I've looked and I've looked and I can't figure out if this qualifies as being in the piecing stage.
* My wife has said that she wants to work things out. * She still sleeps in the spare bedroom, but occasionally one of us will join the other. * Physical affection is exchanged, but guarded. There has been no lovemaking for about 3 months. * We do go out and do things together, as well as do things around the house (both fun and housework-related). * There as been no joint MC as of yet, but that's because of money issues going into the holidays.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
It definitely counts as piecing. I encourage you to start interviewing solutions-based MCs right now so once the money issues are taken care of you can get right into MC.
Honestly, if H and I hadn't been in MC together, I don't think we would have made it. She helped us navigate all the issues that led us to our breakdown, and she helped us hear each others' perspectives. H and I stayed in MC for about 2 years, a good year-plus going weekly.
Be on guard not to slip back into old habits. Piecing is tough work, and it never ends. DBing is for life.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
My wife has said that she wants to work things out.
Do you (singular)?
And are you (plural)?
Yes and yes.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
It definitely counts as piecing. I encourage you to start interviewing solutions-based MCs right now so once the money issues are taken care of you can get right into MC.
Is there a good place to find out about if an MC is solutions-based? I have been looking on here:
and gotten a few names, but I don't remember anything about whether or not they take a solution-based approach.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Sorry to hijack here - does it count if H says he is willing to go to MC "to see if we can work it out?" That's not a definitive yet on his part, but an open door? He hasn't given a complete "no way no how" so....and we live separately but he's here 3-4 nights per week, we sleep separately...
