Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it

[Gardener]

wii,
I feel for you buddy. Posters have zeroed in on that $10k, but I zeroed in on the word before it: "another."
Is there anyway you can have your L's make an acceptable offer and stop this $ hemhorrhaging? (I know, the usual L answer is NO.")

Like the Bard suggested: First, kill all the lawyers.

Peace,

[ImprovedRomeo]

Thanks guys!

Well look what she wrote back: "Yah, I found that out when I called the insurance this morning and they said that I no longer had coverage with them. Thanks for the heads-up."

Nice! And then I see people that don't pay or do what they're legally asked to do.

In all fairness I can understand from her pov that she's upset but the new insurance took effect today! Sep 1st! I'd already left the new ins card for her at DD's school. She knew the ins was changing months ago and if it was so important why did she not ask when it'll take effect. It's always someone else's fault.

I'll respond to the L stuff when I've had some time to clear my mind because the legal stuff seriously feels overwhelming.

Got a call during lunch today from an old friend from NorCal his wife's leaving him...sigh! I swear there's something in the water. This can't be normal. He's apparently been posting here in the Newcomer's section but I didn't ask his name or thread I don't want to intrude. This is his place to safely share things anonymously. So I talked to him for almost an hour and he was very grateful and told me that I resonated the advice he's been getting here already and it was good to hear it in layman's terms and some concrete things he can do to take control of his life. Among other things he said he's been trying to go to the gym but can't, he doesn't know what to do. I told him he needs to build a routine or structure so he already knows what needs to happen that day or week as opposed to waking up depressed and trying to figure out what to do to keep busy. Been there done that. It's weird to see one of my good and close friends go through this.

And the WASs! I swear! they must follow the same script. In fact, I'm convinced they're a cult, they meet in secrecy, take oaths, sacrifice baby kittens, hum and sway in symmetry then spread out into the world and wreak havoc.

[ImprovedRomeo]

BTW, if it's any of you guys sending me the friendship requests on FB and your screenname doesn't match please let me know because I'd love to connect with you guys though I'm not accepting anonymous requests.

[newmama]

so I talked to the head honcho there and asked him to reevaluate how they're charging me because the case has barely made any progress and so far everything's gone in her favor.

GOOD FOR YOU, Romeo! Even if you don't get anywhere, at least you remembered that YOU are paying THEM and THEY aren't doing a very good job so far...therefore, you have the right to expect performance if you are going to give more money!!

The other thing I wanted to hone in on was how you noted that your stbxw seems to blame others...like how it was not her fault that she didn't check on insurance! Insurance was the FIRST thing that I discussed with stbxh as he did with me and we both squared that away. Isn't it most people's #1 concern? So if she was so lax about it, it seems kind of "airhead" of her to be so...and her own damn fault.


Oh and sorry about the fizzled dating thing. There will be other women and you know this,of course! Just wanted to say it :-)

[ImprovedRomeo]

Thanks NM.

I'm just really upset right now because she just sent me DD's wellness checkup results. She didn't bother to inform me that she had it scheduled! Her 6th year checkup and I missed it. And DD saw that I wasn't there. I'm resisting sending her an email right now as it won't be very nice.

[ClingingToHope]

I'd say let it go. There'll be moments that are only yours. You're doing great. I wish I had your sense of humor about things.

[ImprovedRomeo]

"Thanks for the paperwork but in the future I expect advance notice on anything related to DD"

That's what I'm sending but going to sleep on it.

[ImprovedRomeo]

"Regarding the insurance stuff. You knew about the change months ago. The new ins cards came to me on Mon afternoon. The change took effect on Wed i.e. Sep 1st. You had the new card on Sep 1st.

Thanks for the checkup paperwork but in the future I expect advance notice on DD's checkups or anything else relating to her for that matter.

Also, in the future please don't call my cell phone unless it's related to DD or an emergency."

[soleil]

Also, in the future please don't call my cell phone unless it's related to DD or an emergency."

Zing!

[Nikita Belle]

If you haven't already sent it, a few suggestions, just to take some of the emotion out of it:

"Regarding the insurance stuff. You knew about the change months ago. I sent you an email about the change on [x date]. The new ins cards came to me on Mon afternoon. The change took effect on Wed i.e. Sep 1st. which was the date you received the card. You had the new card on Sep 1st.

Thanks for the checkup paperwork but in the future I expect advance notice on DD's checkups or anything else relating to her for that matter. [you have 50/50 legal custody, right? I would mention that here- e.g., ]"according to our 50/50 legal custody agreement, I need reasonable notice in advance for anything medical related, such as upcoming appointments, school meetings or events, and anything else concerning DD. "

Also, in the future please don't call my cell phone unless it's related to DD or an emergency."

I think that last is too much emotion involved- it lets her know she got to you. I would say, if DD is with her and you get a call, pick up the phone assuming she needs you ASAP. If DD is with you, let it go to vmail then check it as soon as you can to see what she wanted.