I will Survive.

[hope2wrkitout]

Don't panic. H did the exact same thing to me. You have the right to fight the petition. Whatever reason he is giving for the divorce you have the right to refute that. It doesn't mean the divorce won't happen, but it will certainly buy you some time. Also, you can ask the courts for a continuance to get time to get your own legal representation. Go online and research, research, reasearch. Check the laws in your state and check out legal blogs and even this board to see what you should be asking for.

He is probably controling because some idiot is behind the scene trying to convince him that you will try to take him for a ride. Nevermind, everything he is putting you through.

[Shelby]

Thanks BA.

Funny how I said when we WERE married, unfortunetaly we still are and this thing is only just starting.

I did do that, opened up a checking account of my own, unfortunetaly it will be another week before I get paid and I am sure it will still go into the joint at least one more time.

He is being so unreasonable and he just won't see it or refuses too.

[Virtually_Handsome]

He knows exactly what he is doing.

If your paycheck goes to the joint account, perhaps you'll be able to get it out before he does. It's worth a try.

[Shelby]

I am just feeling really down right now, besides losing my husband and marraige, I am so scared of losing my health insurance, as a 2 1/2 year breast cancer survivor, I am so scared I will be losing his health insuance too.

I am meeting with 2 lawyers next week to hopefully get some answers and pick one of them, in the mean time I have been looking it up on the internet, and it doesn't look good, as far as getting him to keep me on his.

I can't wait for next week to get here, so I can get some answers and hopefully some HOPE.

[Shelby]

The more I think about it the more the more I am beginning to think there maybe a OW.

I quess one of the main things is he refuses to give me an address of where he is living at now.

At this point does it even matter ? Should I look into to try to find out ? It will hurt in that it is just something else he has been lying about. But it does not change anything personally the marraige is over.

Should I just forget about the possibility and keep moving forward in my own life with my Girls ?

[Virtually_Handsome]

My opinion is that if it won't change anything, there's no reason to look. In the end, you will find out, but why go looking for hurt?

(((((((Shelby)))))))

[cat03]

He is probably controling because some idiot is behind the scene trying to convince him that you will try to take him for a ride. Nevermind, everything he is putting you through.

oh yes! later i learned how his coworkers told him to do this and that, the ones that were screwed over a D, etc etc, they think the Ws will go for the jugular... it's truly pathetic.I too got no notice, x just moved out and the next week I got papers, and he cleaned our bank accounts...I know how you feel, I'm sorry honey... From now on do things with you and girls in mind, never mind what he wants... you are still processing things, so you tell him that you are not ready to deal with this legal stuff (buy time to check with your lawyer and to gather your wits)... that because of the the chichen sh@t way he went about this you are just not ready and he's just going to have sit and wait.

Doesn't matter if your name wasnt in the house, you still should get benefits, and contact your employer telling him that the direct deposit should be stopped and they should give you a paper check.

[Shelby]

cat03 thanks for responding.

I quess that was/is the hardest part that he didnt ave the nerve to tell me he saw a lawyer and signed papers and to expect that. To have me served at work while he was still living here every day is so cowardly. I just don't get where he is coming from, but I guess I don't need to worry about that anymore.

I actually feel pretty good about everything today. I really think I will be in a better place once all this hard stuff is over, I know there will be some rough days , months ahead. but today I feel good,so I am going to enjoy today.

Is Mother who I am very lose to asked me how I was yesterday, I said fine, that it is just a very confusing time....Did I really make his life soooo miserable that he had to leave in the way he did ? and He would rather live poor than live in his home with his Family that loved him ?

I may never understand the things he has done and the reasons, but this is what he wanted and some day he will look back and see all the mistakes he has made.

[courageous wife]

(((Shelby)))

I am so sorry to read what you are going through. I am a 2yr breast cancer survivor and my H also blindsided me with D papers, but I got mine in the mail!

IF your H has left the home...In my state, there is a number you can call about getting child support. I don't know where you are at but you need to check and see if they have something like that...they will get on it immediately (or as fast a state government moves!)

I did retain an L who talked me into counter filing. The reason for this is that my H was having an A and gave me an STD plus, health ins, as you know, for us is a ridiculous amount and my job does not offer itso I will be asking for extra support in addition to child support. We are also asking that H pay for any of my legal fees. Counter filing allows a court date to be set and a judge to decide everything. It also allows me, if for some reason my H decides to withdraw the D papers, to go ahead and file IF I want to.

First and foremost...check on that child support and get that going!

[Shelby]

Thanks Courageous wife and congratulations on being a 2yr survivor. I will be a 3 year survivor in September.

Maybe our Husbands just couldnt deal with the Breast cancer baggage ? I may never know what made him check out.

That is one of the things I am most worried about, the Health insurance, I only work part time, so they do not offer me health benefits.

I am meeting with a lawyer on Thursday, FINALLY. Can't wait to finally get some answers and get some child support. I still only have $120 in the account since he took the rest out.

Thanks again, Shelby