That's great Ron D and Thank you dday...What seems to get me by is that because of our s, my Ex and I end up with a lot of times we have to see each other (as you guys know) and even though we're not dating, I look forward to those times and have a reason to dress nicer, ect.. In the back of my mind, there's the "to him this stuff might not mean anything for us, just something to do with doing what's best for our s", but it might lead to a better R if that happens. So I go on, one day at a time. I've been building great relationships with a couple of girlfriends (they're both M), but all 3 of us are avid gym members and have fun together when we do go out.
By the way, my Ex asked if I wanted to go to the friends house we went to on Halloween for Thanksgiving because we had all been invited, so that's on : ) And..we have mutual friends (the birthday party we went to a couple months back), who invited us to their house for a Christmas party and my Ex already accepted : )
Sounds to me like things are going well for you, that's just awesome! Be patient and let him have the time he needs, keep doing just what you're doing. And always have faith that it'll work.
An update on me: My ex spent the weekend, we had a great time, and SHE brought up the subject of getting married again. I told her I want her to be sure it is what she wants and that we can keep taking things slow if she thinks that is best, that WHEN I propose to her again I want to do it right and have a lifelong relationship. She agreed that for now we will just take things as they come and deal with getting married WHEN we get to the right time.
My divorce ain't completely busted yet but almost there; she upped the timetable and is moving home this Thursday!
Ron
M: 47 W: 50 D: 19 S: 16 Grandson: 21 months (now officially our son) Married: 10/2/89 Divorced: 7/31/09 XW moved back home 11/12 Re-married 5/25/10
That's great RonD! I'm so happy for you! I wish my situation would move a little quicker.. but he's not that kind of guy, I know at least that much about his personality. My birthday is Saturday and he surprised me and told me he made reservations at my favorite restaurant for us and the kids! I definitely didn't expect that! A card maybe, but not out to eat, I was really happy and I didn't think it'd be bad to let him know that, so I did. I wonder if he's still thinking he's not giving me mixed messages....
I can't express how happy I am for you! I read through your earlier posts on this thread and the progress in your relationship is great to see. Have a happy birthday!
PS - My ex-wife is back home!
Ron
M: 47 W: 50 D: 19 S: 16 Grandson: 21 months (now officially our son) Married: 10/2/89 Divorced: 7/31/09 XW moved back home 11/12 Re-married 5/25/10
Thank you Dday and RonD for the Birthday WIshes!! It will be a great birthday especially now that I'll be with my whole family! I couldn't have had the patience (as some of you know, thats not my strong point)without this site and all of you...Thanks so much
And, to Mar1713, keep up the good work. I wish my XW showed some interest... It's only been a month since the D, so it's still pretty early to expect anything. It feels like I'm not trying to DB so hard anymore, yet I still catch myself doing it.
Time will tell...
Last edited by 1853dave; 11/15/0905:18 PM.
Me: 46 W: 46 M: 9.5 yrs D4, D9 D filed by her 11/3/08 Agrees to try rec at mediation 1/28/09 Says she still wants D in counseling 3/25/09 W and I back in DB counseling (!) 8/20/09 3rd Bomb 9/2/09
Keep the faith, Dave. My sitch shows that anything can happen; right now my XW is in the living room waiting for me to watch our grandson so she can check her e-mail. And with some of the issues I have that is nothing short of remarkable! We've become much more affectionate lately; not TOO intimate yet but slowly working that way and it's a nice and necessary part of this process.
And Mar, it brings me so much hapinness to see your progress!
Keep the faith, both of you!
Ron
M: 47 W: 50 D: 19 S: 16 Grandson: 21 months (now officially our son) Married: 10/2/89 Divorced: 7/31/09 XW moved back home 11/12 Re-married 5/25/10
Hey RonD, It's nice to hear your progress too...My birthday dinner was great. My Ex came to my place and we had a glass of wine here before we went. He drove and we were at the restaurant from 8pm - 11. It was so nice having the family altogether! I hadn't seen my 19yr old for weeks, so that was great too! My Ex told the waitress it was my Bday so she brought a very yummy chocolaty sinfully delicious slice of cake...(well what a restaurant considers a slice, we all shared it!) ..Anyway, at the end of the night, my Ex carried our now sleeping son into bed and I walked him to the door, and I told him it was very nice of him (somehow he misunderstood and thought I was talking about how nice our s was?) So I corrected him and said No, I meant what he did for my bday and I initiated a hug. What I got in return was the one-armed, your a buddy type hug.....the same hug our counselor ( in the past) said he should give his sister, so she gets the correct message of distance). This to me is very frustrating. The other thing is that when we were together, he liked my cooking, and I LOVE to cook, especially for people that like it! And at dinner we kind of got on that topic as a group,(my daughter's trying to cook for her bf and isn't doing so well, lol, they were joking about it) and I made reference that he used to like my cooking and I could teach her and I turned to him and said, you liked it right? His reply was "it was ok". Ugh, this type of thing frustrates me. You know, he came to my house he looked really good, did nice things and then at the same time, dismisses little things that he knows are important to me? I don't get it...
It will be a great birthday especially now that I'll be with my whole family! I couldn't have had the patience (as some of you know, thats not my strong point)without this site and all of you...Thanks so much