I'm on my own now..I need some advice.

[Big birds friend]

Hi all. Thanks for the great posts everyone makes here. I feel pain in some that bring tears to my eyes. I feel joy in others like, wow. Good for you for moving on. I would like to join those ranks. I think it's because I know I'm not alone with this. I'm trying to be emotionally stable. I find I always react emotionally and I'm trying to change that.

I believe last night was the last talk/screaming match. I initiated the conversation because quite frankly, he goes about his life and doesn't talk to me at all so instead of waiting for an anvil to fall on my head..I brought it up.
Did he want to try mc. His reply was you'll never be the person I want you to. Nothing about him. He said he would go to mc to prove it was my fault but in the long run, the relationship is not going to work. I suggested some things from this site which he said..you're so sad listening to fake doctors and the internet about marital trouble. Then he compared me to a piece of wood..I was useless. At that point I got up and said we are now beyond mc. So the emotional abuse begins. I still live with this "thing". I need to get out quick.

The first step here is to find a job. I think I'll stay with my mom for a few days a week that way I can go to interviews and clear my head. Once thats done I can find a place near my mom so I can see her. I'm in a different city now and phone calls are not the greatest. She's a hugger and a "mom" in every way so I just feel better being around her. I know this would get me out of the dark place I'm in.

Tonight I'm going to the library for the first time since I was a teenager. I'm really excited about this so you can tell how damaged I am. lol. It's a start. Every night I stay in my room alone and watch television or chat on thecomputer or listen to tunes but I really just need to go outside.

Should I be seeking the advice of a lawyer?
We don't own anything together and have separate banks.
No kids.
The only thing I worry about is his pension and his benefits.
I have no financial security right now. My pension will be nothing when I retire at this point. Since I'm out of work now, he has the only car. I can't see a dentist or buy prescriptions without his benefits which are 100%.
He's been putting away for our retirement and his pension would be 4X mine. He was always so excited to be having a good amount of money when we retire to travel and such.

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for listening.

[Bridgestone]

Hi BBF
Sorry you find yourself here. If he is emotionally abusing, then get yourself out.

I think you have thought of a few of the crucial things for now... take care of yourself financially. S

I would highly advise seeing a laywer to determine what your rights are that will help provide some financial security in this unstable time. Even if you are the one that is "done", you still have rights to certain assets.

the absolute ONE Best piece of advice I received here about the business side of the divorce was.. know what you will receive from a judge if the case goes to court and don't (DO NOT) settle for less.

Information will help you know what your options are and how to plan from here forward.

I hope you enjoy the library visit.. good for you for rediscovering your passions!

Peace
Bridge