Denver: I was hoping you would chime in, we did have a little more interaction tonight. I knew I would see her tonight at church and didnt know if she would have buyers remorse or what but we had a nice easy interaction, just a little chit chat and niceties, but when we were parting in the parking lot we hugged and i simply said to her that i really enjoyed talking to her the other night.....and...wait for it....she said me too and smiled.
LOL holy crap you talk about being on cloud nine...I couldnt feel better right now, but im going to continue along the same path of working on myself, smiling, being nice and keeping things light until she wants to talk about more.
That's very, very good Carnac. Please though, proceed with caution. It is VERY common for there to be a pull back when things seem to moving in the right direction. I had plenty of people tell me this and I said 'okay' and kind of shrugged it off. When it happened, I wasn't prepared. It hurts like a b!tch. It's like having the bomb dropped all over again.
Otherwise, keep doing what you are doing!!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
So glad to ear about that Carnac. it seems like our sitches follow one another. That talk you had sounds a lot like the one had with W 10 days ago, and we have been getting closer since. It's still not easy because now, I feel like whatever detachment I had is down that drain and I feel the highs and lows so much more than I used to. I'm trying to distance myself a bit right now because at the end of the day, it hurts even more when she gets in the car and leaves.
Keep with it Carnac. These are little steps which might take you where you want to be.
Cheer mate.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Arsene....glad your sitch is still moving forward..keep working on you and it will all work out in the end.
Denver: thanks for the advice...I know it will hurt b/c i've been there but I really expected buyers remorse today....i was pleasantly surprised that she appeared to have none but i also know it can show up at any time. I'll see her again tomorrow b/c of our sons parent teacher conference tomorrow night but luckily shouldnt have an opportunity to see her on Friday at all....im actually glad about that because I want it to 'stew' with her a bit so to speak.
Its pretty tough to know that you have to move ever so slowly or you'll scare the crap out of them....while at the same time trying to capatilize on a little momentum while its there. Lucky for me I can be much more authentic now with everything so hopefully thats attractive to her and i won't have to 'try' so to speak.
Carnac: Haven't commented on your thread for a WHILE, but I've been following along. It certainly seems like you're making some great progress in the sitch, and I'm glad that you're trying your hardest to move slowly.
Not to nit-pick, but remember you're moving slowly just as much for YOU as you are for W.
Not having to "try" is fantastic, and that's surely thanks to the hard work you're putting in.
Thanks MrsD: We'll see what comes of everything...for now im simply going to enjoy the fact that we had a couple of good interactions.....really working hard on NO EXPECTATIONS, I have to remember she can 'smell' that. LOL
We have a lot of similarities, I am soooooo happy for you brother. I would be lying if I didn’t feel our heavenly father plays a part in all of this. I know you and your W are believers. I feel your joy and I know your following Denver’s guidance and you can't get much better then that! I know we don't doubt his advice one bit. Sh!t, he helps me write touchy feely stuff to my W. As he’s told me, tread lightly, go slow and with deliberation. As you know, things are very fragile right now. Great work my friend, you and your wife deserve to be happy, happy as a FAMILY. I truly commend you for everything your doing. Your standing tall, standing for your convictions, good for you. God bless.
Rough: Thanks for the kind words, and God played a bigger role in this than anything else. Not only in touching her heart, but in the strength that i've been given to work on changing myself for the better. Im still a work in progress, but im able to smile much more now.
Had a parent teacher conference with my wife and son last night...went pretty well, she and I didnt really interact much, I was expecting some pull back and I think I saw some. Not really sure if I saw it because I was looking for it or because it was really there, thats where i've still got so much work to do, I truly believe that if you think you can or you think you can't your right. I also believe that if im looking for or expecting a negative interaction im more likely to get one, I dont know if its my body language or something else but its all the more reason to make sure im positive about things.
I will say that my son's teachers and I had lots of good interaction with her sitting there so thats a good thing I think. I am changing and have changed how I interact with others in general and I was glad for her to be able to see that so it will give her something to think about. Might just lead her to believe that its not just for show but who really knows.
Other than with the teachers there and a little chit chat walking in and out she and I didnt really say much.....of course im looking at that as a negative but its not...i've really got to remember that it doesn't have to be positive or negative, sometimes it can just be.
Whatever, time to make sure im focusing on me and my son...its Friday, its going to be a gorgeous weekend here and im going to have a smile on my face and try to find something fun for us to do.
Oh I am sooooo happy for you!!! Carnac!!! (: