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#2095514 10/26/10 05:37 AM
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Hey there my DB buddies! Been a loooooong time!

Just thought I would pop back up and see what the peeps are up to!

I am doing okay...lost my job...which I didn't like very much and now am looking for another.

Life if going okay. The XH has decided that he cannot pay for the mortgage and the taxes to our house. It has been on the market for a year...sigh.

Feel like I am stuck with him for life despite the fact that we have no children...

Hope it is going better for all of you who are trying to re-biuld your lives.

Hugs,
Vali


Aug '06: H moved out
July '08: H had a kid with the OW
May 12 '09: emancipation day

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Valentine #2096194 10/27/10 04:54 AM
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Okay, so I have been divorced for about 1.5 years now.

My XH wants to informally changed the terms of our divorce i.e. he wants to quit paying stuff because he cannot 'subsidize' my living in OUR house because he has to support 'his family'.

Gee, wish I had a lot of sympathy. The way I see it, he left 'our' house to start said family BEFORE we were divorced. Now he wants to change stuff because it is not convenient for him?????

I THINK NOT.

HOnestly, what is he thinking???? That I am going to give into his every whim?

I waited for him for 2 VERY LONG years and when I found out his gf (now his wife) had had the first kid I was done.

I don't feel that it is my problem that he cannot pay the bills he agreed to pay for in our divorce decree...

Has anyone else had this happen to them? Would love to hear what happened and how it turned out.

Good night Peeps!
Vali


Aug '06: H moved out
July '08: H had a kid with the OW
May 12 '09: emancipation day

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Valentine #2096195 10/27/10 04:56 AM
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Oh and another thing: How is that clown 'subsidizing' my living in our house???? He only pays half the mortgage and half the taxes! He pays no other of my living expenses.

Good grief, the crap these guys come up with.

Unbelievable.



Aug '06: H moved out
July '08: H had a kid with the OW
May 12 '09: emancipation day

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Valentine #2097210 10/28/10 06:56 PM
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Hi Val! Is the response, "Well, sucks to be you." too antagonistic? Or tell him he's being "inconvenienced" now because it wasn't too convenient to you when he was out screwing around on you.

I'm glad you're not considering giving in to him.


Me38,H:38,S:7
Married:6/99
Bomb:7/04
Sep.:5/05
D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10
Piecing:11/09
H moved back:09/10
Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
Freckle6 #2098052 10/29/10 09:03 PM
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can you just laugh at him...

what a tool

figgeroni #2098109 10/29/10 11:44 PM
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I wouldn't even legitimize this with a response. If he starts to play around with it, a phone call from your lawyer can happen.

My ex cries poverty - but I know he is home from work at 3:15 every day. Drive a cab or something...

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It is probably a good idea to check with your L. Depending on your age and circumstances, the court may find that your XH has given you enough support to transition away from your married life and stop alimony. So, it may be in your best interest to work with XH.


Best,
Oldtimer
oldtimer #2098335 10/30/10 09:41 PM
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They've only been divorced a year....although, without kids, you make a point. No harm in checking with the L.

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It seems unlikely a court would continue any form of alimony:

"What about permanent alimony?
In order to qualify for spousal maintenance in Texas, the requesting party must meet one of four requirements:

The paying spouse was convicted of family violence within 2 years of the date of the filing of divorce;
The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and is unable to support him/herself through appropriate employment because of an incapacitating physical or mental disability;
The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and is the custodian of a child who requires substantial care and personal supervision, making it necessary for that spouse to remain at home with that child; or
The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and the requesting spouse lacks earning ability in the labor market adequate to provide support of minimal needs.
If the party qualifies for maintenance under (1) (3) or (4), the maximum term of maintenance is 3 years and the amount ordered cannot exceed 20% of the gross income of the paying spouse. If the party qualifies for maintenance under (2), the term can be indefinite."

From http://www.divorcenet.com/states/texas/txfaq01

More important, no one is legally or morally entitled to a life they would have had if a marriage worked out. People don't "owe" each other love or what flows from a shared life.


Best,
Oldtimer

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