Divorced.. #2

[Mrs D]

Carnac,
Starting a new thread. Hopefully Ill remember all you posted.
Sounds like your afternoon was about like mine. I am still surprised he came knowing all of my family and close friends were there. But Im glad he did. He spent alot if time talking with my Dad. Im thankful my niece was there and I was trying to get her to sleep after and during the prizes, you know? I did well all week not contacting him. Still not detaching very well.

On a good note, he called last night to talk to our son. I guess thats something. He hasnt called him tonight.

[Cadet]

First thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2269321&page=1

[Mrs D]

Thanks Cadet. Wasnt sure how to attach.

[Cadet]

Thanks Cadet. Wasnt sure how to attach.

Copy URL and paste, pretty easy to do and it makes it easier to go back and read later on, like if you are re-reading threads that are years old.

Or if you think you are making no progress, re-read your first thread and you will see that you are.

[Mrs D]

So this morning I wake up second guessing my actions from yesterday. Was he trying to reach out more in conversations? Should I have been more friendly than cordial?

My son wants to go to the demolition derby today at our local county fair. Course hes with his Dad today, but that is something he does with me. He made the comment last night that he would like us both to take him. I responded that it was his Dads day and if he didnt want to take our son, that he could call me and I would take him. Wrong answer? He said he was going to ask his Dad if I could go as well. I said to him not to be upset if he said no. Wrong answer again? I just want to be honest with him...

[Carnac]

MrsD: Don't beat yourself up about yesterday. Was he trying to reach out more....maybe,but even if he was he won't give up after one time so you there will be other opportunities and that just gives you more time to improve yourself. As far as today goes I think both of your answers to your son are wonderful answers. Its exactly what I told my son last week about my W going to church.....he wanted to talk to her b/c she hasn't been going and asked me what I thought and I told him that it was fine, but understand that it might be something she's not willing to do right now.

[Mrs D]

Thank you Carnac again. I prayed to God again this morning for patience among other things. So this is like day 6 of me not initiating contact. And I didnt pounce on anything so far this past week. Baby steps.

[Mrs D]

My son called his Dad this morning to ask him about the demo. Course no answer on either lines, but he texts me you called? I told him our son did. He asked what he wanted, and I told him that he wanted to talk to him. He asked what was going on. I sent back that he couldnt just take 5 minutes out of his time to call him back? And that his Gf needed to realize that he has a son and he should come first? He said that hed rather talk to him in person. (I did tell him as well that our son brokedown again last night ... no one likes him, sad be cause he and I arent together). Unbelievable he still will not call him when shes around. But our son comes first. ...

I just text him back that Ill take our son to the demo and Id bring him over later. That we should probably both sit down and talk to our son together. His reply - ok...... this is not the man I married.

[Mrs D]

And so much for not contacting him.... sent this text back to him because I am so irritated at my ExH right now:

In all honesty, H, you are becoming the person I once was. The one you hated. Ill be the one to tell you... freedom isnt everything you think it is. One day you will wake up and realize what it is that you are doing. Hope its not to late when you do.

Im just so frustrated that she continues to come before our son. Even though he says he comes first. I call BS. He should have responded no, Ill take our son to the demo and yes, that's a great idea about sitting down talking to him. NOT OK!!!

[mshaf]

In all honesty, H, you are becoming the person I once was. The one you hated. Ill be the one to tell you... freedom isnt everything you think it is. One day you will wake up and realize what it is that you are doing. Hope its not to late when you do.

Mrs. D,

I have been thinking about this recently also. I see my WAW becoming the things she "couldn't take" in me. I remember in DB it tals about a relationship being like a seesaw. I wonder if when the LBS changes for the better does the WAS feel the need to fill that void?

Maybe people become so used to things working a certain way, when that status quo changes they change for the worse to bring back the chaos they are used to.

Just something I have been thinking about.