I just put a 9-page post on another thread, so this will be short. ;-)
I hate to discourage you, but my H has been with the same OW for about 4 years now, as far as I know. I really loved that 6-month limit too, but when it came and went and he just kept sliding farther away from me, I had to let go of it. It is difficult, I know, but the sooner you let go of attachment to a timetable, the easier your life will be.
Have you read Divorce Remedy? If not, then do so immediately! RUN, do not walk, to the library or your favorite bookstore, and get it. Read the other resources you were sent in the beginning as well; they will help you. It is just like MWD says: It will take a long time, and no matter how long it is, it always feels a lot longer.
I'm sorry to be discouraging, so here's a positive thought for you: Take 5 minutes and just concentrate on your breath. Breathe in deeply, slowly, then pause, and then let the air out, slowly, then pause, then repeat. If other thoughts intrude, just gently refocus your attention on your breath. (This is an old yoga exercise, and I have been relying on it for years to help me find peace and calmness in the midst of storms.)
Peace and blessings, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
O wow! Okay. Well, I know I need to detach more. I just know it would bug H if they did break it off. So,I find a little comfort in that if it were to happen. How sick is that. Seems like he is living the high life and enjoying every minute.
Well, day 19 of NC!!! I can't believe myself! It sure cuts down on the pain I feel though. That is good.
Interview next week. And, taking kids on an adventure. So I am GAL.
Everyone wants me to start dating. I can't even imagine. I am still married and will be till papers are signed.
Way to go on the NC. I know how hard it is, but it dies get easier! The detachment helps so much with the pain. You will still have it, but the moments, days, and weeks go by and you will feel it less and less. Just this week has been bad and painful at moments. Today is a better day, and I am looking forward to feeling at peace again.
Try Fig's breathing exercise, it really does help. Keep moving forward. That is the only important motion right now! Have a great time with your kids! They have an awesome mom, show them your strength and your fun side!
Blessings!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Thank you both. Every day it is easier. People have made comments on how well I am doing.
We are GAL here. I sometimes wonder is there any movement or should I say improvment on his side?? We don't hear a thing from him. Even the kids! It is so sad. They didn't ask for a dad like this. Venting.
Okay day 21 of NC for me!! There is no movement on the other side either. As if me and his three kids do not exist! Going to ride it out and see how long it actually takes for H to contact us if ever!
