I think some of the male victims of cheating spouses are still displacing their anger toward various new people (often females) who show up here having heard this line. It's almost like some of them get a disturbing thrill out of rubbing the possibility in.
Quote:
I have said before I wished at the time she was having an affair, because it would make more sense to me if she had been.
Interesting.
I think this is the case for me. My wife has been frantic to find out who the other woman was/is. In her own case, it has nothing to do with anyone else. I don't love her any longer because she's a common a**hole. It's easier for her to invent an imaginary affair than it is to look in the mirror and accept some responsibility for her own lousy behavior.
I'd be very interested in knowing how you turned things around. You're a good man to do so much work, in any case.
M:40 W:40 2 teenagers ILYBNILWY: 09 January 2010 soon to be walking away my situation
"It's becoming more and more clear why your wives left you. You act like my wife and that's why I'm leaving her."
So sad.
Well I guess the first or second or third guy she banged wasn't enough for you to leave. At least my W only had an EA and we're getting along fine with very little resentment and anger.
Seriously, if you're coming on here to vent, then vent. Don't start attacking the people who are listening to you and want to help your sitch.
If you want to leave, then leave. What's the point of arguing YOUR POINT to those on here? Your W had an A more than once you didn't deal with it then and you're not dealing with it now. You think you don't care what your W's actions are now? Well think again. All this attacking is a build up of all the anger and resentment you've had through the years. So you're tired of being a doormat, good for you.
So rather than posting crap why not get off your @$$ and do something positive. Oh I know, you're going to say that you are. Could've fooled me. LOL LOL LOL
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I wanted examples of abusive behavior on this forum and would like to thank you for indulging me so amply. Quoting your original in its entirety for posterity's sake.
Please see below.
Originally Posted By: MrBond
"It's becoming more and more clear why your wives left you. You act like my wife and that's why I'm leaving her."
So sad.
Well I guess the first or second or third guy she banged wasn't enough for you to leave. At least my W only had an EA and we're getting along fine with very little resentment and anger.
Seriously, if you're coming on here to vent, then vent. Don't start attacking the people who are listening to you and want to help your sitch.
If you want to leave, then leave. What's the point of arguing YOUR POINT to those on here? Your W had an A more than once you didn't deal with it then and you're not dealing with it now. You think you don't care what your W's actions are now? Well think again. All this attacking is a build up of all the anger and resentment you've had through the years. So you're tired of being a doormat, good for you.
So rather than posting crap why not get off your @$$ and do something positive. Oh I know, you're going to say that you are. Could've fooled me. LOL LOL LOL
LOLOLOLOLOL is right! Coming from someone who sat with his @$$ glued to a computer on a Sunday, I'd say you need to take your own sage advice and 'gal'.
Peace,
CV_95
M:40 W:40 2 teenagers ILYBNILWY: 09 January 2010 soon to be walking away my situation
"It's becoming more and more clear why your wives left you. You act like my wife and that's why I'm leaving her."
Don't forget this case of abuse.
Actually I had just sent out the post before I went out and spent a lovely day with my W. Things are looking up here. I hope you find some peace in your sitch.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I went out to see Alice in Wonderland 3D with my wife and kids plus then we all went out for supper at BP and she paid so I figure I had a lovely day as well LOL!
The movie was ok too. ;-)
MB it's time to leave this guy alone, he's angry and hurting and it doesn't matter what we say, he'll find fault in everything everyone else says & does that he doesn't agree with.
Just for the record, my wife used this script on me, and she was not having an affair. No going out alone, no emails, she's not on facebook, she does not text, and I had records to her phone. I have said before I wished at the time she was having an affair, because it would make more sense to me if she had been.
We are over 1 year past that awful night now and doing great. I think he is just saying to be careful with blanket assumptions.
Burt
Burt, this I believe is the same sitch as mine.
But common sense will tell you that the stats really are around 90% if you take the time to actually read postings here. And that is not counting the affairs that were never brought to light. I do not understand why Crushed can not see this.
And robx and others do NOT use it as a blanket statment. They give disclaimers. As much as they help people here it is a shame that they have to defend their voluntary service here.
If somebody cant see whats right in front of them then IMHO we cant help them. And there is no need to.
I feel bad for Crushed because it is obviouse he is in pain. I guess we can agree to disagree but the numbers here do not lie. And when going through the pain of a divorce I want to know what the numbers are honestly. People come here for advice and not for sugarcoating to make them feel better. They want to deal with the problem realistically because they are hurting and want to do the right thing.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
You haven't even got the terms correct in your situation...
You are the betrayed spouse, not the walk away spouse.
Glad to see you finally taking a tough stance now. Doesn't matter if you have someone else or not. What matters is that you are now giving your WAW a dose of her own medicine. I believe that one of the reasons she thinks you have another woman is because she knows that she has done the same thing to you when she told you she didn't love you. She is only projecting what she was thinking. If that wasn't the case, she would be more likely to think the reason you wanted out were more along the same reasons she wanted out. If she didn't have another man when she wanted out, then she wouldn't be instantly defaulting to you having another woman now that you do want out.
I'm going to dedicate at least the next TWO YEARS solely to my kids and am not interested in any sort of intimacy or relationship with ANYONE. I consider my prime directive at this moment to be fatherhood. All women (gay dudes too) are welcome to take a number. I'll be with y'all *real soon now*.
two years is not really "real soon" and you may find it will be a greater turn off than selling point to both members of the opposite sex or the gay men that you wish to attract.
men and women alike a sexual creatures. if you forego sex and intimacy for an extended period of time like that, the "Kate Winslet's" of the world may be apprehensive to get involved. they may not understand what your intentions were. you will carry an aura of sexlessness; the chemicals associated with attraction, testosterone, pheromones etc, will have been inactive and supressed and will need to be jump started. your technique will suffer. how would you exercise your jaw muscles otherwise?
getting out of a sexual slump is not always the easiest thing to do for men. observe some friday night the men that leave the bar alone. its been a long drought for many of them. then observe the men surrounded by a group of girls. girls hanging from their neck, girls dancing around them, squatting and singing "Come here rude boy, boy, can you get it up? Come here rude boy, boy, is you big enough? Take it, take it, baby, baby Take it, take it, ..." if you want to know the truth, it was their friend who told her how great in bed he is.
Kick your wife to the curb; keep her because its cheaper. not sure if it matters. but i would hate to see you do something as drastic as self-imposed celibacy because of a bad decision to marry the wrong person.
I agree, numbers don't lie, the amount of affairs are incredible. I often think that maybe my w had picked someone else out, then she could get started dreaming about how great it will be when she could do everything right (D first) then go after her prey. That way the fantasy could get started without any PA. An emotional affair without contact if you will.
Believe me, I am on the side of the big guns here, and get frustrated as anyone that those that come here do not heed their advice, or do so waaaay too late.
