I'm so glad to see that things seem to be on the upswing for you. Regarding the funeral, I would say it's good to be supportive, but have some healthy boundaries. Meaning, I wouldn't see a problem with sitting beside him at the funeral where there are other people around. If he takes your hand for comfort, that would be OK too. What might be "too much" and send the wrong message would be if you initiated touch, or if he used the sitch as reason to spend time alone with you.....you are not his crutch, ya know?
Anyway, that's my two cents worth....
Take care.
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
Yeah SC I see what you are saying. I kinda feel like he wants me to be his crutch at this point, and that scares me. Just like og has been his crutch this whole time. I keep telling him he needs to focus on him and work on himself, and he keeps saying he is.
Well, it was another fun filled family day at the soccer tournament today. I really am unsure what is going on here. Exh was there, polite as ever, playing with the kids and having a good time. We took them to lunch, and took his car since he was close and I was way out in the second parking lot. He handed me they keys to drive, just like old times (I hate his driving and would always drive.)
So, we took the kids to mcdonalds (of course), ate, talked, and it was fine. His dad showed up there cuz he was coming to watch the second tourney game, and we all talked and watched the kids play. His dad was ragging on me acting silly and exh told him not to make me mad cuz we have gotten along for two weeks now... We all got a laugh out of that. It sounded really funny. He loaned me the Shinedown c/d that he had in his car that I liked so I can put it on my computer. We will be out there all day tomorrow too.
He sent me this long text tonight about how this was the best day that he's had in almost a year and how it felt so good to spend the day like a "family" (his words), and how much he misses us. Said he knows he's told me a million times how sorry he is (which he has but didn't make any real changes) and that he loves me and hopes that I can see that he really means it someday.
I'm just kinda sitting here watching this. I'm not quite sure how he can act so "normal" all of the sudden.... It really baffles me. I mean, I have not doubted that he has, in his own mind, in his own messed up way, "loved" me all this time. I guess I'm just gonna sit and watch this play out. I don't want anybody getting hurt anymore, me or him or the kids. Add this to the "who the hell knows" file.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I will try and arrange a time and a place for everyone to meet. I still haven't heard back from fightin4mywife and john2911 yet. But I know that FaithfulH is in and it sounds like IRMAC is in. FaithfulH is out of town Halloween weekend. I have a halloween party to go to Friday and my kids with me saturday night for trick or treating. So maybe either we can all meet one night during the week or a following weekend.
As far as your sitch goes, I haven't had time to read up on it, but it is one of the things I plan on doing so I can have a better idea of what everyone is dealing with.
Just off of your latest post without knowing the history, I'd say that it is a positive regarding your H. I wish my W would say the same thing and want family time together.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Omg! You know what SC??? I have thought that a few times lately...... hmmmmmmm........ I know he saw that book a long time ago when I was reading it, like a year ago. Interesting........
YOU KNOW WHAT?? He even said to me last night on the phone... I know that I (talking about him) will do what I have planned and go on and live my life and be happy (he's going back to finish college, etc.), but I will not feel complete without you and the kids. But if you move on and are happier without me, then I will always love you and keep improving myself. CLASSIC DB!!!
My sitch just gets stranger and stranger.... would I be the first one to get divorced and then the mlc'er starts DBing me????? Why does my whole life have to be so strange? LOL
Last edited by SoCo; 10/25/0901:25 PM.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Haha! Yeah t, you probably did! And THIS morning I froze my as* of with the icy cold wind! LOL
Well, we won the tourney! First place! Go uhhhh S9! LOL Pics are on the alt.
I'm not one of those fanatical proud moms or anything, but I got so many compliments on our keeper today (s9), it just might go to my head eventually... hahaha. Hope all are having a good weekend.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
