Would it be a bad idea to imply to my H that I am dating other people even though I don't really have any interest in dating? We have been separated for 3 months and he has a long distance girlfriend. I don't really want to play games, but it might peak his interest in me. Bad idea or not?
M: 36 H: 37 Married: 13 years Together: 17 years No kids Bomb Dropped: 6/10 (MLC, OW, ILYBNILWY) He Moved Out: 8/10
However--it is a good idea to be less predictable. Make sure you are taking good care of yourself--exercising, dressing attractively, doing things that interest you, other things that will peak his interest.
That's manipulation, and it will come back to bite you in the butt.
What I did was get really busy. My H and I were separated in house, so he had a clear view of my comings and goings. I'd get all gussied up, then go out. Sometimes it was just to a bookstore, other times it was to a Meetup group, others out with new friends. I tried to leave the house before he got home from work at least a couple of times a week so he could have the experience of coming home to an empty house where no one asked about his day.
I put my attention on really enjoying my life, and THAT got my H's attention. He knew he had no right to ask where I was or who I was with (though I would have told him if he'd had the courage to ask), but he'd beat around the bush, trying to get me to divulge things.
It put me in a good mood, which made H scratch his head. After all, HE looked miserable, and he thought I should be too. Made him realize he didn't know me half as well as he thought.
Don't play games, but DO get involved in things you enjoy. Don't sit around the house all mopey-like. That's totally unattractive.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I figured it was a bad idea. We are not living in the same house and he is so wrapped up in himself and the OW that he is not even contacting me anymore and I guess I wanted to do something that might get his attention.
I have been keeping myself very busy: going to the gym, second job for the holidays, starting a website, planning a winter vacation, doing things around my house, dressing nice, spending time with family but he doesn't see any of this.
I feel like I am doing all of the right things, but am not seeing any baby steps right now. Oh well, I guess time is on my side--in our state you have to be living apart for a year before filing for divorce so we still have 9 months to go.
M: 36 H: 37 Married: 13 years Together: 17 years No kids Bomb Dropped: 6/10 (MLC, OW, ILYBNILWY) He Moved Out: 8/10
