way you won't regret in the future. You'll always know you gave her flowers because you care.
Thank you T2, Snod, hrm, reaching and TJP - for all your help -
Snodderly I am never sure about anything anymore - I have been praying like crazy and I told God weeks ago in prayer that when I can't make up my mind about things please guide my therapist - she thinks the flowers are a good idea - not acknowledging a milestone anniversary may get me into more hot water even though she is acting single. I haven't purchased or sent a card, note, said I love you or anything romantic since March so sending this is actually kinda a 180. For the 1st 10 years we were together - I used to buy her flowers every month but of course I slacked off on that -- I have decided to sent them -- let's see how the MLC spins this time LOL
Sunny
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
