I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[InPassing]

Hey, sounds like you have a great coach already. you're very lucky!

[1853dave]

Yes, she is great, and has been very supportive. She can really read things differently than I can at times - especially with my head spinning from all of the confusion, she is the stable outsider looking in, offering sound advice.

Still worried about the upcoming weeks. I try not to think about it much, but how can I help it. I told myself earlier today to not worry about things, as they might (probably will) be better for me than I think. I guess it is just the unknown...

My W still hasn't tasted reality, though... I'm hoping that mediation will be the thing that opens her eyes, and shocks her back. She still thinks she's going to keep the condo somehow. The only way I could give it to her is to quitclaim it over to her - and with her terrible financial history, that place will foreclose in a matter of months. I can't risk my financial wellbeing (and that of the children) on her "promise" that she can do it.

She has no money. None. Her only income is from me. If the D goes through, she'll be getting a lot less than she's getting now. I suspect the court will tell her to get a job - quit school if necessary, but get a job to support yourself and the children. She can't go on and NOT get a job for income. Her Mom, bless her heart, has no pot of gold; there are no rich uncles, there's no other resource that she can tap into. She would have nowhere else to live unless a friend will put her up for a bit.

It's too bad. She LOVES going to school, with the hope that she'll land a nursing job as an LPN after she graduates next May. How she'll survive between now and then is beyond me. That, and LPNs I understand don't exactly rake in the dough, certainly not one just starting out.

Of course, my door is open, and if she wants to work on the marriage, I'd be glad to give her plenty of space, and time, but we'd have to be living together in order to do it. That would solve a lot of problems, and I believe, in my heart, that with more contact time, she'd see how things have changed between us, and how much better the new relationship will be...

Well, as usual, I'm just trying to keep it cool for now...