Divorce....with a side of crazy...

[imthemom]

Hi all...
Just a catch up post I guess, not a lot has changed which seems to be par for the course.
Have heard nothing since the court date, he was supose to have paid his arears he owed but has managed to be so confused about that, that is hasnt happened yet. so still waiting on support from him, like I said, nothing has changed.
He has now gone over a month without seeing our S15 and has barely contacted him. He has been working alot of OT and uses that as an excuse. At this point S15 will act as if hes given up and then get really excited and happy when his D throws him a bone and calls him. Its sad to watch...
after the court date I sent him an email telling him that I was willing to put all of this behind us, start over and form a relationship without all of this animosity between us (which is actually just on his side but Im trying to be nonconfrontational here) so we can show our son that the 19 plus yrs we were together meant something and that we are a family no matter what. I was hopeing we could sit down with S15 and talk to him together, somthing we have not done since this whole thing started.
STBXH agreed and then blew it off for a week so I gave up...I feel like Ive done everything I can to try and keep the road to his son open ....nothing more I can do.
I really cannot believe he has turned into this man, @ Barb...I read your post about your new man and think to myself how familiar that sounds. I also have a son who has seriouse disabilities who was 2 when we (STBX) met. I was in no way interested in a relationship because I was so involved in my sons health and everything that went with that..(physical therapy, many surgeries and appts all over creation!!) STBX then became a good friend and would go with me to all the appts. My EX could not handle it and was in complete denial. He left everything to me and I did it alone until I met STBX. He was so loving with my kids and so attentive to me and my needs at that time, I quickly fell for him hard. He loved my kids and was so involved (special olympics, hospital stays..etc..) and understanding. I have alot of memories of him with my son, He taught him how to tie his shoes one handed (hes a hemiplegic, cerebral palsey) WOW I remember that day walking in the house and seeing him doing that with him...and now he hasnt spoken to either one of my older sons in almost a year..now I feel like I cannot trust my own judgment...How did I not see that he would be capable of just setting down the rope and walking away without a single tap on the brakes??
Now I know that no one can love YOUR kids like there own...and really I dont need anybody to do that anymore. Im older, wiser and maybe just a little less trusting, which isnt always bad.
just never expected that the one person in my whole life who I did trust turned out to be the one I shouldnt have trusted.
getting better..progress, not perfection...
thanks for all the concern and support