Take The Long Way Home...

[ninelives]

FOBD

Like most of the bits here. You are a special man that has seen his errors and wished to change them.

YOU are not a failure man. I will NEVER understand how these could not have been busted but stas show otherwise.

Go to 2steps posts and read what 25 has offered. It may give you some comfort.

Survival is the key now FOBD. Stay above ground because only there can you heal. Cliche as hell but only time will tell.

Keep being the NEW you and even if she doesnt notice, it is good.


All the best FOBD. Our hearts are with you.

9

[FellOnBlackDays]

Hey BITS,
Well, not much to report again. I made the call this past Wednesday night as I told you all I was going to do. We had texted earlier in the day. I specifically told her I would be calling around 10pm to discuss this D that she wants so f*cking badly. So, what does she do. She goes out!!! I call her, she answers with a somewhat crappy attitude. I try to make small talk and she informs me she can't talk. I tell her that the petition is ready to be picked up at my A's office. She acknowledges the information and then proceeds to try to immediately get off the phone. I let my aggravation slip a bit. At one point, I just laughed sarcastically into the phone. She asked me "what was that?" I replied, "absolutely nothing, (name). You are something else." She sat there quite for a minute and then said, "Well, can we talk later?" I replied, "Yes, when? Tonight? Tomorrow? I would like to plan accordingly as to not interrupt your busy schedule." She sensed at that point I was not happy. She replied, "I don't know, just later." I replied, "Whatever you want, you know where I will be" and I hung up the phone.

Team, my patience is wearing thin. She wanted this f*cking D and now when I call to talk about the thing, she is TOO busy. Really? Your night out with friends is more important than details regarding our D after 10 years of marriage. You really are a piece of work, my love.

So, I call the A today to find out if she had been by to pick up the papers. They inform me not only has she not shown up, she hasn't even called to set up an appt or time to get the damned papers!!! Are you kidding me???

Folks, I am just venting. No 2x4's needed here. I am just getting tired of the games. You want out, my love. Here! Here is your walking papers! Oh, wait, I am sorry, now you are too busy to get this done or to even give me enough time to give you the address of the A's office? I do believe I am dealing with a complete "nut job" at this point. Sorry, for the tone. I am not really mad and I do still care. But, this is ridiculous. I think she really needs to do some growing up. This is not a game. It is our lives she is screwing around with and I am not sure I appreciate her behavior.

Tomorrow it will be a week since I talked to her. I guess she has decided that she will do this on her own sweet time. If she doesn't show up to get the papers by the end of the week, I am going to have her served. I guess she doesn't realize that I now mean business and I will no longer be jerked around. You want a divorce? Well, hear it is. You opened this "Pandora's Box," it is not my concern that you cannot control what is coming out of it.

Once again, I am not pissed. I am just tired of the foolishness. I am giving what she wants and now she is going to play around with it like a six-year-old who doesn't want to eat her vegetables while sitting at the dinner table. Not acceptable...

Go ahead, fire away. I come here to vent so I don't vent to her. So, let me have it. I know I have it coming...

FOBD

[punchy]

Nothing wrong with venting here. You are in a tough spot emotionally and you have alot to deal with at this time. The problem with the situations on this board is that the WAW and LBS are never on the same emotional timeline.

She was ahead of you and wanted a divorce, you wanted to save the marriage, you caught up to the divorce phase only to find now that she may not be in the same hurry as you to get it done.

You just have to go with the flow and focus on your new life without her.

[ninelives]

FOBD

I think that you wait for now. Unless things will be affected by waiting, ie) the settlement will change , or she may change her mind about money in the settlement, what does it matter if she waits or not?

Maybe she is conflicted and NOt sure what she is doing. Maybe she has reflected on everything that has happened and doesnt know if she is doing the right thing.

I know you are hurt and want to make her aware of the consequences , and althought she doesn't deserve it, your marriage does.

Im not saying that you should have a lot of hope that she will come back to the marriage , but always take the high road. It will serve you better in the end.

Just my 2 cents.

9

[OnMyWay]

Great advise from punchy & 9. You've done your part, so do nothing else. She must have skin in this game. Don't make it easy for her or give her a reason to resent you by making a decision for her (aka having her served). Just move on with your life until she figures it out.

My W did the same thing. She was a major Beeotch wanting a D. I finally realized I can't control her or what she does, so I dumped it back on her with an, "I've thought it over and if you feel a D is what you need then I won't stand in your way." She asked why I changed my mind. I just told her I hadn't, but I recognized she needed to do what she needed to do and I'm not gonna fight with her about it. Told her to make her best offer up front and let's get it done. That was back in the beginning March. She's done nothing.

I've regularly found once they feel they you're back on their side of things, they change the rules. The more against I am about staying together, the closer W becomes. The more you are about getting D, the less important it is to your W. The less you want to be with them, the more they start coming around. It IS crazy. Flat out insane, if you ask me.

Chin up FOBD. You are still my hero!