Hi Rick, I have an undergraduate degree, but I am currently going back to school. I have always worked in the restaurant industry so I am trying to get a part-time job in a restaurant right now.
Antlers thank you for posting. Unfortunately, her dad left her the house when he passed away so it is totally hers.
I don't know I am just really scared and sad.
M:(f) 35 W: 45 3 dogs and 2 cats T: 9 years 9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you OW confirmed 12/23/11
We are actually a same-sex couple so we are not legally married. We moved to California less than a year ago and filed as domestic partners at that time.
M:(f) 35 W: 45 3 dogs and 2 cats T: 9 years 9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you OW confirmed 12/23/11
My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how scary this is for you: not knowing where you're going to live, or make money for yourself.
You know that you have the capability to do all these things, as long as you don't get in your own way. Don't try to solve every problem right now, just make a priority list and check them off as they get done.... if you try to solve new place/job/school at the same time- you will become overwhelmed quickly! (all of this is easy to say, but I do know how hard it is to actually implement.)
If she told you that she wants you to move out so you two can 'date', then that's a positive sign. I realize that she might not mean it, but she said it and if you interact with her under that premise- then maybe she'll start to come around. And if she doesn't- then she will have to get the 'huevos' to tell you the truth.
Please continue to post here and use this as a safe place to vent out all the anger/pain/frustrations you feel.... just don't let her hear any of that. She needs to see an independent, funny, beautiful woman (isn't that who she fell in love with in the first place??) I am the biggest hypocrite in this sense- my H fell in love with a feisty, driven, witty, sexy younger version of myself... fast forward to 9 years later, 2 kids, no job, and no hobbies, body image problems (which led to SSM).... wow, I seem like a real catch. We need to find those early versions of ourselves, hidden behind comfy clothes, insecurities and co-dependance.
I'll try if you will
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I don't know the law in that situation. California is a very liberal state. Normally, even in common law marriage (long term living together), whatever is acquired during that time is considered community property. It'd be worth checking in to.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Hey Sunshine Just getting updated on some sitches. Don't give up hope.We understand your pain- you're not alone. I'm also scared & sad. You are getting some great advice... wish that I had answers. How is your GAL'ing coming along? My kids and Golden Retriever have been a great comfort. I connected with several groups locally... divorce support groups, dog play groups, hiking society, yoga & meditation.... just trying to broaden my horizons,meet new people, grieve, cope & grow as a person. Hang in there & Listen to the old pros. Take care P
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hiking group? (facepalming-why-didn't-I-think-of-that-moment). That's something I'll definitely have to look into - and sounds like a sweet excuse to hit REI where I seem to recall a bulletin board full of that sort of thing - when the weather gets nicer.
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
((( Purg ))) thank you so much for being so supportive. You are absolutely right we lost ourselves somewhere along the way. It is so easy to become complacent! I am making a mental note not to do this in the future.
I am 100% open to trying to re-discover who I am. I don't like this boring, frumpy, co-dependent person that I have become so it is time for change. I have no doubt that we are going to survive this and become strong, happy, independent women. Thanks again
Antlers, I really appreciate you checking in on me and I will definetely look into the law. Thank you very much!
Pers, I have been definetely lacking in the GALing department. I have been going to movies periodically, walk the dogs, hanging out at starbucks... I know it's time to step up my GALing. I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that I am not in this alone. Thank You
M:(f) 35 W: 45 3 dogs and 2 cats T: 9 years 9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you OW confirmed 12/23/11
Give it a try- My GAL ideas have really been helped by meetup.com ....yup I know- sounds like a dating site : ) You plug in some basic info, interests ect & it will show you groups in your area with the same interests ... whether its sailing, board games, meditation, English bulldogs, or as simple as meeting a group of people on a regular basis to drink coffee. I know the sitch sux.... I was counting the days in happy anticipation to come home from Afghanistan... & a month before I leave my W sends a "Dear John" email asking for a D. Seemed pretty heartless at the time...but I understand now why she did it, I forgive her. We can't change others, just ourselves. I'm giving my 180 & DB'ing 100 percent.... My family ( & me) are worth having the best ME possible. We make plenty of mistakes, but don't give up. Take Care- Hang in there P
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
