I appreciate your advice Michelle. It's been hard to come by out here! LOL. LL has sent a crew to remove rubbish from basement but the contractor said I must first pay him $2,000 of the money I owe LL before he starts. I refused, I'm withholding rent pending remediation of several health, fire, & bldg code violations. LL left a threatening message today saying she'll make the next move. I beat her to that, assuming her next move is eviction. I called the city and filed 9 complaints against her with 3 different city offices. Well something actually works in this crazy city, she's already heard from the city about repairing the problems. She's left a very threatening voice mails that it's her turn to have "fun". whatever that means. I feel very vulnerable and miserable. Have a couple apts to see later this week. This is pretty insane. If I end up in court at least I can show the judge that she wants me evicted rather than fix my legitimate complaints. I'm not afraid if she follows the course of legal actions. But I'm very worried that she will do something horrible outside the law. I'm living alone with my daughter and I feel very uncomfortable. I have heard that LL can not legally charge rent for an illegal apt. and that I could sue her to be reimbursed for all rent money paid. I dont' know if that's true. Having a hard time deciphering the complex housing laws. If that is true, I could get back nearly 1/4 mil!!! And someone (not legal advice) said she'd owe 3x that amount to me as penalty. Seems too good to be true, but worth looking into. Meanwhile, I'm off to an environmental disease MD to verify my exposure to toxic mold. In case this ends up in court. Once I'm out of here, I think I will begin to recover so I need to prove I'm sick while I'm still here.
Now...... Why is it i'm on this board again? I've totally forgotten about him. This isn't what anyone means by GAL, I'm pretty sure. Sufficient distraction anyway.
Thx again Michelle. I can't believe my luck in finding a fellow DBer with a history in housing court! Too bad you didn't do your stint in NY! But yes, I've done lab tests, photos, certified mail, and now bldg dept complaints. What fun. I could use the luck house hunting. Maybe I'll find it this week...
LL has sent a crew to remove rubbish from basement but the contractor said I must first pay him $2,000 of the money I owe LL before he starts. I refused, I'm withholding rent pending remediation of several health, fire, & bldg code violations.
Good for you!
Originally Posted By: rinserepeat
I'm not afraid if she follows the course of legal actions. But I'm very worried that she will do something horrible outside the law. I'm living alone with my daughter and I feel very uncomfortable.
Save those voicemails! You'll need them if you want to get a restraining order if things escalate.
Originally Posted By: rinserepeat
I have heard that LL can not legally charge rent for an illegal apt. and that I could sue her to be reimbursed for all rent money paid. ... And someone (not legal advice) said she'd owe 3x that amount to me as penalty. Seems too good to be true, but worth looking into.
In CA, there are 3X penalties on things like bounced checks and illegal contracts. Not sure if that is a contract theory - rent agreement was invalid therefore reimbursement plus penalties.
Wish I had advice for you but don't know much about the renting part. Sorry that this is what you are dealing with but it sounds as if you are up to the fight.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks for the link. I can get free legal LL/tenant legal advice if I go downtown. I'm sure it's some form of he##, but I'm going to try to go tomorrow. To protect myself I am going to video my belongings and keep tape at work. Tomorrow I'm going to have a locksmith over to install a good lock to the downstairs door. The upstairs door is an illegal dwelling entrance hollow core door with no lock so adding a lock will not really make it safe. I thought about installing a metal door, but opted for a free idea - I'm going to move a heavy bookshelf in front of door and then just use the downstairs entrance. That will make me feel a little safer. My older dog is a punk and my german shepherd is a puppy so her guarding instincts aren't active yet. I thoght I may text LL that she should give me a head's up if workers come for repairs because I have an aggressive rottweiller in the apartment. Just in case she's thinking of sending some roughnecks over. I may be going too far, I am losing my cool. Wish I really did have an aggressive rotti or pit in here! What would make me feel the most secure is having my BF in the house. He came and went all throughout the day and he's pretty tough. I wouldn't be having these worries if he were around. But for some reason, this is my lonely battle. I'm sending my daughter home to Mn. for a wk to see family. We were supposed to go together, but I have to stay behind and continue the house hunting. She's doing great in spite of all the stress in the house. She thinks it's exciting and she keeps telling me things happen for a reason. (That's my girl!) But I'm really glad she can go have some fun away from this pressure and my nerves. I do feel better when she's home cuz I feel it keeps the house safer if someone's here and she can call if anything goes on. I'll be losing my sentinal. But she is in the line of fire here if anything weird does happen, so of course I ultimately will be relieved that she's out of the picture. Maybe I should start taking the train to work and leave my car parked outside with the tv on. I am getting paranoid, but I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that LL will send the henchmen in. Also considered either going to police to document the threats, which may keep her at bay. Or.. offer an olive branch, like I'm only trying to help her fix her bldg and want to cooperate fully blah blah blah.
Wish I could spend 10 minutes in Mark's safe embrace. I think it would really calm me down. And some stress relieving sex would be quite welcome about now too. But that is just floating thoughts since I'm in nc. Did you ever wonder if you think about your ex hard enough that the thoughts or feelings somehow reach them and they'll think of you too? Meanwhile, as I'm trying to teleport some emotion to him, he's probably out shooting pool & having beers & laughs with his buds. Big sigh.
Be careful if you go to the court's self-help clinic. It is NOT legal advice. They do not represent you.
If your landlord walked in behind you and got in line and talked to the same attorney you just spoke to, they'd help her and tell her what papers she needs to file to fight you.
That's why if you can find pro bono (meaning free) attorney services it is so much better.
Of course, any and all of them can tell you more about NY housing law than I can lol.
Good luck!!!!!
I would call the police and have them listen to the voicemails so there is a paper trail. Always better to cover your a$$.
I used to miss being held SO much. It gets easier. At least ya got the animals to pet and cuddle!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I used to miss being held SO much. It gets easier. At least ya got the animals to pet and cuddle!
Does? I see you registered in late 07. Is that when your H left? I hadn't really noticed that until now. I had seen your sig and thought your H split just this April. If that's the case, and mine's out from late Feb, then I am behind the game here.
LL is livid. She sent me an email yesterday telling me to get out cuz now I've caused too many problems and headaches. She said she's lost respect for me. Bizarre. Today one of the electric circuits started shooting sparks. I am leaving it off, so now there's no lights in kitchen, daughter's room, no elec outlet in my room. Hope LL has paid her insurance, and hope I can get out of here in one piece.
January 2005 STBXH deployed to Iraq. January 2006, he got home showing symptoms of PTSD. Febraury 2007 he starts acting strange. June 2007 he starts a PA which I quickly discover and also discover he has been e-mailing with people on the casual encounters side of Craig's List since February 2007. We S on July 27, 2007. STBXH and OW break up and get back together a few times. In about March 2008 he tells me maybe we can date. In June 2008 he has gotten back together with her and I get dumped again. At which time I agreed to the D. He dragged his feet about filing until this April though. I'm not contesting, so it'll finalize October 24th. He's finally attending C for his PTSD. I heard from SIL he might be doing AA for his alcoholism as well. As far as I know he's still with the psychotic OW (and I do mean that literally, as in cuts on herself with razor blades, co-dependent, totally crazy).
Yeah, calling the inspectors I'm sure caused problems. Shock, surprise. Maybe she should fix the crap. Lovely how she's blaming you for her problems! Sheesh, whatever happened to personal responsibility. What did she think was going to happen when she illegally and badly converted that place for renters?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Jut stopping by to say hello. Your apartment conditions sound bad- I'm so glad you're getting good advice from Michelle. Isn't she great? ( Michelle!)
Your comment about trying to transmit emotion to people struck a chord. Ages and ages ago, I went camping with my BF and a couple of other friends. The first evening I turned in early but he went out with his friend, but halfway through the night I thought I heard him right outside the tent speaking to a woman and telling her about me with love. The next morning I told him about my dream and he was really freaked out because it turned out he'd been in a bar 3km away but had had the exact conversation I described with a woman he met there.
I like to think that he was transmitting his love for me out and it managed to find me and wake me up. He was so hot!
I enjoyed your story OD. Has to be some line between people who care about ea. other. I used to see BF a few times a wk on the road. That went on for about 4 months. He was always driving past someplace I was or I'd suddenly notice my car was behind his. It was pretty weird. It hasn't happened at all for 2 months. Whatever that means. I do need to contact him to come get his stuff. The house is in ok shape. Could be better, but I've started keeping the get rid of boxes in the dining room so they're not all over. I sold some furntiture and threw a lot away. It actually looks pretty good. Now I hesitate to call cuz I know there is a chance it's the last time I'll see him. I haven't had a chance to begin my personal transformation so I don't know what he'd see as a hugely new me. I've been so consumed with the apartment situation that I haven't had time to make the changes that are on my goals list. When I met BF I was DBing my a@@ off because of my split with exh. I was running every other day, doing a yoga practice 2x wk, meditating every morning & making offerings to buddha. I was reading books, studying french, practicing tango, traveling & going out a lot. Business was doing great & I worked a 4 day wk so I had my house in great shape and I was cooking. That was all 180's for me after my H left. Shortly after meeting BF I was in a car accident and the injuries prevented me from running & yoga. My business suffered a serious of setbacks - I missed 6 months of work, had an employee walkout (my best staff all left to open 3 blocks away), my lease ran out and rent went to 8K, I moved store location which involved a gut out reno which cost a fortune, immediately followed by the economy belly flip. My savings is gone. I've really been struggling. I worked 7 days a wk for 2 years.. Even now I work 6 days 10-12 hours a day. One day off is scarcely enough to keep up on bkpng let alone house work and cooking. My life was in totally different shape when I met BF than it is now. I must have looked like the perfect woman. (Well except that I was hung up on my ex for a long time.) Although my situation is understandable, it isn't going to help turn BF around from his resolved cours. BF was coming out of a 9 month recovery from a terrible work accident when we met and he had lost his business and his equipment. He'd left his house to his ex & son and was living with his brother. He worked very hard to build back his life. I saw him go from flat broke with no work into someone with a very successful business. He had told me he'd have a million by the end of this summer and I bet he does. When we met, I was the successful one who was doing so many interesting things and he was a really nice but broke guy with lots of time on his hands. Now the table has turned. Hes going gangbusters and I'm just scrapping by. I intended to revive my 180's, but then the apartment situation got out of hand and I've spent every day off looking for an apartment since early June. I have no time for taking care of myself in ways on my goal list. Waa waa. What a baby I sound like.So call him & he'll come get his stuff & see me just like I was, only worse? Not good. If I can't get myself on a better routine yet. I'll have to fake it til I make it. How to appear like a happy person who's doing all these wonderful things when I'm stressed to the max?
My goals are to go back to what I was doing that made me happy & must have attracted BF. The 180's I was practicing: Meditation - Although it may help, I can't even imagine doing that right now with my nervous busy mind. It would be extremely difficult to do that practice from where I am right now mentally. I want to wait at least until I sign a lease or more likely until I move. Running - Can't run with my puppy until she's done growing and her hips are cleared as safe. The time I would have to do that, I'm in the dog park excersiing her. She can't do high impact for at least 6 more months. Cooking - Need a different work schedule b 4 this will happen. Just planning meals & shopping is too much for me to keep up with, never mind the clean up. Too easy to pick up a menu. We have every meal delivered. Reading - I can't focus on the words on a page with my brain spinning about my living situation Travel - too broke & can't leave work. Going out - it's too expensive for me to night life right now. And I have no energy for it. Tango, French, Travel, etc. all cost money I don't have right now. Yoga - can't do since accident. Injury in neck flares up if I bend forward
Conclusion is, I need some 180's that don't require time & money. Hmm. Here's what I've done: 1. Focus clearly on business & steer it back onto course. I am doing a lot in this area, esp. since BF left. I launched the product co, I do a promotional event 1x month which involves press & live music, I have launced a FB presence, run promos, hired new staff, expanded services. I also am little by little getting the store more finished & funking it up. I have done 2 art exhibits in the store since BF left. That's clearly where most of my money & time & creative energy is going. I think this is the right place since I am working my butt off to make it successful again. BF would be impressed with all I've done with the business, even if I haven't seen it make a difference yet. But he won't see it. He built the store for me, sacrificing nearly 4 months of his life to do it. But he never finished it. I had waited for him to do finishing bits here and there. Now that he's walked out - I'm taking charge and doing it myself. I've installed new gates, painted, varnished, got a new desk, brought in w/d, etc. It looks done to anyone who didn't know the original plan - but I'm slowly moving along to completion. 2. Having fun with Daughter & dogs. We're having a lot of laughs and spending more time together. We have gotten really into dog training & exercise. Our dogs can do tons of cool tricks. Our dogs btw, are so cute and fun. We've taught them so much this summer. Everyone is so amazed when we show off the cute things they can do. And their obedience work is impressive too. BF doesn't like animals and won't be impressed with this change. It's just fun for me & daughter. 3. Stopped tv habit. I have no time or energy to watch it anymore. I am down to maybe an hour a wk. BF & I got into a habit of watching for hours together every eve. 4. Attending free concerts & spening time with friends. I have done stuff like this. Don't have much schedule for stuff like this, but I'm squeezing as much is as possible. BF was always amazed & happy about the activity ideas I always came up with. He tends to stick to a routine & my ideas were always fun adventures for us & our kids. He would have loved our day yesterday. After looking at 4 apts, we drove upstate to a park and let the dogs have a swim. We hiked and relaxed. They played grease outside at the park, so we sat out under the stars to watch this silly classic. The grass, the stars, the lake are all welcome change from city life. We got back really late, but it was fun. 5. Going thru years of accumulated stuff and clutter in closets. It's purging to move, & it feels great. I condensed 20 boxes of storage down to 6. I'm throwing away loads of stuff. BF would be impressed over this project, but it's hard to see if you don't live here. The result in progress is a mess, worse not better.
Done with this thinking for now. I have to call him soon cuz his stuff in basement is in the way of my uncluttering!
At least ya got the animals to pet and cuddle!