My wife and I have been legally separated for four months, she lives with her parents and I bought her out of the house. We have been battling for a year over finances. I said I wanted to work on M but she was unwilling.
Quote:
The first post I wrote one year ago: I noticed new sexy undies my wife had purchased after she said "I love you but I am not in love with you" (not sure sex is involved but through FB discovered new man).
Quote:
Many have told me before a wife leaves and becomes the WAW more than likely she has someone else lined up or is involved emotionally. This looks like the case now with her co worker.
Wife had taken my girls 8 and 5 to her parents cabin for three days, on the third day I picked them up and took them to my patents cabin for three days. I asked the girls who was there, they said my wife's brothers and Aunts and uncle were there for the three days and the girls said " moms friend she works with (male) and his two children. I nearly threw up. I laterally had to pull over on the side of the road and gained my composite. It was not as if she asked him as a friend to come for the day..... but stay for three days. Once I picked the girls up she went back to her parents cabin and stayed for three more days with the OM and his two children.
I did not want to keep asking the girls questions, it killed me. She must have been having a relationship with her co worker for a long time for her to invite him of such an extended period. I told my parents and they said now wonder she was unwilling to go to counseling.
I think she may have known this guy for many years thru work and perhaps dated before I came into the picture.
Never mind I have not slept for days... We are not divorced, separated only four months and she is introducing this guy his children to her hole family. My wife must know my girls will be telling me about him.
What do I do please help
1) Confront her and say I have known for a long time there was someone else?? 2) Not say anything. My two sister in-laws said " what she douse is non of our business but to be introducing my girls to this guy is way to soon"
I was that stupid to think she wanted space to figure things out. Most say once they ask for space a relationship has started elesware. I have no idea how to handle this. The girls said my wife her friend and the four kids would go to the beach each day. I must have played that sinario over in my heard a million times.
Oh man, that stinks. I can imagine how you feel! The thought of the OW around my kids makes my blood boil.
In my situation, I've been gathering as much info on the OW as possible, looking for dirt. Just in case it's possible to legally prevent her from being around the kids- maybe in the custody ruling.
Have you been able to find anything unsavoury about this man? If he's an upstanding citizen that route may be out, though.
For now, I wouldn't say anything.
Me-29 H- 28 Together for 6.5 years 2 kids, ages 9 and 5 D-Day: July 15, 2010.
They are co workers and he is a lawyer. He has two kids of his own. She invited him, his kids for a few days at the cabin with her family... This is what stings. Wife just sent me a e-mail " I hope your holiday with your family was pleasent. I want to so bad e-mail her back and ask her how her family liked the new guy, as everyone is aware she is still married.
I'm so, so sorry. At least you know he probably isn't a pedo or a criminal- that's one "upside". He's probably not the worst person she could've brought around the kids, although I know that's no consolation.
Me-29 H- 28 Together for 6.5 years 2 kids, ages 9 and 5 D-Day: July 15, 2010.
What type of person would put themselves in that situation, you would think a lawyer has a brain. Even if I found a girl who I was very attracted to asked me to come to a cabin with my children to stay and socialize with her hole family and her kids are you out of your mind. No way not a chance in hell. Unless they are friends and this was a plutonic weekend...ok who am I kidding. Maybe my wife is not telling him the truth, he may not even know we have been separated for a meer 4 months. Anyone want to guess what is going on and why she brought him and his kids to the cabin?????
I had a good conversation last night with my Aunt. I gave her the low down of what want down last weekend where my wife took our girls and want to the summer cabin with a male (friend) co worker and his two kids. One thing that hurt was the fact my wifes family was there as well. We all know it was a coming out party, at least in my mind. My Aunt said listen, you have to understand your wife is searching for something you were not giving her for a long time. You (I) have lots of family support and perhaps your wife does not. Talking to her without blame or anger is the approach to take. Ask Wife: How did you tell the girls, how was there reaction. Did you notice anything emotionally different with the girls ( especially my oldest) My Aunt said to ask my oldest if she has any questions about mom’s friend, Keep it generic and light. You (I) can’t change the direction she is going….. bottom line.
You can't change the direction she is going, but you may be able to "lead". Of course you will have to start a path that she will take interest in. Build up this new path, something that is interesting and perhaps it will draw the wife back in. If it does not draw the wife in, it will be good for you and should attract others.
Also some of these WAS's may be depressed and not even know it. Often times a sign of depression is anger. We LBS's know that the WAS usually will direct anger towards us. This anger may be due to an internal guilt, and is a protection mechanism.
I'm thinking getting on a path of being "generally attractive" for whatever type you tend to attract is a good idea. Also, like I was saying setting up your life so that it is varied and interesting may draw the wife back in, it will be something new and interesting for her to come over and see what the hell you are doing - why aren't you complaining any more, etc.
That's true, he may not know that you're recently separated. She may have told him dreadful and untrue stories about you. Or, quite possibly, he knows what the situation is and just doesn't care.
Me-29 H- 28 Together for 6.5 years 2 kids, ages 9 and 5 D-Day: July 15, 2010.
Also some of these WAS's may be depressed and not even know it. Often times a sign of depression is anger. We LBS's know that the WAS usually will direct anger towards us. This anger may be due to an internal guilt, and is a protection mechanism.
I see said the bland man. The other day I was looking into putting my oldest daughter into a dance class. I e-mailed the wife and said I had phoned around to see if there were any openings I did find one class but had to put daughter on a wait list.
Wife says “ In the future, I would like to be kept informed before you start booking her dance classes. I am sure you can understand that.” I said I was just looking into it. Wife said “And you have her on a waiting list so that’s more than just looking into it.” Grrrr A sign of anger ???? perhaps. To tell you the truth it is nice to get an emotion out of her as she has been pulse dead for months. Thanks for the reply your words give me something to think about besides OM Stitch
he may not know that you're recently separated. She may have told him dreadful and untrue stories about you. Or, quite possibly, he knows what the situation is and just doesn't care.
You would think if wife told OM that she has been newly separated he would not have gone to the cabin with his kids for 5 days. The guilt would have made it a long five days.
What do you think wifes parents, brothers, aunt and uncle thinking bring this OM ( friend from work ) around. Wifes parents had told both of us “ it is not all about you two anymore, the kids are priority number one “ Work on the R.
In the last year wife had a cousin finalize a nasty divorce from her husband. Funny thing was cousin already had a OM all lined up in a EA / PA long before that. Cousin must told wife how green the grass was on the other side. Last time I talked to cousin she looked happy all right ( NOT!!!)
Quote:
Or, quite possibly, he knows what the situation is and just doesn't care.
