Talk to the social worker.. social workers are usually quite well versed in family law and the dynamics of family disputes... and they don't charge 500 an hour lol
You have been LT for over six years and have two kids, this does establish a strong case for you from my reading here...
If you were less than three years and had no children it would be a much different case for you...
Again you really do want to consult at least three different lawyers here...
I wouldn't even wait for a legal aid appointment... Most lawyers will consult with you for an hour for free... you can get some input and collect some business cards at that time too...
That's the big problem- my name is not on the home. That was a stupid move on my part. However, we've only owned the home for 2 years, so there isn't much equity in it, and Mr. RT paid the mortgage.
All I really want from the house is the money my folks contributed when we bought it. About $10K. There is a pretty clear paper trail showing what money came from them and where it went.
I just checked out a big stack of the library's law books, and they talk about the concept of 'unjust enrichment'. This area of law is tricky, but seems to be designed for my situation. I'm thinking that we will be able to recover that money (hopefully), especially since there's no way that Mr. RT or his extended family can afford a lawyer.
Mr. RT was also 'unjustly enriched' by my contributions to the household in the form of labour, childcare, and services. I left my career to follow his. That may entitle me to some share of any profit to be made from the sale, although I'm fairly certain there isn't much profit to be made, especially if Mr. RT has to reimburse my folks.
Me-29 H- 28 Together for 6.5 years 2 kids, ages 9 and 5 D-Day: July 15, 2010.
Yup... lots of pressure from a lot of angles... I can't see him pursuing the affair in a cramped home full of noisy kids...
Just don't take him back immediately.. set your boundaries and set the wall high
1. No contact agreement 2. Full transparency 3. Family therapy twice a week 4. All contact with OW is ended completely
Long term you want to get yourself in a better position there.. get your name on the home etc...
I think with a cramped home, screaming kids in his ear, a lawyer after him, and his work padre harassing him he's lot a lot of pressure to deal with not to mention whatever you posted on facebook...
Keep the ball rolling and he may fold
Even if you don't want him back you can get him to TRY to come back... And in my opinion ALYWAYS reject his first offer
I want to end the affair- or at least make it as stressful and miserable as humanly possible.
A week ago, I wanted him back. Now, I'm about 99% certain that I don't want him back. I can do better. I'm pretending that I do on Facebook just to make him look like a douchebag in front of his 350+ friends and family members. I don't believe he's capable of making the changes he'd need to make for me to ever trust him again. But it would be nice to ruin the fun of the affair, just for spite.
Re-reading the Facebook messages between those two snakes really hardened my heart.
Last edited by RoughTime; 08/03/1011:33 PM.
Me-29 H- 28 Together for 6.5 years 2 kids, ages 9 and 5 D-Day: July 15, 2010.
My advice RT is to NOT make any decisions about that yet.
Your first priority is to get financial protection and support for you and your kids.. addictions like this can be fierce and destructive and you do NOT want to be one of your H's casualties...
After you have financials and some security sorted out then you can make a more level headed decision about the marriage.. its a big decision that will affect your children also...
Whether you can trust him or not isn't the only issue, its can he be a better father IN the marriage or OUT of it?
Kids growing up with single moms have a rough road ahead of them.. if they will be better off that's great but the statistics are showing this is not the case..
He was definately a better father IN the marriage. Took the kids swimming every day, coached my son's soccer team, etc. Now, he seems to have completely discarded the kids- hasn't seen them in a week, really, and hasn't asked to see them. He didn't even show up to coach the team at the game last night.
I was highly tempted to drive over to OW's house and chew him out over that, but resisted the urge and came home instead.
Me-29 H- 28 Together for 6.5 years 2 kids, ages 9 and 5 D-Day: July 15, 2010.
