WAW tearing up our family part II

[~¤DG¤~]

It's perfectly normal to feel sad at times. I'd be worried if you didn't feel that emotion from time to time.

You have a great attitude about everything, and that is a major plus for you.

[OnMyWay]

But, she has always, always hated being wrong. And, I haven't done it often ..... but I do occasionally remind her that this isn't what I want, but understand it is what she feels is necessary. And she gets angry .... she doesn't want to feel like the bad guy.

Perhaps we need to exchange W photos to be sure we aren't married to the same woman. OMG, this sounds so familiar!

Breath deep ironMan. Next few days will be difficult, but this day has long been coming and I'm glad it's finally over with for you. Now you can begin the process of getting over it.

[ironMan]

Thanks DelinquintGurl and OnMyWay. Last night and this morning were difficult. But I am so glad to have the support of people on this board. Instead of this being a HORRIBLE event .... it's just an unpleasant one!

I know this dull ache in my heart will get better with time .... I just have to make sure I guide my life in a positive direction.

[2stepboogie]

IronMan:

What is coming is going to be very hard. When they live with you it is easier in a way. You get frustrated much easier and you learn to accept the fact that they are leaving. Sometimes you almost wish it so that the rollercoaster stops. You are mad one minute and sad the next. You say things like “good. Go have fun and see how much it is out there without me” Mostly in your head.

Then they leave.

Now comes a different set of emotions all together. Denial is one. Anger. Frustration. Just to name a few. It is important at this point that you start to reflect and do yourself growth. You having nothing in the way at this point, take the time and do the work. You have come a long way from where you started.

In the army we do force marches sometimes 12miles sometimes 24 miles. At some point after 10 miles it does not matter how far you have to go because you can’t feel your shoulders your back your feet are bleeding and it is the easiest time to stop moving and just get on the truck. The worse part of these marches is not how long they are, it is knowing you can stop walking at anytime and get on the truck or the bus that’s trailing you. It is in mile 10 that you start to find yourself. This is where your mettle is tested and your grit starts to pull through. Whenever everything in your being is telling you to stop and you take one more step, then another then another. Don’t get me wrong the entire thing s%$ks but You are now in mile 10 heading towards mile 24. Empty house is no house at all. You have the right idea on how to proceed. The implementation is a little harder to do but stay the course and be strong. You know where to find me if you need to talk.

Hate to say it but I know how you feel cause I have been there.

[ironMan]

2step .... WOW!!! WOW WOW. Thank you so much.

I have ALWAYS been known for refusing to quit. Around here, hiking a 14er, or riding a very long mountain bike trail feels as you describe it. You get bloody, you hurt, and at some point ... you know it is really YOU, that you are finding and fighting against. You learn to blast though perceived limitations and find out what you're really capable of.

I guess that is what now is. Well, 2step, if I were on mile 10 with a 50lb pack on my back, I'd just keep putting one foot in front of the other and not worry too much about the finish line. That's what I'll do here as well.

Thank you so much for putting that perspective to it. Sometimes I'm tempted to just go get a GF and blow up the M and show my W the middle finger, and remind her this is all her fault.

But, that won't help much. So, I'll just keep walking thru the pain.

[2stepboogie]

You just entered mile 10. Time to tighten up the pack wipe the tears of pain away and start walking on pure will power and stubbornness, the stubbornness to no quit because quitting is the easiest thing in the world for anyone us to do. It’s not about being a doormat; it’s about finding the better Ironman in the end. The guys on the bus get no respect if they just quit. The ones at the finish line who can hardly walk and are pi$$ing blood are the ones who celebrate. They have accomplished something.

You my friend will celebrate……………..but not yet.

Now comes the pain.

[OnMyWay]

Sometimes I'm tempted to just go get a GF and blow up the M and show my W the middle finger, and remind her this is all her fault.

Go ahead and get the GF if you want (eventhough it is not recommended here), but only because it makes you feel better, not because you have something to prove. You know giving the W the proverbial finger (literal or otherwise) will only make you the bad guy. Right or wrong, you can't rub any of this in her face.

After my WAW moved out, I got asked out by a hot chick who was much younger than me. Mind you, I know this board looks down on dating and I don't recommend it, but a few things did happen. First, my W had already given me her blessing to actively date, so I figured there was no harm in it, although she was surprised it happened so soon (3 days after moving out). Second, due the to age difference and the fact that this OW is very attractive, it was a HUGE boost to my badly bruised ego. Third, my DB Coach approved, so I figured, again, it was ok. Last, it actually made my W jealous, although she is rather guarded about admitting it and says she doesn't care. That night, though, she texted me at 9pm that she was all of a sudden "too tired" to drive home to her place and stayed in our home with our D, an obvious ploy to make sure I didn't bring OW home. Very odd for a W who doesn't care about me or what I do. I made sure I stayed out until 4am that night.

Now, I do NOT have a R with this OW and have been nothing but honest with her. She took me out mainly to let me vent and to get me away from my sitch. It was very kind of her. W, however, doesn't know any of the details of my R with her and I'm keeping it that way, as it's none of her business. Point is I have made it a point to NOT rub this OW in W's face. I admit to letting W imagine it in her own mind by not giving up any details, but I've never been anything more than respectful. I always approach from the standpoint of "this is what you wanted" and "I'm simply moving on because you wanted me to."

In an odd way, it seems to be working. I've found out through facebook, she's let her family know about this supposed "OW." There's nothing they can say about it, because they know W cheated on me, asked me for a D, then left me. So, It's hard to argue with me regarding anything I'm perceived of doing with an OW (which is nothing). For some reason, I find this all very humorous.

I guess, ironMan, what I am trying to say is be happy, sure, but alway remain "politically correct" even though it is so tempting throw an nasty "eff ewe" her way and know you are within your rights to do so. I guess it just comes down to being the bigger person, eh? In order to gain our freedom, we have to do this correctly or we loose much more.

[OnMyWay]

What's new w/ u iM? Kind of quiet latley. Thought somebody ought to check on you. What's happening for the weekend?

[ironMan]

Hey OnMyWay!!

Sorry, just been so busy. I had my first solo Weds/Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sunday with my D. Went fine. We stayed busy and had a great time. I had some buddies over and prepared Easter dinner for us all.

I am sad sometimes .. but mostly feeling pretty good to have nutty WAW out of the house for the time being.

I've been busy finding a racing go kart to buy, doing my new martial art, and re-arranging the house a bt.

I will post more tomorrow as I've had many interesting interactions with WAW.

How are you OMW??

[OnMyWay]

Rearranging the house . . . That's one I've done, including installing new faucets and a dishwasher. WAW hated that I did all that work after she left. But, I feel better about the place, so gonna do floors next.

Yeah, post the good stuff! Let's hear it.