Ok, need everyones input. H has always been unable to talk about his emotions, or have emotional talks, the bomb was in person, but the moving out email abd subsequent emails were how things got conveyed emotionally.
So every now and then we talk about songs and music. A little while ago he asked me if I've heard the 'vanilla twiglight' song. The lyrics are about one person missing another.And I couldnt help thinking he was connecting with the song lyrics. So my gut was thinking he wanted me to maybe listen to the lyrics to get how hes feeling. But i forgot about it, and dismessed it as wishful thinking. Then the other day he asked me if I've heard the new Eminem song, so I said no. Then yesterday I gave him some of my latest music, and while talking about it, he said I must listen to the eminem song and tell him what I think.
The eminem song is about 2 people falling out, and one wanting back in.
Is he trying to communicate via song lyrics? My imagination? I usually listen to my gut with these things, but my gut is clouded with wishful thinking...what do you all think?
Just gonna stand there And watch me burn But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts Just gonna stand there And hear me cry But that's alright Because I love The way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now there's a steel knife In my windpipe I can't breathe But I still fight While I can fight As long as the wrong feels right It's like I'm in flight High of a love Drunk from the hate It's like I'm huffing paint And I love it the more that I suffer I sufficate And right before im about to drown She resuscitates me She [censored] hates me And I love it Wait Where you going I'm leaving you No you ain't Come back We're running right back Here we go again It's so insane Cause when it's going good It's going great I'm Superman With the wind in his bag She's Lois Lane But when it's bad It's awful I feel so ashamed I snap Who's that dude I don't even know his name I laid hands on her I'll never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength
Just gonna stand there And watch me burn But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts Just gonna stand there And hear me cry But that's alright Because I love The way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
You ever love somebody so much You can barely breathe When you're with them You meet And neither one of you Even know what hit 'em Got that warm fuzzy feeling Yeah them chills Used to get 'em Now you're getting [censored] sick Of looking at 'em You swore you've never hit 'em Never do nothing to hurt 'em Now you're in each other's face Spewing venom And these words When you spit 'em You push Pull each other's hair Scratch, claw, bit 'em Throw 'em down Eminem Love The Way You Lie lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com.com/eminem-love-the-way-you-lie-lyrics.html Pin 'em So lost in the moments When you're in 'em It's the rage that took over It controls you both So they say it's best To go your separate ways Guess that they don't know ya Cause today That was yesterday Yesterday is over It's a different day Sound like broken records Playin' over But you promised her Next time you'll show restraint You don't get another chance Life is no Nintendo game But you lied again Now you get to watch her leave Out the window Guess that's why they call it window pane
Just gonna stand there And watch me burn But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts Just gonna stand there And hear me cry But that's alright Because I love The way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
Now I know we said things Did things That we didn't mean And we fall back Into the same patterns Same routine But your temper's just as bad As mine is You're the same as me But when it comes to love You're just as blinded Baby please come back It wasn't you Baby it was me Maybe our relationship Isn't as crazy as it seems Maybe that's what happens When a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much To walk away though Come inside Pick up your bags off the sidewalk Don't you hear sincerity In my voice when I talk Told you this is my fault Look me in the eyeball Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist At the dry wall Next time There will be no next time I apologize Even though I know it's lies I'm tired of the games I just want her back I know I'm a liar If she ever tries to [censored] leave again I'mma tie her to the bed And set the house on fire
Just gonna stand there And watch me burn But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts Just gonna stand there And hear me cry But that's alright Because I love The way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
Pie - First, I'm no Eminem fan, in the least. But, I can tell you my H did the same thing 8 years ago. He sent me a song that still brings tears to my eyes today when I hear it on the radio. To say how sorry he was. So maybe your husband is trying to tell you through music/lyrics how he feels. That wouldn't be so surprising.
But, Pie, it's a song, not a committment. If it helps you get through the day and keep a flame of hope alive in your heart than it's worth every word. Just don't put too much expectation into it.
Is he trying to communicate via song lyrics? My imagination? I usually listen to my gut with these things, but my gut is clouded with wishful thinking...what do you all think?
You've got to put a stop to this.
You can't hang on their words, especially when they are so dishonest. You can't try to get in their head and read their mind. You can't find logic in this crazy mess. It's gone, and so are they.
You have to watch their actions, and even then, you have to do it in a way as to where you aren't viewing them through rose colored glases. By that I mean, take a step back and stop looking for things like this. Stop trying to get in his head. Not everything he says and does is going to be about you or your old relationship.
I'll tell you what I've seen and had happen.
They love to keep you on a string. Doing exactly what you are doing right now. They'll do things like this and then pull the rug out from under you at break neck speed when you get too close. This will happen over and over if you choose to play their game.
You can't figure him out. HE can't figure himself out.
I hope you place your focus back on you. I hope you work hard to stop trying to read his mind.
Pie I would agree with Punkin that it is hard to know what the brain of your childlike husband is thinking from one minute to the next.
Until they work there way thru the crisis they can say and do the craziest things.
Has anyone told you to believe none of what they say and 50% of what they do.
Where do you think this song fits into that category?
Again I will ask you to try to stick to one thread. I personally had to find your old thread to read what was written before I answered. I know its a new topic and that you are in a hurry for an answer but most of us read all the threads. You can change your title in the middle of a thread if you wish to give it some urgency.
Last edited by LanceSijan; 08/11/1012:43 PM. Reason: spelling
They love to keep you on a string. Doing exactly what you are doing right now. They'll do things like this and then pull the rug out from under you at break neck speed when you get too close. This will happen over and over if you choose to play their game.
trapt is so right. I learned this the hard way. I read meaning into so many things ... and maybe at the time it struck a chord for him, maybe not. But I know at the end of the day I let myself have expectations and lost focus on doing my own work. It took me a while to figure it out, but I did. And so can you.
Refocus on you.
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Sorry sweetie but I am not going to sugar coat this�
IMO � He is fuc*ing with your head and your emotions.
Quote:
So my gut was thinking he wanted me to maybe listen to the lyrics to get how hes feeling.
This is how YOU FEEL. It is your projection of what YOU want. How he feels could be very different. Do you think he loves you?
Do you think that he knows you? If the answer is YES � then trust me�he will not give you subtle hints � if he wants you back He will tell you.
Quote:
but my gut is clouded with wishful thinking...what do you all think?
I think your RIGHT! Oh�FTR I love this ememin song. Let my dissect it from my perspective�.
Quote:
Just gonna stand there And watch me burn
Think about this ^^^^ for a sec. �Stand there and watch me burn�. Let me ask you a question. What does that say about how he may be feeling about YOU now? I am not sure about you but I sure as hell DO not want to be with someone right now who wants to �watch me burn�.
Quote:
But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts
Ah�.my favorite line of the song! That�s right�It�s alright that you can watch me burn cause I can take it! I will be stronger. I will and can do this! I will not be defeated. I may stumble and fall but I will NOT be defeated.
Quote:
Just gonna stand there And hear me cry
Another one�yep�the MLCer will stand there and watch you cry � ya gotta believe that. They have emotionally detached � you have not -at least not yet. They are confused that much I agree with, so they want to keep you around just in case they may change their mind. So the question for PIE is�.putting aside the FEAR that you may have right now, putting aside the impact this will have on your family, putting aside the financial impact this may have, does PIE want to fight and give everything she has for the possibility of being the second option? Think about that for a sec. Or does PIE want to be the first option. Does PIE want to be the person that your H comes running back to when he finally realizes (if he ever does) what he is giving up? If the latter then how do you get there? You get there by focusing on YOU. You get there by taking a step outside of his madness, outside of his freaking confusion, outside of his Issue and to the biggest step of your life. You let go.
Quote:
But that's alright Because I love The way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
What is that we say about an MLCER? Never believe what they say.
Quote:
I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now there's a steel knife In my windpipe I can't breathe
Ah�the pain of rejection that we the LBS go thru. The pain can be unbearable at time. It really can consume you. It can paralyze you. It can make YOU do, agree to or commit to things that really YOU do not want to do. The pain PIE is what sometimes keeps us stuck. The pain PIE is what sometime makes us willing to give up WHO we are and what we need. The pain PIE�will go away one day! So when does PIE want the pain to go away?
Quote:
But I still fight While I can fight
Yep � that is right girl�you keep fightin�not for your H � NO for YOU. Once you save YOU, maybe your H will notice and by then have his head out of his as*.
Pie � your challenge if you choose to accept it is it (mission impossible music playing in the backround)�is can PIE began to really think about PIE and PIE only? Can Pie stand up and say that she no longer wants to sit on the freight train called �let his actions drive me crazy�?
PIE, this is really hard sh*t and I wish I could tell you that it get better in a week or two � it doesn�t. It gets better when YOU decide to make it better. It get�s better when PIE begins to think about PIE first and foremost. Now that may sound selfish. I know. Know what? Who is going to take care of PIE in the future? You know the answer to that.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
It took me a long time to realize that I would not want a man who could not express or communicate his feelings.
Why would you want to keep GUESSING what he wants.
Assuming his thoughts and needs.
This will only lead to insanity.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Wow, everyone! Thank you, at the end of the day you've all put me back on track! PIE will think about PIE for now. And unless H has sopmething very clear to SAY, PIE will continue to focus on PIE. Thanks Eric
Sorry Lance, smack on knuckles for bad thread etiquette...wont do it again
That's what everyone is here for, encouragement and support. Pie, you've been posting here such a short time - I count LBS months as 1 month = 1 year in terms of "age". You can't be expected to know all the rules and regs. No smack on the knuckles, just twenty lashes with a wet noodle.
