MrsD: I meant it and really do appreciate that your willing to still stand.....its why i've tried to help where i can and support you. I think its so cool that you've admitted your mistakes and are looking to rebuild something that will inevitably be much better than what you had before because of who you are becoming.
My night was a little better, had to give a speech tonight for my re-election campaign at a public forum and if I do say so myself I killed it. I had quite a few people come up to me afterward to tell me how good my speech was and that it was by far the best of the candidates.
After that I had to go film a commercial, that wasn't nearly as easy as the speech was for some reason, and honestly my part of the commercial was only the last 10 seconds. The first 20 seconds are going to be random shots of me that are already filmed with a female voice over talking about my record....so at the end it's going to switch to a close up of me and I honestly had 3 sentences that I had to say and it must have taken me 25 tries to get them right. I actually got them right one other time at about the 15th try but as soon as I did I looked over at the producer and they needed me to still be looking at the camera for a couple of seconds after the last word.
I have no idea why they didnt just cut it together with some of the others to get a good take, but for some reason the producer was insistant that it would look better if we did the entire sequence in one take...guess they know more than me and I should be glad since im paying them that they want it done right....can't wait to see it.
Anyway those two things together added up to a pretty nerve wracking day and evening that turned into relief and satisfaction after it was all said and done. Hope everyone has a good evening im probably turning in early and going to try to get some sleep and wake up with a smile.
Congrats Carnac!! I bet that made your night anyway! I think I would totally freak out if I had to do a commercial. My face would be all red... Im not much on being the center of attention, unless of course Im singing with a band I know. But that hasnt happened in a long time, and since Im not a bar hopper anymore.. dont see that chance coming anytime soon.
I am in working through this whole thing for the long haul. I know Ive made mistakes, but Im hoping that Ive nipped that. thanks again for your kind words.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
I believe it what we had. And I want it back, but better. I still believe we have a connection that can take us ultimately through anything. Or maybe Im just a fool. Maybe everything that I though we had was fake.
I'm with you on this MrsD. I'm pretty sure that all of us here also feel this way. In fact, in my crummy days, I wish we had been a crap couple, arguing and nagging all the time and having a horrible relationship. This way I could just leave knowing that I can do much better. But no. She's the one, and I'm convinced that I'm the one for her as well. She just forgot for a bit.
Nothing was fake. It was all true but they make it sound like it wasn't, to help them cope with what is happening in their life right now, with the uncertainty and confusion.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Don't worry about their new version of history, its not worth your time. I got a couple of texts this morning from my son before he left for school.....he's so awesome and he texts me using her phone since he doesn't have one. (Im a mean dad, said he couldnt have a phone til his age ended in teen LOL) Anyway, i was just reading over the texts we sent back and forth this morning when I got back to work and really wanted to text her since I know she saw them all and tell her that he's such an awesome loving person and can't we find a way to work this out so we don't destroy his innocence.
I came to my sense's and didnt send her anything...she saw what he and I sent back and forth, she'll have her own thoughts about it and will have to come to it in her own time. Its interesting MrsD you talking about you didnt come to think you wanted him until the divorce was final and he moved on. I was thinking today maybe I shouldn't drag my feet at all, maybe I should agree to it and just continue doing the right things and if she comes back she comes back.....seems like a really scary way to go for me though, because what if she never does? I guess there's the possibility that I could drag my feet and waste alot of my and her money and she still divorces me and never comes back.
Im kind of lost on that right now, and I really have to stop worrying about it....as someone told me a few weeks ago here, I've really got to stop borrowing problems from tomorrow and worry about living today.
Hey Carnac - I dont know if I would recommend doing it the way I guess things fell together, or maybe apart for us. Look at what Im going through now? Even though I know you would still be standing there waiting for her - my ex didnt. And in all honesty, it makes me angry that he didnt, and you would still be there standing hoping she did come back to you after it all was said and done. You know?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Hey Carnac- Thought I would stop by and say hi. I wanted you to know I am on the same page. You talk about no one wanting you, not being any good, worry yourself about “what if” she files, etc…. Don’t get me wrong, I hear you loud and clear. I have those same thoughts. On the bright side, I feel YOU have a fairly clear idea of the appropriate path to take. You’re a sharp man, it’s clearly evident from your posts. You seem to doubt yourself a lot but YOU have a fairly good idea which route to take. It makes sense, you’re probably confused right now, just like a lot of us (and our WAW’s).
Look, there’s another guy on this forum that Mr Bond was trying to give some guidance to. The guy was talking about having his house and 4 cars paid for. MrBond said, that doesn’t matter!!! It wasn’t the kind of love SHE was looking for, those were not the things that met HER needs. It got me thinking about your sitch. I know your proud of working for the same company 20 plus years and I commend you. That kind of stability is rare. I remember you mentioning W didn’t give a rats a!ss. I guess it comes back to my point, how does YOUR W want to be loved? From all the learning we’ve done, I am sure you have a better idea by now. Am I making sense? Do you agree? Talk to you later my friend. God bless.
Its interesting MrsD you talking about you didnt come to think you wanted him until the divorce was final and he moved on. I was thinking today maybe I shouldn't drag my feet at all, maybe I should agree to it and just continue doing the right things and if she comes back she comes back.....seems like a really scary way to go for me though, because what if she never does? I guess there's the possibility that I could drag my feet and waste alot of my and her money and she still divorces me and never comes back.
Im kind of lost on that right now, and I really have to stop worrying about it....as someone told me a few weeks ago here, I've really got to stop borrowing problems from tomorrow and worry about living today.
Oh how we are both in the same mindset and moods today! I feel 100% exactly the way you feel today. Especially after another rough night, but this time it was W's sister lashing out at my daughter & telling her that I have been manipulating the kids etc...Which isn't true of course. I have taken responsibility for my actions & have never candy coated it with the kids. But I have "NOT", I repeat "HAVE NOT" ever said anything harshly about their Mother to them. Including given the current situation of her and OM.
Way too much launched at my D-12 last night, but I will remain vigilent and in no way respond to her family members in this sitch, because nothing good will come of it. Not too mention God & the kids both know the truth on everything & know the mistakes I have made., as well as the whole truth about the current state of the situation & who's behavior is what.
Rough: thanks for the kind words, its good to know im not in this alone. While I don't know everything about the 'how' she wants to be loved, I do know for sure that 'acts of service' are really big in her book. I never thought much of that, but I have learned enough to know that she wants more help from me and also that she wants to be heard. Not necessarily have me talk so much as have me listen.
Apart from that, I really don't wanna guess too much because if there is ever a chance for us to sit and talk about it im simply going to ask her. Im tired of trying to figure out what I 'should' be doing for her by hit and miss, if we ever work through and try to remain married I want her to tell me "I feel loved when........." And maybe its 20 things, but I want to hear them all. I could beat myself up every day for not doing that before, but the fact is I can't change the past but I can make a brighter future.
Suppo: Stay strong my friend, I hate that someone lashed out at your daughter, that would be tough to take for sure. I can take all the attacks they want to throw at me, but im not gonna be cool at all with someone attacking my kid. But I applaud you for taking the high road, in the end you are and will be the bigger person and im again so impressed with the example your setting for your kids as they grow up.
They are seeing a strong Godly man who understands that revenge, retribution etc really have no place and serve no purpose. Stay strong my friend, your in my prayers.
thanks again for your kind words.