Journal entry: So much has happened it is time for an entry. Ok so the anniversary went so-so at best. Friday afterwards wasn't too bad actually. We went to dinner rented 2 movies, had fun at home. It was pretty uneventful in a good way. We had fun together we tickled each other, and did such things. Over all good.
Saturday was a little more crazy. Woke up showered did what I had to do, got ready to go to a tournament (part of my GAL) I mentioned this to her, she seemed surprised that I was going, and not spending the day with her. (The next day she was leaving for about 5 days to go see her favorite band) I explained that I wanted to go and that we could do something after I got back. I mentioned that I really would have liked to go with her on the trip, and that it [censored] that I couldn't get off work. She mentioned that maybe I could make it to the second half of the trip since I could get half of Wed to the rest of the week off. I got excited in meeting her halfway so I started looking up tickets. It seemed we were both excited. She then mentioned that if I went she didn't want to go to the show together and that we could go separately. She just didn't think I knew how to behave properly. (She thinks I'm too square or something). OUCH that seriously hurt, and killed all motivation for going. I told her I had changed my mind and thought the tickets were too much. I left the room. As I left she could tell that I was not happy, since she asked if everything was ok. I tried playing it off, but I think we both knew that I was not happy with that comment. I started getting ready to go to my tournament, when she once again asked surprised that I was going and didn't want to spend the last day with her. At this point I asked her: Do YOU want to spend time with me. She could only reply no, that's ok go play. (I could tell she didn't want me to go) I asked her if she was sure a couple of times, the best I got was "maybe" but mostly "its ok go". An hour later right before I left I told her. "Ok look you are leaving for almost a week, I want to spend time with you, do YOU want to spend time with me?" she then said: "I guess" I asked yes or no? She replied "I guess I do want to spend time with you before I go" I took that answer and we went to run some errands followed by dinner and video games. I got a little tipsy at dinner (very unlike me, must have been dehydrated) She doesn't like this, but then again I don't particularly like it either so it's no problem, and she didn't truly get mad, just let me know she disaproved of it. Not a heavy drinker so to me that was a valid concern. The whole day though I made sure that she knew I was not happy. After dinner I told her I am sorry if I seemed moody all day but your comment really struck a nerve. She apologized but then tried to explain her position which to me made things worse. Held my temper, just told her I didn't like that and detached. She could tell most of the night as she kept trying to cheer me up with funny things and by being in a good mood. Which indeed usually does work. Not this time she really did hurt me. At another point she asked if I was ok. To which I asked why couldn't you admit you wanted to be with me. She then replied you know it is hard for me to admit these things. Which is true.... I validated, tried to move on but I was still hurt and it showed. She later called me into the room with a random excuse, but it was really to give me a great big hug. (The first she had initiated since she dropped the D word.) I have to admit it was very nice. I also realized the significance of that hug. She has a hard time expressing things, but will often do things to show me her love. I decided to put it past me. A few minutes later I decided to let her know that I wanted to drop her off, rather than let her drive an hour and a half to the airport by herself, and that I was willing to go pick her up. She seemed to like this. She did some more packing we stayed up playing video games, then we went to bed. The next morning (today) we got ready got in the car, when I noticed she was wearing her wedding ring to the trip. (She hadn't worn it in almost two months.) I tried to pretend I didn't notice, but then she said "I noticed you had a goofy grin when you saw my left hand, I wore it so there was no confusion at the airport" I said "oh sure", then changed the conversation. (Funny how she had to qualify that). The ride was unremarkable, just pretty good. Once we got there she checked in, and made a comment about how I had 30 mins left with her. I nodded and smiled. Once she had to go to TSA she asked me to hold her bag while she got her ticket. I noticed she got real close, and there was also a couple next to us hugging and kissing good bye. I really wanted a hug, but held back out of fear that she would not want it. Good thing is that after a few seconds of awkwardness because she had gotten close and was saying good bye, she hugged me. It was very nice.... I want to credit the 180's mentioned early for it. Drove home, since then she has texted me throughout the day to let me know of her progress. Going semi dark, by only waiting for her to initiate.
25 yrs I think I may have used some of the wrong words in the last response. By teasing I meant doing things such as goofily pointing out when she says something silly. So that we can both laugh about it. Which we have been doing to good results. I would never "make fun of" my wife. I meant teasing like in the way that a young couple flirts. Did not mean to make that confusing. It is not meant to teach a lesson. I am not vindictive honest!
By showing her that I am mad about something, I did not mean anger at all. I seriously think anger is below me, and not the appropriate response to my W. I have been known to raise my voice, but it is always in response to her raising hers, and she usually calls me out on it, and I try to tone it down. I do not let anger color our arguments. I learned that does not work. The other thing is I don't hold grudges past a day. It's just not me I know it is very counterproductive. So yes I meant demand respect.
As for my W behavior yes it is extreme, yes it hurts, but as said before these are during heavy episodes. These are not things she casually throws at me, or in most cases has even said more than once. I have learned to keep my cool when she goes into extreme anger, and to let her let it out. Afterwards if necessary we can talk about it. Most importantly I have learned not to let it get to me. Trust me there was a period, where these things did get to me, but I have learned to weather through them and give her the time and space to consider the things she has said. Most importantly I have learned through other resources that when she gets like this it is not her talking but her frustrations. It is not an excuse, but it sure helps me understand her, and know where she is coming from.
I have read both DB and DR, and have been meaning to get 5LL. Really want to read that one, but I do know this. For my wife words don't mean as much as actions do. She communicates more through actions she may have a hard time communicating how she really feels verbally, but she shows it to me every day by the way she acts. Additionally by detaching when I feel upset, it is not me throwing a tantrum, but non-verbally letting her know that I did not like that comment. I have noticed that this works better than "talking about it" Yes using the word anger was wrong when all I meant to say was that I now detach to show that I am not in a good mood.
Finally I must stress that by venting my frustrations on my logs, I did not mean to make her sound like the evil person that she is coming out to be. My W is a wonderful person who shows it to me on a daily basis otherwise I would not be pouring this much effort and energy into our M. I am not making excuses, but I see her behaviors as yet another manifestation of WAW. I truly believe the saying that is thrown around here "don't believe anything they say, and only 50% of what they do" I know it holds true, she may have said some very ugly things but I know she does not mean them. She herself has realized this too after calming down.
I realize that this post must sound very defensive, and I fully take responsibility where I have failed as a husband. As stated before self respect is something that I slowly let slide until it has become an issue. I am working on that, but by far I am not an abusive husband. Please don't infer from the earlier post that I am. As for my W she herself is going through her own issues she must deal with, we are both trying our best. I realize we are definitely far from the piecing stage, but I can tell from our day to day interactions that she cares, even if she has an occasional relapse.
Please do not misjudge the sitch it is far from being perfect, or even normal, but we are in a good place and make progress on a daily basis.
gb90... there was something that I felt might have been missed in 25yrs' post.
First, you are doing an awesome job detailing your sitch. There is a lot that we know with all that info.
There is a huge amount of energy being spent micro analyzing the sitch, your W, and your interactions with W.
When are you going to take a little break and take care of yourself? What are you doing to GAL, outside of things you feel may effect your M and W? What are you doing to detach?
I saw your comment in the SSM forum and read your situation here.
I think you are doing a really good job of trying to save your marriage. You should be proud of and take pride in what you are doing. If/when it succeeds you will have one hell of a good relationship.
A couple of thoughts.
First, get a copy of Dr Glovers book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. This book isn't about being a jerk, it is about men getting a life, and becoming a man who is in touch with his own needs. In my experience, when I stopped being a Nice Guy (which to Dr Glover, is a bad thing, as it is a man who puts pleasing women over his own interests and needs at every turn) she found me much more atractive and respected me more.
Congratulations on your working on GAL, it is really, really important!
Second, doing 180's is creating your own (high stakes) sociological experiment. If something doesn't work in your marriage; try something different until you find out what does work. You seem to understand this at one level, but really need to figure out what it is that needs to work with your wife.
One caution on 180's, expect your wife to test and challenge you along the way. Mine certainly did! Mine tried repeatedly to pick fights with me to see if I was serious about the changes I was making in my life, in the way I was treating her, etc. You might also want to read up on boundaries in a relationship.
Another thought is that age 25 seems to be a magic time for young women these days. From observations of my two son's significant others; 25 seems to be a new mid-life crisis time for young women. You might read up on that to see what might be going there her head and see if she is feeling that time is rushing past her. I have a daughter-in-law whose biological alarm clock has gone off, but she doesn't have the job situation she yet wants that will easily allow her to have children (I saw where you said you both don't want kids, you might want to make sure she doesn't). It might also be a good time to find out and discuss more of her life goals for herself. She might be questioning all of them and looking for a female mentor to help her figure her life out, rather than truly wanting a bi experience.
In addition to just about everything that MWD has written, I also have found the book by Dr. Chapman, the Five Languages of Love to be very helpful. Throught that book I learned how my wife had been telling me for decades that she loved me (having dinner ready when I got home, doing special things for me) that I didn't realize was her way of saying she loved me. I showed her my love by touching her and telling her how wonderful she was (my languages of love). She needed me to do acts of service for her and spend quality time with her to feel loved. Making my wife feel loved in her languages of love, really changed the dynamic in our relationship.
Finally, I would like to suggest that some women (I owe this knowledge to a poster on this forum called Dance Queen and finally listening to my wife) really really enjoy the passion of their man when it comes to sex. If you look at all the grocery store romance novels (The covers of these novels tended to feature scantily clad women being grabbed by the hero, and caused the novels to be referred to as "bodice-rippers") it is a fairly common desire on the part of women to be passionately desired by a strong man. Once you stop being viewed by your wife as a "Nice Guy," she may find you as the passionate, Alpha-male lover she has secretly desired.
Now the caution. This does not mean rape nor forcing yourself on her. It is a delicate dance of let her know of your passion for her and letting her feed off of that and use it to allow her to get herself excited.
(caution too much information follows) I know that when my wife finds me really aroused and I hold her tight, then hold her arms down while I kiss her, it makes her horny. Rather than being a "Nice Guy" all the time focused on making sure she has an orgasm, if I take charge, make sure she is arroused and then focus on what I want, it (on ocassion) makes her really enjoy things! Be careful, as there was a time in my relationship when trying this would have been bad news. It was only after things improved and she was used to regular sex with me that this started to happen.
I wish you the best of luck. I have found that when I was in an SSM, that posting was very theraputic.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
First, I'm glad to hear that your posts are more negative than the reality is. We all have used this place to vent, so don't worry that we can't relate. We can.
Second, what I'm most interested in has been alluded to here already. What are YOU doing for YOU? Yes a tournament sounds good but I guess I don't know what your 180s are, or your new GAL are.
Also, SHE said she wanted a divorce or she threw that word out in a fight and never retracted? That word needs to be off limits unless the person is ready to file or thinking seriously about it. Not as a weapon or threat.
And why is she "following" a band she likes, for FIVE days, without you? Oh, you can't go because of work. I know maybe ZERO happily married couples who would then have one spouse go away for so long for something like that, which is, btw, on the list of "Signs of an Affair." Yes -attending events like concerts, "alone" is a sign of an affair-it's right on the list b/c most happily married couples don't part for that long for a concert. Is the concert one night? How is it five days? Where is she staying?
Is it a music festival? Oh, AND she wants to go SEPARATELY?? okay that's not behavior of happily married people. And she thinks YOU don't know how to behave b/c she goes nuts when you drive a shopping cart badly or answer one of her set up questions the wrong way.
Just letting you know, you need to identify what is and isn't healthy and stop enabling crazy stuff. Just mho.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
GAL: I read, play a collectible card game at the tournament level, play video games, work out, and some basic home improvement. Yep that's it. No skydiving, no scuba, dance lessons, or martial arts. Nothing cool or interesting is available here. This is a small military town. Most get drunk and in trouble, or have kids so that they have something to do. (Not saying having kids is bad, but being young and childless is not fun here.) Trust me I have looked for GAL activities! In fact I am bored out of my mind right now. Heck lurking these boards counts as GAL in my book. We have a lot of chain restaurants, one movie theather, one hastings, and a crummy mall. To make things worse I got assigned here for six months, so no time to form deep friendships. I have one month and half left so doing things like signing up for guitar lessons seems pointless. If I could find guitar lessons. Now there is a big city 1.5 hours from here but with gas prices it seems almost hopeless to go unless a whole day trip is planned. If that is the case then I'd rather take my W with me.
My W says she has it worse since I at least can distract myself with work for about 8 hours a day. I am not making excuses for her, but it does not surprise me that she is bored out of her mind, when I am bored too!. She sees no point in doing school, or seeking a job, since we will be moving AGAIN in less than 2 months. So yeah she feels trapped, and in a way I don't blame her. Not making excuses just validating. I mean I feel trapped too!
Am I responsible for her entertainment? No, but I understand her situation, and want to help.
Now about that concert..... The original plan months ago was to go together. Then I could not get off from work. She seemed down, I know she is going nuts here so I told her she could go on her own. She at first tried saying she couldn't but I insisted. Now why five days? Well 1 to get there, 1 for concert, 1 to travel to second city, 1 for second concert, and 1 to travel back. Could she have met up someone there? yeah, could she meet someone new there? yeah. Could she cheat on me with the band? Yeah... but when am I going to start trusting her? One of my 180's and she told me this one were my jealousy problems. I had a hard time letting her go out with friends she knew from high school. I would constantly call, and text, and get moody. I'm having trouble right now! I dont want that to be me, I am tired of living paranoid, needy, and all around miserable. I want to get through this. You're right 25yrs she very well could be, but getting worried sick will not help my situation, and confronting her as soon as she gets back will not make me look any more trusting, independent, and strong. I will only seem weak, needy, and desperate. Besides she promised that if she ever did something she'd tell me. If she hasn't come clean yet, why would she come clean now? Especially if I interrogate her as soon as she gets back. I can't let negative ideas like that destroy me, especially if I can't prove them. Trust is all I can do, until she proves otherwise. Her actions could be seen as suspicious, but they do not mean she is guilty.
Am I living in denial? No, just accepting that I can't control her. It sure takes a load of my back to do that All I know is that I have done my best to hopefully give her a strong enough foundation to hopefully fight off temptation if it rears its ugly head.
I have received a bit of advice saying not to over analyze things....worrying about this concert would be over analyzing. Especially since it would stress me soooo much.
Besides her being gone for 5 days gives me some time to GAL on my own, and for her to miss me. I am proud of having kept contact to a minimum so far.
As for your concerns about whether a happy marriage would allow this, yeah most likely not. Remember this though we as of this moment do not have a happy marriage. We had a 2 week separation, we actually filed, we had the ugly fights, the pleading, the begging, and even one instance of me over drinking. (At home of course, I still have a career to think about) Never doing that again.... Thanks to the advice of a friend, who almost went through a divorce too I started GAL, 180's, and even learned how to manage her episodes. She actually came back thanks to the advice I got from this friend. I found DB after I decided to get help from books. Imagine how surprised I was when I found out the changes I was making are the DB basics! So yes my wife is WAW, and I have learned from DB and this forum that means expect some pretty outrageous behaviors, and statements. (Believe nothing she says, 50% of what she does). I also know that despite her being back as Young at heart said, I am being tested. Some of this behavior in my opinion are just more tests, to see if I lose my temper, to see if I lose my self respect, to see if I get overbearingly jealous again, and to see if I cave in again. I understand this and as a DBing husband I accept this. As I mentioned before we are not piecing yet. Piecing to me means that both parties have decided that hard work is necessary because the marriage is SO WORTH it. We are not there yet, she has seen my positive changes. I know she is holding out to see if I go back to my old ways. All I can do is make everyday a little bit better, and slowly win her love, affection, respect, but most important her confidence back. She needs to have confidence that this great new guy she is seeing is here to stay. I understand this will take time. Phew another long post!!
Young at Heart Thanks for the encouragement I really needed that. Definitely need to pick up those books. I agree that 25 is the new MLC age. I know mine sees being 50 as a terrible thing, so MLC at 25 makes a lot of sense! As for the passion, I know she has asked for this before! I always found it so hard based on all the precondition she would put it. We had passion, until the preconditions came. They sure killed the passion. Maybe she wanted me to be strong and break the conditions? I'm not sure. For now I need to work on self respect, and being strong. I read some of Dancequeen's post in the SSM forum from the few I read she sounded very wise.
I swear I hate writing all these things, because that is not how I see myself! I never saw myself as weak. In my line of work weak guys get run over by their subordinates. That doesn't happen to me. Although I do admit that I was always of the type that would rather just agree, than get into a fight with my W.
I know she has dropped hints telling me that she wanted me to be more assertive with her, and I see them clearly now. The problem is I always took them for W double speak and thought that despite her saying she wanted me to call the shots, what she really wanted was just for me to agree with her. In hindsight I probably took the old saying "would you rather be married or right?" a little bit too far.
A note of caution, somewhat unrelated to your marriage but not really.
Size 00 combined with worry about a 300 calorie meal is a big red flag for an eating disorder or at least the slippery slope toward one. 1200 calories a day is the recommended healthy *minimum*.
If she is not getting enough nutrition on a regular basis, her brain isn't going to be functioning up to standard, and all your efforts will be faced with a substantial drag factor. Not to mention the possibly serious threat to her general health.
Be aware.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Young at Heart ...Definitely need to pick up those books.
...I agree that 25 is the new MLC age. I know mine sees being 50 as a terrible thing, so MLC at 25 makes a lot of sense!
...As for the passion, I know she has asked for this before! I always found it so hard based on all the precondition she would put it. We had passion, until the preconditions came. They sure killed the passion. Maybe she wanted me to be strong and break the conditions? I'm not sure.
...For now I need to work on self respect, and being strong.
....Although I do admit that I was always of the type that would rather just agree, than get into a fight with my W.
....I know she has dropped hints telling me that she wanted me to be more assertive with her, and I see them clearly now. The problem is I always took them for W double speak and thought that despite her saying she wanted me to call the shots, what she really wanted was just for me to agree with her. In hindsight I probably took the old saying "would you rather be married or right?" a little bit too far.
.....(other post)....GAL: I read, play a collectible card game at the tournament level, play video games, work out, and some basic home improvement. Yep that's it. No skydiving, no scuba, dance lessons, or martial arts. Nothing cool or interesting is available here. This is a small military town. Most get drunk and in trouble, or have kids so that they have something to do. (Not saying having kids is bad, but being young and childless is not fun here.) Trust me I have looked for GAL activities! In fact I am bored out of my mind right now. Heck lurking these boards counts as GAL in my book. We have a lot of chain restaurants, one movie theather, one hastings, and a crummy mall. To make things worse I got assigned here for six months, so no time to form deep friendships. I have one month and half left so doing things like signing up for guitar lessons seems pointless. If I could find guitar lessons. Now there is a big city 1.5 hours from here but with gas prices it seems almost hopeless to go unless a whole day trip is planned. If that is the case then I'd rather take my W with me.
First, I think you have a very good understanding of the issues in your marriage. That is incredible, it takes many people forever to get to the point you are at in awareness!
Now you need to take action! Now the tough love.
As a "recovering nice guy" to what your words seem imply you are a "nice guy" you really need to get Dr. Glover's book! The following is his website, so you can check it out and then order it on Amazon.com or some other book seller. Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy website
Get his book and read it ASAP!
One of the keys that Glover recommends is GAL!
As to GAL, suck it up guy.... and work at getting a real life, one that will WOW your wife and other women and show your wife that you are a different man. It also needs to WOW you! Drop the video games, enjoy your card games, but get a life that involve physical effort or skills that are maybe sexual sterotypes of an alpha male. Stop hobbies that "kill time." Make your limited time on earth count for something.
Don't expect life to be handed to you on a silver platter, make things happen & visualize what you want for yourself. Set goals, develop plans and implement them. You have options even if there are not "instructors in your small town." That is an excuse.
Pick a GAL that will transformer you, your opinion of yourself and one that will transform your wife's opinion of you. Do something that you may secretly have always wanted to do or though that you could never have done.
For example, you could easily go to a Goodwill store (or Craig's List) and get a used weight lifting set and weight bench and work on your body without instruction. A DVD or book should be enough to get you going. Have you ever wanted 6-pack abs or stronger shoulders? You can make it happen. Go to the Men's Health website and look at some of their exercise programs.
You could start running and sign up for an 8K, half marathon or even a full marathon. Some of the people at your post might even be talked into training with you. Each year in New Mexico they do the Battan Death March marathon with military boots and packs. Talk to your post commander and see if you can sign up for the next one next year as a sponsored group. Bataan Memorial Death March Marthon website
Set yourself a transforming physical goal and train for it.
Take up hunting or competitive shooting. Or perhaps trail running. If there are tons of kids in your small town volunteer to help lead boy scout physical outings or camping trips.
How about getting an old car and working on it or an old junk boat as a home shop project? Ever thought about rock climbing? Some folks start rock climbing with something called bouldering, which is done just a few feet off the ground (above a crash pad) and allows you to work by yourself or with another on the basics.
You don't need to have an instructor, you can make things happen. Not having an instructor is an excuse.
Visualize what you want, then make it happen. Do this for yourself and it will not only help you, it will likely help your relationship (current or future).
My GAL that transformed me was serious exercise & weight loss (40+ pounds), half marathons, and mountain climbing. My wife saw that I was a different person interacting with a new group of people. Her girlfriends were telling her how good I looked and how luckey she was to have such an interesting & healthy husband.
I remember recently where I got to a restaurant early to get a table for us for dinner and when my wife got there she asked the waitress if I was there. The waitress (earned a big tip) by asking my wife if she was there to join the tall hansome older guy? (How could my wife say no?)
After completing long runs that I had never imagined possible, it changed my self-image. It gave me things that I wanted to do and time demands that my wife needed to bend her schedule to accommodate. It made me more interesting to her. It made her realized that there were other women who would be thrilled to have me as their husband and that I was worth fighting for.
Also tell your wife that you love her and that you would like the "two of you" to work on your relationship when she is ready. Make sure that you don't push her away, so the timing on this may be sometime in the future.
When you are at the stage get some good marital counseling. Since your wife has indicated a bisexual orientation and you have indicated she has strong sex "pre-conditions", I strongly suggest a board certified sex therapist. Sex therapists are trained marriage counselors who have "extra" training over and above a typical marriage counselor in matters dealing with sexual relations between two people, sex addiction, sexual orientation, sexual hang-ups, etc. Find one and talk to one who has training and can help you with the issues you are facing.
Keep telling yourself that you are a good man, and worthy of a healthy loving relationship with a woman who cares deeply about you. Words of affirmation along with visualization are powerful tools. Start doing things for you. Stop being a Nice Guy who gets his pleasure by pleasing women in your life. Please yourself in ways that build who you are.
Good luck to you. As a recovering Nice Guy, I wish you the best.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
Just to note that all of your GAL activities are done alone. You need to do things that get you around other people, preferably healthy people who model normal healthy behavior. (Not people who reject a meal, offered as a GIFT, b/c it has 300 calories... )
There are clubs and organizations around you. Oh, you aren't in a cosmopolitan area? Too bad buddy, b/c neither were we. We were stationed in the interior of Alaska. I had a newborn baby and had quit my job in the prior place so I was jobless. I knew no one there outside of my family. Maybe that's why I did more there, just to feel alright and get out of the house despite absurdly cold temperatures-like (50'F below zero) than I did in a city in Texas. It IS possible & hey, I proved it.
I volunteered at a woman's shelter,I did PTA stuff, auditioned for many theater roles & did shows & stand up, I joined the spouses club, entered a neighborhood program for wildlife watch, worked out with others and sometimes alone, took archery with my daughter, helped with son's wrestling team-you don't have to have a child to help coach/teach/mentor, I fished and did outdoorsy things when weather permitted, joined a writer's club and I took a pottery class (way outside my typical interests) AND an economics class (and investment courses/seminars) despite having a doctorate already.
Yes you can model some real GAL activities even where you are. I did ALL the above in the middle of nowhere. Otherwise you both are "waiting" for the area you are in to make your lives interesting. If you have to drive somewhere, drive/carpool.Don't wait for "it" to happen. Take charge of your life. You are wasting precious time and learning so little. Take a language class, do something.
Otherwise, do you honestly think you two will get a lot out of living in Europe? I don't see her as immersing herself in another culture. The lack of iniative on so many fronts is a pattern.
Imagine your life is a novel. How's this chapter going for you? What do you want to have happen in the next chapter, and the rest of the book? How will your novel end? And finally, who is writing it?
Be the author of your life. Start now.
You can model this
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
All I know is that I have done my best to hopefully give her a strong enough foundation to hopefully fight off temptation if it rears its ugly head.