Miss H, if he doesn't pay, he will go to jail. He went into court and lied, I am amazed the judge didn't throw him in jail, but I guess the Judge wanted you to have your money. If he doesn't pay up, he will not be nice to XH next time. He is just going to have to buck up and pay everything, the court isn't going to believe a word he says.
Absolutely he will be held in contempt if he doesn't pay. It is a court order, not some type of schoolyard agreement that can be ignored. Judges do not like it when they defendants think they are naive or try to make fools of them.
Miss H, you should call her back and tell her that if her grandson doesn't pay you the money he owes you, he is MAKING A VERY BIG MISTAKE. Don't take any crap off those people. No matter what people do, their family will uphold them, even if kids or others suffer. I would also DARE HER to ever call me again.
BH, it's not even worth it. I'm already over it. No matter what I say they are just going to take his side. That's why I ended the phone conversation quickly. I know what my intentions are. I will do anything to protect my kids.
You should expect nothing less from his family. Of course he has told all of them just that - "Now she is trying to have me thrown in jail." Conveniently leaving out of course that he has continually failed to support his children financially and to give to you the support ordered by court.
I still think fondly of some of my ex in-laws. But I have a relationship with none of them. It is simply a very difficult thing to manage. They cannot help but support their own blood, and eventually that means that they must reject us.
You have grown emotionally, spiritually, and become a strong woman and mother. Do not allow the misguided thoughts of some to throw you off kilter. They have not walked in your shoes, and they may not even see the sickness and madness that their family member is still walking in.
Focus on the good in your life. Your own family is strong and loves and cares for you and the children. They are your rock right now and they will see that you are not left alone or wanting.
Allow your ex meanwhile to travel this road of deceit and manipulation. Though it sometimes takes time, I am still convinced that such a life eventually is shown for just what it is.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Ms. H, I agree, don't buy into his family's crap. They all want to protect the poor little abused boy from the grown woman who is trying to protect her children and herself for the duration.
As for him paying the money, he better think twice about not doing it. The judicial system will catch up to him and he'll have no one to blame but himself.
Please try to enjoy the weekend and do not allow his family to push your buttons.....they are all feeding off of the crap he has told them. One day, the curtain will be pulled back and they will see the light.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You did the right thing to hang-up.....tho I can see BH's side, me Im a go for the throat kinda person too. But you would just get mired in all that family blood. They are all pretty dysfunctional except for one sister i guess? Wasnt it grandmother who wasnt "allowed" to talk to you" by grandfather? remind her that next time she calls.
you still have healing to do b'fore you are ready for a R. When you get past this and get your $$ life will be on an even keel for you. You will find someone worthy of you and those 2 great sons. Your lite will shine brightly. Is there a chance when stuff gets settled you could move like you wanted to?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
