i think i would leave out the last question and just say thank you but that's just my opinion. the question, "how are you feeling today", rubs like pursuing to me and i think you're still too vulnerable to her to let down your guard completely.
25 is the expert here so i would follow her advice when she comes in.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Don't get too excited. Your W has the pattern of attacking you, then being nice when she can't get what she wants. DO NOT let her apologies fool you. I don't know how many times everyone's been telling you that.
Tell her that yes, you would like to start your time with your son today and that you will be keeping him extra for lost time. Determine how much time you want and tell her. If she's really remorseful, she'll give it to you. If she doesn't, then you know she's just playing.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Let her feel the reality of her decisions. You shouldn't be running back to support her.
If things would have gone in her favor, do you think she would have cared about you?
That being said, I am happy to hear the outcome.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Thanks all. I'm well and haven't slept this well in a loooong time.
With all that has happened over the past month or so (and what feels like forever), I am currently doing the following:
- Not lose sight of my goals and positive changes - Praying and meditating - Lots of introspecting (which includes a lot more praying and meditating) - Keeping my boundaries strong - Remember how my wife and I got here, including the events DURING our marriage - Making up lost time with our son
I might've left out a few, but the gist is that I am keeping my foot down. I don't want to ignore or lose what I have fought so hard for, i.e. my 180s, my GALs, the court case and my new foundation as a man, person, father, disciple and friend.
With that said, I'm being careful not to go the "ignore/reject my wife for all the BS/evil she's put me through" route. After all, that's exactly the same thing HER family, friends and SHE said about me when she decided to leave the marriage.
Don't forget that I was a crap person and husband for 6 years, and within 1-2 days of her leaving, I made a complete 180. I was repentant, rock bottom, pursuing...sounds familiar?
Two years ago, in that state, I wished that my wife would've dropped her wall just for a second to see how true I was to change, but that didn't happen because she was full of anger, vengeance, resentment, apathy and freedom from me.
I want to remind y'all that as I stated in the first few paragraphs, I'm keeping my boundaries and wariness up, but I want to be able to be compassionate and humble to my wife with the caveat that she TRULY wants to make changes and wants to make this work.
One way I know she's serious is if she chooses to forego her residency for awhile (a year at least) and stay true to what she told me a couple of nights ago, that she'd do anything to keep all three of us together.
The REAL work truly begins, if that happens. Until then, I am staying put.
