Hey John, how's that golf thing in the middle of winter? Is there golf for the Wii? Just curious.
Anyway, I have perhaps a slightly different take on giving ourselves the same way to a new person as to a previous love. I can only speak for myself, but my next relationship will not get the same as my XW and it's not because I'm holding back, it's because I'm a different person. My XW got the externally validated, needy, clingy, deathly afraid of being alone Dan. The next relationship will get the internally validated, self-assured and willing to walk away Dan. Before, I put up with things I would in no way put up with today. It's not better or worse, just different.
and this old buddy is why I say stick around..just chill...
I have not heard you say that she says she wants more or does not like the way things are now..I see you say that you "feel" she wants more..
I guess I wonder if you have really talked to her about it??
It's hard to read a woman's mind..
no Mars vs. Venus for me......
it's free will brother.....
just don't get in your own way John...us guys let our minds work over time instead of just letting go..you'll be good either with or without..so why sweat it??
You are right Mike...why sweat the small stuff...and it is all small stuff. I think I actually leafed through that book a while ago.
Golf up here is a 7 month affair...that is why I get in a funk from mid November to mid April. i bought the Tiger Woods Wii game jsut prior to Thanksgiving day....
Not sure I was needy before but I know I am not today. Different? I guess I am in some ways. How can we not be after the events in our lives?
After further review, the play on the field stands.....I may be able to articulate what I think may be missing. I am a pretty even keel guy...never too up never too down....sure I am expressive and maybe a little in your face or loud at times but in general pretty even keel. Well in the past, I have been attracted to women who are exhuberant or UP if you will. Well NGF is more like me...actually even more balanced....it is nothing major....just gets some getting used to. Maybe I am bored a little at times.
D9 and I spent some time in a bookstore this weekend (her idea not mine). I picked up the 5 love languages. Just got through the first language (words of affirmation). There is a lot more in there than I originally thought. Words of affirmation for alot of circumsatnces, including recovering from cheating and deciding to forgive etc. I think I will pass on the book to NGF so that we can learn to communicate better. We tend to purchase these books in moments of crisis. Since we are working on nine months of dating, the book may help us get closer. XW has been texting, calling and e-mailing more lately. All of it initiated by her. It somehow puts me in a funk or a mood (not a severe one) that I need to combat. I do combat it rather effortlessly....I must be almost cured.
Need to get that book again. I had it and gave it to my cousin who got married. One of the few translated in Greek although the translation was a bit poor IMO. Maybe I need to give it to H. It was pretty easy from what I recall... K
Have not posted in a while...something M from Tenn wrote on BBJs thread sparked this.
My XW also has some regrets...I also sense it. I sense it in her e-mails, phone calls that start out about D9 but always end elsewhere...
But...if it is something, it is too little too late...when D9 is around, I make an effort to be mor ethan cordial. I think that is the most important thing for children of divorced parents. I can not say that enough.
On the NGF front, things have settled down. We are planning a few days away together as suggested by a greek friend.
I still feel the fingernail across the chalkboard response to the idea of talking with the former spouse. Then again, we're never in the same room or anyplace at the same time.
I want to thank you again for directing me toward 'getting past your past'. It's been a great help.
I agree John...I agree 100%..Kim and I have never had words around Caleigh and to be quite honest it's been months since we had harsh words at all..
I guess the thing that bothers me most now is that Caleigh has started to ask if I'll come to her B-day parties or if I'll come by Kim's house to visit..I try to explain why I can't...but.....Caleigh will be 4 in March...going on 30..
