What am I supposed to do???

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I don't want to make my husband see the kids but what am I supposed to do when the kids are crying for him.

You are supposed to lead them through it, Tay Tay.

Not easy, by any stretch, I know. But that is what you must do. Your family needs a hero right now, Tay, and unfortunately, that ain't your husband.

So it gets to be you.

Puppy

[soleil]

I was at the grocery store today and out of nowhere my daughter said "mommy I miss daddy when is he coming over". I told her the truth that I did not know. It is so sad.

That is sad. And I am sorry your H is being a total d-ck right now. But you need to hold your head up high for yourself and more importantly your kids right now. They need to see their mom strong in the face of adversity while daddy's off God-knows-where. Sorry to hear of your sitch, Tay. I know it's hard but each day brings you closer to something better. If he wants to be dismissive of his kids, that's his poor choice.

Have you seen a L?

[Tay Tay]

Puppy Dog Tails-I am getting stronger emotionally everyday so I know I am ready to be the hero for the kids. Thank you so much for your advice. You are always straight and to the point and I love that about you.

soleil-Thank you for your encouragement...I really need it. I am trusting in the fact that one day this will all be better and I know it will. I have not seen a lawyer yet. Do you mean in regards to divorce or custody?

[sandi2]

As a mom I bet you've learn that you could do a lot of stuff you never thought you could, right? Strange how we do stand in the storm when our babies need help.

I know by the way you write that you are a much stronger person than you give yourself credit. You can be that hero for your child, and then when you are in a place by yourself...you can cry, scream, or tear something up. It is okay to allow yourself to have a fit (once in a while) . Sometimes, you may not want to feel strong....but you will be ...for your little girl.

You have a special group here on the board and they will give you support....especially when you are having one of those "weak" times. Just stick with us, okay? I think you've done a great job.

[KellBell0820]

Thanks for the advice. I don't want to make my husband see the kids but what am I supposed to do when the kids are crying for him. I was at the grocery store today and out of nowhere my daughter said "mommy I miss daddy when is he coming over". I told her the truth that I did not know. It is so sad.

Tay, it's definitely hard. I have a slight advantage when it comes to my D asking about daddy (and her brothers). But it still hurts like hell to know that he's not even calling her. Like Sandi said, it's amazing how strong we become when it comes to our babies. Never knew I could hold it together completely, just to keep from her catching on that this whole situation isn't the normal "daddy's back at work" that she's used to.

[Tay Tay]

sandi2-I have definitely learned that I am stronger than I ever thought. I always said that I would never live by myself without another adult. I have been doing it for 6 months though. I have not been scared or anything. I have learned to come to the board when I need help and I am grateful that you guys are here. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

KellBell0820-I never had an idea either that I could deal with this type of trauma. Thanks to God and my kids and this board I am making it.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

As a mom I bet you've learn that you could do a lot of stuff you never thought you could, right? Strange how we do stand in the storm when our babies need help.

Yep. I call it . . .


Mamabear.


Puppy

[Tay Tay]

Puppy Dog Tails-Yes I am a mamabear.

My 6 year old daughter was in her bedroom and I heard her moving around. I asked her what was she doing. She brought a picture in to me and said that the picture was her and her dad holding hands and walking in the grass. She said "Mommy I feel like it is my fault that daddy is not home because I am always bad". She said "I feel like daddy is never coming home". She said "I pray and pray and I am being patient but God is not bringing him home". She said" Daddy is hanging out with his friends and he doesn't miss us". She went on to say "I have been having bad dreams ever since daddy left and if he comes back the dreams will stop". She said "I don't think we can make it without daddy". I held my baby in my arms and told her that we are and can make it without her daddy. I told her that it is not her fault that her dad left. I told her to never feel like that. I told her that I don't know if he will come home but we are still a family and she always has me. It is so funny because she said "when it is daddy's birthday I will let him have fun with his friends". Today is my husband birthday September 4th. I said "Today is daddy's birthday". She looked at me and said "for real". I told her yes and she got a big smile on her face and said that she is going to make him a gift. I told her to wait until she wakes up in the morning since it is 1:58AM The sad thing is I don't know when she is going to see her dad to give it to him.

First it was my 7 year old son missing his dad alot. Now my 6 year old daughter is really feeling it. I have been strong in front of them though. I have not cried or been sad. I have to be honest I am starting to really hate my husband. How can he do this to his 4 kids? It would be different if he even called but he does not do that. I want to protect my kids from him and I am feeling at the moment like I don't care if he comes back around. I don't want him to come and see the kids then don't come or call again for a month. I feel like okay you don't want to be around us then F*** off and leave us alone forever. Those are my babies that I carried in my womb for 9 months. I had C-sections with all of them and with my last baby I almost died. I have to protect them from the foolishness and that is what there dad is right now. He left me and not my babies. I told him that I would leave when he comes over so he can't use that "I don't want to be around you excuse". My 4 babies are the best thing that ever happened to me...my babies not my husband so I have to look out for them. I am at the point where I don't care if he is in there life or not. But how am I supposed to teach my son how to be a man. I know I can do it though because his father is not an good example of one. Thank you guys for listening I really don't have anyone else to talk to about it.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Folks, I think she's got the "Mamabear" thing down now.


Puppy

[didthehurt]

Tay prayer up for you today...