Well Irmac.....don't think I've ever responded to you but you actually saved me today....I was just about to get on the internet and look up my H's name to see if I could see anything on him....I didn't and I won't...it's true, it does only hurt us..I did that in the beginning...all it did was make me crazy and hurt more...not worth it...
My H actually told me in the beginning that, well....his OW went back to school in her 30's and got her education degree, and is now a science teacher...wwwhhhoopppiieee...I just chose to marry him and have his children, and take care of everyone while he goes out to work "late" for years and then decides he doesnt want to be married to me anymore because, "I am what he always thought I was"...as he was looking me in the eye with those cruel eyes....
But....I told him I didnt care what she did or was...she will NEVER compare to me....I did see a pic of her not too long ago...she was a friend of ours from years ago...funny how they return...she was a piece of crap then, now she is dog dooooo on my shoe.....and her pic was awful....she used to be pretty, not no mo......inside or out.....
Anyhow thanks for saving me some pain for the day....
T
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Yes she was aloso our friend I actually babysat her child when she was only 17 yr. they worked together at a convenience store...I dont think he specifically set out looking for her... after his mom's death he was looking for an affair.....as he had had an affair with her 15 yrs ago for 2 yrs.... he bought a Harley and on one of his outings he saw her.and as he put it to me...ALL THE OLD FEELINGS ALL CAME BACK....pppphhhhaaatttt!!!
Mine had an affair 10 years ago....I had no idea....the girl got pregnant...had the child and they kept it a secret for 9 years until someone told me...I was devastated and so were my children, they still are...all this came out after the bomb....I took this girl places in my car AFTER she had the child....he said he hadnt been happy for 10 years...imagine that...that's when he found out she was pregnant...he had to carry that around for 9 years.....he said it was like a weight lifted off his chest when I found out...Im glad it relieved him...just killed the rest of us but we all know, IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM....
I've come to the conclusion I will never know why...I just have to put it behind me and move forward..my hope is that someday he realizes how bad he hurt us and can admit it but again, we all know that rarely happens...he is who he is...I don't wish him harm...maybe a couple of wrestless nights but no harm...he was my life...and nothing or no one can change the fact that we had 30 years together...and they were good...flaws yes, but overall good...I'm learning something everyday...and as long as I'm learning I'm moving in the right direction.... Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Has he filed for divorce??....and have you stopped having hope for his return one day??? I sometimes want a divorce in order to get child support but then again I want to wait it out.....to tough it out till the end, I guess ...I am not saying I am staying home waiting for the phone to ring.I can and do make it on my own, butI miss not having what we used to have, extra money for little things..but the man he ahs become she can have...he is now a very lazy... plays games online all day, he doesn't work anymore.....how can a woman want a man like that...We had the best of them.....now they have lying, cheatin boyfriends...they are so pathetic..at least we are their wives...not just the woman who takes up with a married man.....I would not want to support any man......on the contrary I would want them to provide for me and my child.Go figure how they think.....
My H contacted me last june wanting to move forward with the next steps towards divorce...i'm sure the bug in his ear was pushing him along...but I told him I would not go to mediation..I need to protect myself and my children....I got books about divorce went and talked to an attorney who I will use if pushed....she was wonderful...I felt so much better after I left...Haven't heard anymore on the subject...my guess is he will file in June when our middle daughter turns 18, that way he only pays for 1.....dirty yes but we'll see...
My H does take care of us...he gives me his paycheck as it is direct deposited...in my opinion it is cheaper for him to stay married to me...I would get lifetime alimony as long as I don't marry....he works every day...but we don't really hear from him...he is in withdraw....totally withdrawn from us..weird kind of withdraw...but then he texts me on Christmas to tell me Merry Christmas and to tell my mom and dad hello? i didn't get that but blew it off....
he stays with his girlfriend most of the time I believe...he uses his sister's address...and pays nothing to either one...now I would do that for about a month then pay up....it's all their loss....they don't realize how great they had it....
I don't even like my H right now...she can have him....
Last edited by Treese; 01/06/1001:40 AM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I'm so glad that you received so many 'right on' answers to your post. I hope you always remember what they've told you and explain to you. They're lifesavers.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
I think of you often, and pray for things to be good for you. Take care of YOU! Teresa (TOH)
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
