Feeling desperate

[Steve McQueen]

So do you have anything to say about sending an anonymous letter to her. I am just lost.

write out exactly what you are thinking of sending to her. It might help us to understand where your mind is with this right now.

[Lotus]

thank you, Trent. We have needed a reminder.

[Super Girl]

Trent, I absolutely think she should preserve her marriage, but I think she needs to preserve her self respect first. She is stewing over whether her H will go away for the weekend with an OW.

She is better than that.

[Drew]

Nicely said, Trent.

DB'ing is about fixing yourself, so the marriage has a chance to succeed. If the marriage doesn't ....... at least you're a better person from the process.

[TrentC]

Trent, I absolutely think she should preserve her marriage, but I think she needs to preserve her self respect first.

What if it is possible to preserve the former now by sacrificing a little of the latter?

[Lotus]

I can say this. My marriage is 1000X better as a result of the trouble we went through and the work we did to repair it than it was before. It is by trial that we become strong. I really no longer have hard feelings about my H's affair. We were unhappy and he acted out. I really do forgive it because the crisis forced us to learn to be better. I am proud of who we are.

[lea74]

The more you try to push her away the more she will try to stay - she is not going to listen to an annonymous email and will probably guess it is from you. You need to look like the attractive option to him. You have no control over the situation so dont let it control you - I know how you feel been down this road. Try not to spend too much time and energy on this - spend it on yourself. It does sound like he is trying to be open and honest - maybe give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps if you dont say anything he will decide not to go. I am not an expert in this area - just know that I am ranting and asking didnt help - only made my H want to go even more.

[Super Girl]

I don't doubt it for a minute, Lotus. Everyone who reconciles should feel that way. Otherwise, they'll be right back here.

Trent, I don't think she should get a divorce. Far from it.

[lshurb]

Thank you lotus and Steve McQ. I am here because I want my marriage to work, I do not want a divorce. I need to make myself stronger and work on myself in order to deal with this crisis, no matter what the outcome.

[Super Girl]

None of us want a D. Nor do we want you to D. We want you to succeed.

Start by saying...I am strong and confident. If you want to send a letter, do it from a position of power. Use your own email.