I've done that, started back in July and read just about every thread. If you've read much of what I've already posted I've already 180'd as much as is possible. I've been in IC,I'm out at least five days a week at local events, joined two Arts Associations and the Local Theater Guild, cycle/row for cardio everyday and hit the gym four to five days a week, with yoga/meditation classes once a week.
My point with the link I tried to post was it was for a forum of recovering MLC'ers and WAW's. It gave an insight into how the affairs started, what the mindset was while in the A, and what it was like when the fog lifted. Instead of marching blindly into guessing what was going on it actually laid out the perspective of the wayward spouse. It's helped me enormously with my questions regard my own sitch.
Pretty much the consensus is it's not always about us dumpee's, the "speech" and historical rewrite we all get is a rationalization to give themselves permission to cheat. It's about being very unhappy in themselves and their lives. The honeymoon is over and reality long term gets to be too much. The OW/OM just being an escape that does not ask much of them, in most cases the OW/OM is as some here have figured out, a "trade Down",being not as attractive or even as good sex partner as the LBS was.
My own theory on this is whatever stress they are under at some point hits that primitive "Fight/ Flight" switch and sends them running for "safety" , whatever is available at the time is it.
