So church was good for me today, with a great message. Of course, by the end of the pastors prayer, I was in tears. Everything about that hour and 15 minutes touched every aspect of what I am going through now.
After church, my GF and I went for lunch then walked around the mall to waste time, then stopped at the gym to pick up a roller for her back. Shes training to compete in a body building competition in November, and pulled something in her back. After that stop she brought me home where I am now watching football. I loved watching football with H, and really miss the conversations we would have. Speaking of H. Haven't spoke to him all day. Im sure he will be bringing our son home soon. Miss that little bugger.
I seem more confident today. Much better than I did yesterday. And to be honest I'm not sure why I was feeling so low yesterday. Maybe cause H and our son were doing things I wish I were included in? Idk. Maybe church helped my confidence today?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Its Monday, and of course I have a question for all. Just because it was something I had read, and wondered if there was any truth to it.
When H said that he wasnt sure if he could trust me - he's actually thinking about the issue of trust, right? Trust isnt an issue for a man that has decided that no matter what, he isnt coming back. Right?
So it is possible that through my journey - there could be still a chance for us in the future? Yes?? Thoughts?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
MrsD, certainly church helped, but its interesting to hear you say that your H and S are doing things you wanna be a part of, hopefully mine is feeling like she's missing out as well.
On your question for Monday, there is always a chance. In my mind no matter what happens until they remarry you have a chance if your willing to work on yourself and become a better person.
MrsD, certainly church helped, but its interesting to hear you say that your H and S are doing things you wanna be a part of, hopefully mine is feeling like she's missing out as well.
On your question for Monday, there is always a chance. In my mind no matter what happens until they remarry you have a chance if your willing to work on yourself and become a better person.
Love that Carnac and so true! Thank you for the small step in my walk this morning.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Carnac - I was actually pleasantly surprised that they had such a busy weekend. And yes, I felt left out, and was hoping that not only our son was missing me, but the other was as well.
I still seem to be somewhat confident again today. Just little things from the weekend have given me some hope towards the future. Day two of no contact. I know. I know. Seems like I continually start over with the count of NC doesnt it? But I do believe I am getting better..
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Good for you, take the alchoholics anonymous approach to no contact, you dont have to make it forever, you simply decide that you'll make it through today. It always seemed a bit simplistic to me, but I had been chewing tobacco for over 25 years when I decided to quit and I just woke up each morning and decided no matter how hard it got I could make it through today.
Glad your still confident, and glad your on day two because it means you made it yesterday, be proud of that. Im not sure what day i'd be on if you don't count text/conversations about our son b/c we really still don't speak othewise but I know that right now im still laying the groundwork.
Keep moving forward and build a really strong foundation for yourself....meaning your changes have not only had enough time to be seen by others (including your spouse), but also that they have had time to 'stick'. It takes time to change our ways and even though we feel awesome about our changes right now, you have to do it long enough that in the heat of any moment the 'old' ways won't take over.
Thanks Carnac for the motivation. And NC has been broke. BUT, it was only because I received a company wide shout out I guess during one of our meetings for work that I have done with my job. I was proud, and wanted to share - and of course like everytime in the past, I automatically sent my H a text of my accomplishment. Although, the start of the text probably wasnt as upbeat as it should have been - started it with "I know my career probably doesnt mean much to you anymore, but blah blah blah. He came back "now that isnt fair. Ive always wanted you to do well and you always have. Congratulations". I sent back that I knew that. Just wasnt sure if that all mattered anymore. Any whoo - Thanks. End of conversation.
OH CARNAC!! I sent it to him because he is still my best friend. Even though we arent really anymore. He still is the first one I reach out to with accomplishments. Darn it anyway...
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
MrsD: You gotta remember if he still gets all of those little things from you that a mature relationship has and gets affection/sex elsewhere he's never gonna miss your or want you back because he can't miss whats never been gone.
I dont wanna be to harsh, but if what he's doing is 'cake-eating' as they say around here, the reason he's doing it is because your catering it to him. And your texts to him keeping him informed are bad for you in a two-fold way. The first part, the woe is me you don't care part was fishing for a compliment at best, and at worse was to make him feel obligated to tell you it wasn't true...its a control thing trust me i've done it. And how badly would you have felt if he had texted you back and said your right I really don't care b/c we are divorced get that through your head? But more importantly how does that project a strong confident woman that he'd want to be with? And secondly the very fact that you share that with him, that you share how much you miss him, how much you wanna work things out etc.....its all added up to his knowing that your gonna be right there whenever he wants you.
Why would he be in any hurry to not date someone else and possibly date you if your gonna be standing there waiting no matter how many bar skanks he runs through?
And trust me I know how hard it is... I've wanted to talk to her numerous times in the last month or so about things that matter. About compliments i've been given, about the things i'm learning about myself in therapy, about my re-election campaign issues, but the fact is that she's not there for me right now and doesn't want to be.
It broke my heart a while back when something great happened and my first thought was I wanna tell Tracy.....and then reality set in and I called another friend of mine and talked about it and it wasn't nearly the same, but I knew thats what had to be done.
MrsD: You gotta remember if he still gets all of those little things from you that a mature relationship has and gets affection/sex elsewhere he's never gonna miss your or want you back because he can't miss whats never been gone.
I dont wanna be to harsh, but if what he's doing is 'cake-eating' as they say around here, the reason he's doing it is because your catering it to him. And your texts to him keeping him informed are bad for you in a two-fold way. The first part, the woe is me you don't care part was fishing for a compliment at best, and at worse was to make him feel obligated to tell you it wasn't true...its a control thing trust me i've done it. And how badly would you have felt if he had texted you back and said your right I really don't care b/c we are divorced get that through your head? But more importantly how does that project a strong confident woman that he'd want to be with? And secondly the very fact that you share that with him, that you share how much you miss him, how much you wanna work things out etc.....its all added up to his knowing that your gonna be right there whenever he wants you.
Why would he be in any hurry to not date someone else and possibly date you if your gonna be standing there waiting no matter how many bar skanks he runs through?
