Here's my story..midlife crisis/infidelity

[January girl]

your homework is to post here what your plans area. How about hike on Saturday afternoon, followed by dinner and a movie with a friend, then a yoga class on Sunday morning?

Ok, so I did something maybe a little bit crazy....I called an old friend from college (who I dated at one point) and gave him a brief rundown of the fact that I NEED to go out and could he and I go out. He immediately said yes, where and when. We are going out to dinner tommorow night. I arranged a babysitter for both kids and I'm going out. I haven't been so excited about doing something in a long time. How's that for GAL ing???

Also, I saw him back in September when a few friends of mine from college got together for the evening. My H went to the get together for a few minutes. Anyway at the time this guy mentioned to me that I looked incredible. ME...married for 17 years with two kids lady.

I have to get on with living or I'm going to go crazy. Friends what are your thoughts on this???

[January girl]

Friends...what are your thoughts on this??

[flowmom]

JG, I say go ahead if you can just enjoy the friendship and attention. Anything more probably wouldn't be very helpful for you right now.

I don't know about you, but getting negative or no feedback from the man in my life for years has really worn me down. Yes, it's good to love oneself and feel good about oneself, but we don't live in a vacuum...a lot of how we see ourselves has to do with what others mirror back to us.

[January girl]

I had a great time with my old friend....he was very polite and fun to be with AND we saw a band play that was great.

Here's my issue today...I'm really ticked off at my H because I now remember what it was like going out, having fun AND having someone pay attention to me and what I had to say.

Flow was right in her post above--we don't live in a vacuum.

I know many folks go on and on for years waiting but I know I CANNOT sit around just hoping upon hope that he is going to come around....the funny thing about GAL is that at some point you really do want to get on with your life.



More of my thoughts on Monday.
JG

[luvless]

love this ^

[January girl]

So the long and the short of my feelings are this...
I'm really sad/pissed that my H has walked away from
what I know was great between us-when it was great..
if that makes any sense at all. After going out this
weekend I remember how wonderful things used to be between
H & I.

Something funny happened on V-day. He stopped by to drop
off S1 and bring over the printer for my D9's science project
which...uggg...thank God THAT is over and done with.

Anyway, I was all cleaned up...(looking pretty if I do say so myself) and he just kept on staring at me. I asked him "Why he was acting like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs?" because he has been acting very nervous and jumpy...it's weird. He said "No reason." Then I started kidding around with him when he left because I gave him a hug goodbye and he acted like a robot so I teased him about it....he started laughing. Then he was STILL staring at me so I said "what, were you going to kiss me too?" just to be funny and he mumbled no but was looking at me like he had never seen me before. IT IS ALL SO STRANGE.

I think he has finally decided we are done for good. I don't
know but I think I maybe think that too. In my heart I just know that he is never coming back....which is so very sad because I DO love him with all my heart.

I know that I HAVE to go on...see friends...work on me...and probably start dating.

Please give me your thoughts friends.

[flowmom]

Definitely GAL...there's no down side to that. I think that hugging=pursuing in your sitch, so that's a no-no.

It sounds like you're indulging in mind-reading, and that gets us into trouble. If there's hope for your M, you'll probably have to be patient. He just moved out 11 days ago and a lot of his energy will be adjusting to a new home and the separation. However he feels right now isn't that relevant, because a lot of water will flow under the bridge in the next few months.

[Awoken]

I think he has finally decided we are done for good. I don't know but I think I maybe think that too. In my heart I just know that he is never coming back....which is so very sad because I DO love him with all my heart.

Don't be surprised if you bounce back and forth on this.

That last sentence really got to me...((((JG))))

I agree with flowmom. The situation you describe sounds like pursing to me too. I think if you ARE moving on, then you should be just a little too busy for these interactions with H, and mysteriously so.