Putting "Us" first; each of Us Unselfishness Willingness Good and Involved communication Forgiveness (I need to work on my trust factor) Being supportive Teamwork Consideration Affection Equality Admiration Sense of humor Optimism
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
My EMDR is going well. My M is well not so much. The H has left again. He was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure and is very short of breath.
I still feel sadness occasionally, but trying th deal with that based on my IC sessions. Not sure what will happen, but my H and I are seeing a MC. How is everyone else?
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
My EMDR is going well. My M is well not so much. The H has left again. He was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure and is very short of breath.
I still feel sadness occasionally, but trying th deal with that based on my IC sessions. Not sure what will happen, but my H and I are seeing a MC. How is everyone else?
Thanks for the update, MC is good as long as you keep your expectations low. I hope your H is agreeing to go to really work on the marriage and not validate his feelings to leave. This is a very long process. Dig deep for more patience and keep working on YOU.
Thank you. I have been reading posts over the last 2 months, but wasn't sure if I was ready to post again.
I am working on me, still find it difficult sometimes, but I am okay.
That is a real good perception whether my H is going to MC to validate his feelings for a D. I said that last week in our counseling session and he just waved it off. We have another session tomorrow and I think he is trying to figure out if he is going to return home or not. He is saying that he does not want to hurt me, but that he just can't see us together anymore. Oh well.
I can't worry to much about it, so I try to keep busy.
Thanks again.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Hi Destiny! I haven' t been here for quite some time and this morning, logged in just for you.. I am so happy and proud of you for the Actions ( work to heal and better yourself ) you are doing.. YOU ARE DEFINITELY IN THE RIGHT PATH... I was exited to read your post this morning.... Keep it up girl.... You're doing great...
Thank you. I am trying like I said. Just returned from an IC session and was a little sad. I am trying to keep busy and it helps.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Had my MC yesterday afternoon with my H. The counselor was confused because he left home on Sunday and he is saying that he was very happy to leave and that he felt courageous about doing so because he has been considering this since he returned home last year.
However, he didn't realize how difficult it would. He has asked for "alone" time to think. This is what he told the MC. She asked why he left and he just said the same old line - "I am unhappy." I asked him had he ever thought about what would make himself happy. He said NO. And the MC followed up and said if he thought his happiness was solely dependent on how he felt about the marriage. He said yes - he defines himself by our marriage. He feels trapped but that he never really considered his happiness individually. He seemed to ponder a long time. He literally does not do anything on his own...
He has asked for space and time. The MC encouraged eash of us not to engage in dating, sex, or getting involved with anyone during this time. We are planning to get back together in a couple of weeks. He needs time to think. I am not confident that his decision will be any different.
I am going to try to keep busy with my running. I have finished 2 races within the last month and I have one coming up the 1st weekend in June.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
I believe that my STBXW is in the same boat as maybe all our MLCers. I can't speak for anyone else but my sitch in saying that I truely believe that STBXW clearly defined herself in the marriage and felt that she was not good enough when we had scheduling conflicts during the last year and we had a baby to boot. I can totally see that if someone bases their self worth in one basket and circumstances prevents that basket to be the best it can be, well unhappiness occurs.
Unfortunately, STBXW can't or is unwilling to see that even though we had a tough year, we had it TOGETHER, and that the circumstances no matter how hard they were, are temporary.
It was easier to run away from it all, as she has done before. But it'll catch up to her someday.
Hopefully your H will explore his talents/gifts and find happiness honing those skills. When he finds happiness with his true self of self then he will find happiness with others.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
My H is just very sad and I really hope that he comes through the "fog". Iknow how difficult it is to look at just yourself solely separate from your spouse. I never knew I really i had an interest or a passion for anything seriously like running. I run almost everyday and feeling really good about my health, my shape, and me.
I feel very sorry for my H right now. He really thinks by leaving he will be happy, but he does not do anything. He has no friends. He has no interests other than doing things with me and when he has dome things with me, he says he doesn't enjoy them. Go figure!!
I have been more than GALing in the last 3 months.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
I am so happy and proud of you for the Actions ( work to heal and better yourself ) you are doing.. YOU ARE DEFINITELY IN THE RIGHT PATH... I was exited to read your post this morning.... Keep it up girl.... You're doing great...