I'm moving the bboom show over here now to the slightly more quiet and serene backwaters of the DB forum. I've bumped around on the Newcomers forum for 6 months and it's time to slow it down a bit.
WOW! It's hard to believe I'm up to 267 posts. I just re-read some of my early stuff, and boy was I a clueless putz!
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
Welcome to the separated forum, bb... been waiting for you...
U're practically a newb at 267 posts... lol
So now that you're in this phase of your sitch... the... "ok... i'm kinda done working on this right now, so I'm gonna just take a bit of a breather and see where life leads..."...
What's the plan?
Got any longer term GALing planned? Just stick your nose in work? Plan a winter holiday?
My GAL activities have been on the backburner lately. The kids and I moved out a little over 2 weeks ago. I have been busy getting the kids registered in new schools and extracating myself from the utility accounts at the former house, plus continuing to work full-time. I asked my L if I should continue to pay the gas/electric/water/sewer bills for the house since W was still living there and we were still married. His response was "Do you want to pay the bills for a house that you aren't living in, duhh?". That's all I needed to hear. I paid everything up till 7/30 then I had my name removed from everything. I dropped the rope and my W is on her own. It felt good to cut her loose. My current focus is keeping the kids occupied for the next few weeks before school starts and helping to get them settled in. Once school starts and we get into a routine, I'll get back to focusing on me. As far as my STBXW is concerned, I have the following: I don't care what she is doing, or who or what she is doing it with. I am seeking full custody of the children and I want her to pay me child support. I know that she gets half of the marital assetts (It's a given in N.J.)and I'm OK with that. I also know I will pay her alimony for 3 to 7 years, and that doesn't bother me either. I am looking forward to being free of my W and it's taken me a while to realize that she is not the person I would choose to spend my life with. She isn't even someone I would choose to be friends with. I have no respect for her as a person. As the old saying goes: She has been weighted and measured, and she was found wanting. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, superhero, or perfect person, but I can honestly say that she doesn't meet the quality standards for someone I would want to be involved with.
But, I will not speak bad about her in front of the kids, and I don't want others to either. She will always be their mom and I refuse to drag them into the drama. I hope that some day she will be someone that they can respect and be proud of, but she has a long way to go.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
yeah, things are much quieter over here in separated. You are right, tho. That's a good thing. Step away, decompress, and get urself situated. We'll be here.
Keep us posted.
OMW
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson
M: 45 WAW: 36 T: 17 M: 14 Kids: D9 ILYBNILWY: 6/2010 W left: 2/2011 W back: 2/2012
Not much going here. Took the kids to the beach for a few days to relax. Staying with my sis and Bil in a house they have for the week. It's a nice place a block from the boardwalk in north wildwood. Got a text from W last night telling me to have a good time and that she was taking D11 to a b-day party at a local park on Sunday. I'm glad she is making time to spend with her daughter. I went to a parent education class at the court last night, it's a mandatory thing in nj. Lots of good info on the D process and how custody and child support is worked out. Today is 35 days since I filed. Not sure if W sent a response, i guess my L will let me know if she did. Either way the next step is automatic and things should move right along.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
Yesterday was a busy day for me and the kids. We spent all day on the boardwalk amusement piers riding rides and playing games. W texted at some point asking how things were going. I replied with a photo of D11 from the top of the ferries wheel. W then texted some questions like where are you staying, how is the weather, who else is there...? I didn't respond since I didn't want to be trading texts all day when id rather be having fun with the kids.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
I forgot to have D11 give her mom a call last night to say hi. I'm feeling a little guilty about it because I know it's important to both my w and d. I need to remind myself that It's ok for me to "go dark", but I don't want to restrict contact between my kids and their mom. We are hitting the beach today and the weather should be perfect.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
Howdy. I'm ok and things are moving along. I'm dropping D11 off at the old house tonight so she can have a sleepover with mom. W has only seen her daughter twice since we moved out 4 weeks ago. It's been an exciting week here in south jersey with an earthquake and now we are expecting a hurricane. My D is moving along. It's been over 35 days since w was served and I'm not sure if she submitted a response. I expect to hear from my l on what the step will be.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
I really admire your courage to walk away and take your kids with you. If I was living anywhere other than my childhood home I would hope that I would have the strength to do the same.
How did you make out with the hurricane?
There is a difference between knowing the path & walking the path. � Morpheus
