It is 2am where I am and I'm sat in floods of tears while H sleeps after yet another discussion about ending our M. I can't take anymore and just want to leave as it is just too much to overcome but I have two young children and no job and I'm just completely lost in life. Been here before only now it is worse because I don't even want to fight for it. Just need someone to talk to really so I don't feel like it is all me like my H wants me to think.
Hello, thank you so much for replying. We have been married almost 10 years and have a 5 year old and 2 year old. H left when S was 2 as I had PND and OCD and he couldn't take anymore. He talked to a W he worked with the whole time he was gone (4 months) which I see as an EA but he doesn't. I DB'd then and he decided to come home. Things were great at first and then I found a letter from the W that intimated that they had been physical but he is adamant to this day that she is crazy and it was all talking. I had just found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child when this letter came out. I struggled to accept what his version of events after this letter which seemed to say the complete opposite and so the pregnancy was difficult as I felt very insecure. Things were OK at first when D was born but have been bad for about a year now. We don't do anything togheter, he sits playing ps3 games and ranting at tit and I have found a hobby for myself. He has by his own choice changed to a different dept at work for the last year which has meant he is hardly ever home in the week before the kids go to bed and this has been difficult for me but he's loving the job so is oblivious. We have big talk after big talk and I don't think he loves me, he doesn't evenshow a bit of emotion when I cry about all this. I wish I could leave as he has completely changed but I have no job and nowhere to take the children. Now, after knowing how hard the past year has been on me thanks to hiis extra hours he has anounced he has been offered another post that would mean being away 4 nights a week. This has made me feel like he doesn't care about me or the kids but he says I'm selfish for not being happy for him and that I never let him do anything. On one hand being without him sends me into a panic but on the other I just don't think I can be happy with him ever again and it is clear he resents the restrictions of having a partner. As my title said, I just don't know what to do.
Am I being selfish by not wanting him to work away all week and just be home weekends?? I don't see it as selfish but he says it is.
what an a-hole. Very sorry here. He is the one being selfish, not you. Remember, you are dealing with basically a selfish teenager right now.
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
Thank you so much for your reply Barkley. My head is all over the place as H always blames everything on me and takes no responsibility for his actions and makes me out to be the bad person all the time so it's nice to think someone else thinks it is him being selfish not me.
you bet! The only thing that helps me through sometimes is to look at the spouse as mentally ill. Keep trying
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
