Last night my D2 and I got to the library early. Story time had just begun when my W arrived. The kids sit on the floor and we sit behind them on chairs. My W grabbed a chair and sat next to me. It was fun. We shared little inside jokes and laughed at our D2's behavior. We were sitting next to a couple that had two kids there. They both had their wedding bands on and looked really happy together. First off, I was very jealous of them. Mostly I wanted to just grab the guy and tell him to never take his family for granted. That when life got tough, he should hold his head high bc a family that loves him is waiting at home.
Anyways, night went off without any real hitches. Like I said before, definently in the friend zone. we are making a habit of putting our D2 to bed around 8. At about 830, W begins to text me. Wanted to tell me how the neighbors house is for sale and they gave her and her mom a dime tour. How spacious it was and yada, yada. At the end of the texting I sent a "good night wife" text and she almost immediately responded the same.
No contact with wife until tonight. I needed some info from her bc I am buying a new truck. Called her. She told me she would email it to me and then we talked a little bout my new vehicle. W has D2 tonight. At about 7, she sent me a pic of D2 and hers feet. She had painted their toes. It did look cute. Sent w a little joke bout how D2 has the same toes as her.
Tomorrow night will be harder bc I know my W will be with OM. I will have D2 and can't wait to see her. My cousin and his W got a new puppy and we will be going to see it. Should be fun.
Been enjoying my weekend with my D2. We are at a waterpark with my brother and his family. Hard to not look at all these other dad's and feel envy.
W called me yesterday morning to tell me D2 didn't need her medicine anymore. Then like it has been lately, our convo went from there. I ended it bc I told her I needed to get ready. She called back like 5 min later to tell me something funny that had just happened. We had a short, funny convo and then wished each other a good day.
Today I am with my D2 and she is with OM in minneapolis. Gotta keep the thoughts of them sleeping together outta my head.
a friend of mine from california and his w, who i will be visiting this summer, really would like me to bring my WHOLE family along. in a perfect world it would be a fantastic trip. they too have young kids and we could all spend our time at the beach or disney or whatever. however, at this point, this is just a pipe dream of mine.
anyways, i did inform them of why my w won't be joining us. they have been great about it. they told me how they too had seperated for a while and how they worked it out. his w has been much trying to help me. here is a letter she sent me this weekend. i want to know what everyone thinks of her advice....please!
i ended my last email with "woman always want what they can't have!"
here's her response:
that is true, but you not bringing it up doesn't help your case. you can't expect her to just choose you, the other guy isn't going to sit idly by and let her make her choice, he's going to plead his case, so to speak, and so should you. and i personally think yours is MUCH stronger! she loved you enough to marry you, and have a family with you, he doesn't have that. he's probably still wondering exactly how she feels about him. you know how she's capable of feeling about you. but you have to remind her of that. TELL her you want her to choose you, and give your family another chance. tell you want D2 to be with both of you, not some stranger. tell her how much you have missed her, and that you'll take it as slow as she needs to for you to prove you've changed. but whatever you tell her, it has to come from your heart. women are emotional beings and we can tell when something sounds rehearsed or insincere. just be real with her and let her know, that you know, what a colossal mistake you made and that you'll spend the rest of your life fixing it. and dude... of COURSE she's having her cake and eating it too!!! wouldn't you if you were in her position? don't you think she deserves to feel twice as loved after she went so long not feeling loved at all? i don't mean that to hurt your feelings, but you know you didn't give her what she needed and so of course she's enjoying the attention. don't take it personally. the most important thing is that you tell her (without pressuring or bugging her) how much YOU want her. otherwise, if you sit back silently, she's going to fall right into the arms of the person showing her the most love. there's my expert analysis...
she is kind of a mini WAW. she did leave him, but their seperation was only a little over a month. she told me she grew unhappy and wasn't sure if H was the man she wanted to be with. she missed her family to much and decided they must work on things....something we're all hoping for. neither one has mentioned OP. i really don't believe there was one.
Iw, Good to hear the positive tones in your posts. I very happy to see that you are doing well. As always, let the OM stuff takes it course. She will either get tired of it or not. But, you can't control or fix that. OM may have crept into my sitch, but I am doing what I can to not let it bother me. Yes, I have also suffered with jealousy of other couples lately. It is hard to see them together and happy. I have been pulling my buddies aside and telling them to be better husbands. Funny, they listen to me pretty intently now that I am where I am. I put the fear of God in them with my advice.
Hang in there, buddy!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
FOBD, always good to hear from the BIT commander. I do have to just ride out the OM. I can't control her actions. He is only human and definitely has flaws. He WILL reveal them. My W knows mine and so do I. I have been working hard to change them and I think it is being noticed.....I hope.
Well here's what's been happening. W called sunday morning to talk to D2. After they talked, I kept the convo short. Found out that afternoon that a friend of ours, brother had died. I texted W to see if she knew. She said she did. I texted that I wish she had told. She said she was sorry she hadn't told me.
Had two showings on our house yesterday. W called me monday morning just wondering what time the showings were. I kept the convo very short. Didn't really feel like talking to her when all I could think about was how she was with OM all weekend.
After work I went straight to the gym. W called me and left a vm abot how her hours would be changing at work. I called back 2 hrs later. She told me that it was bc she had gotten a promotion. I'll admit she is a very hard worker who did deserve this. We had an upbeat convo. I congratulated her many times.
She called me later to tell me that D2 had used the potty. Pretty proud of that one. later that night I was practicing playing guitar, country you are my inspiration for this, and I decided to send her a text about her new job. Well it just went from there. We went back and forth about how nice the money will be and what a load off her mind it will be too.
This is when I decided to try to be a little more bold. Sent W a text saying "kinda like it that we've been talking more." She wrote back that she liked it too and that I was actually answering my phone. She stated "this has been a problem for 6 yrs." I admit she was right. I would always just leave it in my truck and get back to her when I felt like it. She got tired of trying to reach me. I think if she is bringing up something that was an issue in our R...she might still care??? Anyways, we went back and forth for a while and in the end wished each other a good night. I actually got some sleep that night too.
I think you are doing well. As you know, I've gone back and forth on the "friend zone" thing. Looking back, it's not a bad place to be. But there is a balance there. I think it is very good she recognizes the issue in the M and you are now showing her you have changed. The trick here is being the friend but also being mysterious and not always there for her.
Tough balance, I know.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Country You are so right buddy. I like being in the friend zone too, but it is a hard line to walk. On one hand I feel us reconnecting slowly and on the other I feel she has it made right now. Both of us there for her. I want my house to sell bc then we'll see the rubber hit the road. If she is done with this marriage, it will be time for her to file. I need this black cloud to move on, one way or another!
Anyways, a little GAL. My friend is coming down to go out in milwaukee on good friday. Well now my company just gave me brewers tickets for that night too. Gonna hit up the game and then hit up the town!
later that night I was practicing playing guitar, country you are my inspiration for this, and I decided to send her a text about her new job. Well it just went from there. We went back and forth about how nice the money will be and what a load off her mind it will be too.