Life without him

[2chiquitos]

It's been almost 9mos since DD. I've come a very long way. However I was curious to know how the rest of you deal with these situations without having major setbacks.

Got a call telling me they knew something about OW. I let them know I didn't want to know anything and to keep that info to themselves. --I went into a downward spiral for 2 days.

A friend of a friend blurted that she saw H at a lounge/bar. I rarely see this person so there was no point in telling her I don't want to know this stuff. --this happened last night n I'm still recovering from that.

I am working on detaching. Any suggestions? I would really appreciate.

[chatterbug]

I think you did well there. You tell them that you do not want to know. If people keep telling you. Cut them out of your life.

THen you deal with it by journelling , exercising, cooking, eating icecream or other healthy choices.

And in a few days your O.K.

As time goes by these feelings are less and less and O.K. is more and more.

All part of the grief cycle and Post Traumatic Stress.

Your going through both.

So pick yourself up and carry on.

[2chiquitos]

Thank you chatterbug. I feel a whole lot better today. I noticed that it takes me 2 full days to recover where before it would take me 2 weeks!

I should add that I have learned how to take better care of myself in these situations. I go to an Al Anon mtg! right away and I allow myself to feel the hurt and pain. I practice relaxation and work at focusing my attention my kids.

I don't know where I would be without DR!

[2chiquitos]

I went to an Al Anon mtg this morning. It's been 2mos that I've stopped snooping. And 3mos that I've stopped asking him if he's coming back. I shared this and other ppl told me they still look for the alcohol and scold the alcoholic. They've been in the program longer than me.

I think DR has helped me a lot.
He continues to make plans for a long term separation. No interest in coming back anytime soon. Whenever he brings up this stuff I hope it'll be a while before he brings it up again, but he brings it sooner than I'd hoped.

Once I get to the year, I'm done.
Today he called and I haven't called him back. I just don't want to. What for?