I just wanted to post this for the Newcomers here. I was a newcomer a bit over 3 yrs ago on this site. I had a WAW and like everybody was looking for answers and a quick fix. I lucked out and found this site and purchased Michele's book. In the end I did not save my M but I still consider myself a success. Why ? . I have saved my relationship with my Ex. What I learned over the 1st years has helped me in all my relationships with other people. I am still Married but we have been separated nearly 3 yrs. Will we ever get back together , who knows ? . I doubt it. But we still attend events that involve our children together , have family dinners. My Ex still has keys to this house and hangs out here from time to time. We have not split assets or discussed divorce for a couple of years now.
But what is most important has been the personal growth . I look back on my early threads and see a very different person. I am off the rollercoaster now and am happy. I want to pass this to you guys as there is hope no matter what the future holds. Its hard , if not impossible , to see that from where you are right now but if you take Divorce Busting to heart you will come out a better person at the other end.
I read through your sitch Dave. Wow - you've really put in time!
Clearly, you've rebuilt yourself into a happy person. If you don't mind me asking, when she went back into an affair after what seemed like hope 1.5 yrs ago, why did you stay?
Do you think having your kids around is satisfying enough that sex and holding a woman is something that can be backburnered?
My early threads were erased when Stillme's H went a little wild after she was here visiting me.
I don't think I'd like looking back on my early threads...too many examples of cake eating & time wasted. Time that would have been better spent enjoying my life.
You're absolutely right on the personal growth though, I'm a very different person than I was then, also.
If I had it to do over again, I would embrace the Gucci/Robx method sooner. I believe I would have ended up in the same place, probably, just much sooner. I know I wouldn't recommend my hybrid method to newcomers, although I would recommend always being polite. Neighborly, ya know!
I read through your sitch Dave. Wow - you've really put in time!
Clearly, you've rebuilt yourself into a happy person. If you don't mind me asking, when she went back into an affair after what seemed like hope 1.5 yrs ago, why did you stay?
Do you think having your kids around is satisfying enough that sex and holding a woman is something that can be backburnered?
Good questions , it was almost 3yrs ago that W admitted to an affair and only a few weeks after that she left . Remember at that time I was in full DB mode trying to save my M . The Affairs were only the manifestation of other problems in both our Relationship and some personal issues my W had.
The answer to the second question is no , simple as that. But you do get used to being by yourself , with that you do need to make an effort to have a social life and I date but have tended to stick with women who are independent and not looking for a relationship.
