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Thank you Autumn. I am going to call the mechanic today, but I think he threw it out. When I got into the car and noticed he did not leave the piece in the car my gut instinct was to ask him for it, but I didn't.

I feel absolutely horrible. I guess I will just try to give her space, but it feels like I just put the final nail in the coffin.


M:(f) 35
W: 45
3 dogs and 2 cats
T: 9 years
9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you
OW confirmed 12/23/11
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Well I called the mechanic and he still had the part so I went over and had it put it back on.

I came home and told my W that I was sorry and I know that it does not make up for what I did, but I had the part put back on.

She said it doesn't matter if it is on or not.

Ugh I really screwed up this time.


M:(f) 35
W: 45
3 dogs and 2 cats
T: 9 years
9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you
OW confirmed 12/23/11
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Posts: 153
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Last night when my W said that she wanted me to move out I asked her if there was anything that she will miss about me.

She said, "yes, I will miss growing old with you and knowing that you will always be there."

Is this typical WAW script? I really want to continue living in the house, but I honestly don't know if that is going to push her further away??

I could really use some advice.


M:(f) 35
W: 45
3 dogs and 2 cats
T: 9 years
9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you
OW confirmed 12/23/11
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Okay..... I'm no expert. But what is going to push her away is the pursuit, the not detaching and continuing to do what doesn't work.

What are your 180's?

I have to go out right now, but I am thinking of you!

Aloha,

Wendy


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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I don't think what you did was selfish, you made a mistake, you apologized and then rectified it.

How would you not move out if she has told you she wants you to without putting pressure on her?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
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Sunshine, we all make mistakes... and all we can hope to do is try to make up for them (isn't that why we are all here, trying to make up for mistakes that happened in our Rs?)

I don't think it was selfish, and I applaud you for having the mechanic put it back in the car.

As far as moving out... start gathering information about your own place, but don't rush into anything. Give her some time/space while you create your plan B... maybe she'll calm down and get nervous when she sees you taking steps for moving out and she could 'take it back', but even if she doesn't, you'll have your next steps ready.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I can tell how bad you feel about your mistake.

(((hugs!)))


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12
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Wen, LB, Purg thank you so much for your support!!!

Wen to answer your question I was doing very well with my 180's until I found out she was dating someone and then I lost my damn mind and started pursuing like there was no tomorrow. My 180's were to be upbeat, not talk about R, joke around with her, ask her about work. This was working well, but now I am back at square one.

LB and Purg, thank you for realizing that I was trying to do the right thing, unfortunately she didn't see it that way.

She told me tonight that she wants me to move out so that we can date and not be up each other's a$$'s. So I think my best option at this point is to find some place else to live. I don't really think that she wants to date me I think she is using that to lure me out of the house, but whatever.

Maybe it will be better for me to be seperated from her because I really cannot detach while we are living under the same roof and I can't stand listening to her muffled voice when she is speaking to the OW.

She could care less that I haven't found a job yet, we have lived in California for less than a year so I don't know the area and I don't really know anyone here.

I don't even know who my W is anymore. I love her, but I don't like her at all right now.

Again, I can't thank you guys enough for your support. I think I would be lost without all of you.


M:(f) 35
W: 45
3 dogs and 2 cats
T: 9 years
9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you
OW confirmed 12/23/11
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(((sunshine))) I am sorry W is being so cruel. They are. capable of anything. Take care of yourself. Make sure u look good at all times. What are your GAL?

Have u thought of going back to school for a degree. U are young and get to meet new peoPle there. Hang in there


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Who owns the house?
If she wants to end things...then let her move out of the house!
If you have as much right to be there as her, then don't you move out!


"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
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I agree with antlers.

You really have to GAL and detach. You can't let what she does eat at you like this. If you can show her you are a strong independent sexy woman, then and only then she would consider that she made a mistake.

Don't just act the part, look the part!

If she wants to separate so she can date you, its a good idea, if she wants to separate to date other people, its a bad idea.


M 33
W 29
S 4
M 5
T 7
11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents
12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over"
1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
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