I finally heard the dreaded words.......I AM NEVER COMING BACK TO YOU.....that hurt soooo much....In my mind I always had hope that he didnt hate me soooo much....He is a constant liar...could care less about his daughter....he hurt her last wednesday by actually inviting the O/W and her daughter to have dinner with him and our daughter...in his mind I guess our daughter would just accept her as his new girlfriend....he was so wrong...it all ended up on the side of the street with him yelling at her to get on the bike...she yelled at him "go back to your new family...he said to her "they are not my new family...your are still my family..... she was picked by my sister .... he never called her again the rest of the week....hasn't called her to check on her or nothing....this man who lived for his daughter now wants everyone to accept his girlfriend.....she came to destroy and take my husband 14 yrs, ago and she came back but... this time she took him....maybe they both deserve each other..... God help us all...
I finally heard the dreaded words.......I AM NEVER COMING BACK TO YOU...He is a constant liar.
Irma, I know you are hurting, and I feel for you. However...pay attention to what you just wrote. I only took out a couple of sentences in between.
MLC = liar. Remember, most of what they say is so much gobbledegook. Didn't your teenagers ever say "I hate you!" or some other obviously over-the-top rhetoric? MLCer's are like teenagers, in some ways. Try not to put too much stock in this.
Breathe, pray, rest.
Peace and blessings, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
IRMAC MLC is a long and very bumpy ride for some it never ends. You have to stop focussing on what he has said. You need to be there for your daughter as it will be a difficult journey for her. Maybe you can find a way to mend things between her and her father. Then you need to take care of you. Let your h twist in the wind as you get on with your life.
Every prodigal that has ever returned to his/her marriage has uttered those words when they left. The things that I have heard from prodigals are unbelievable! They say ugly, hurtful things, and you must develop a thicker skin. The things that are happening to you are from a script that they ALL use! Bearing that in mind, distance yourself from his high drama. It will only make you crazy.
David
The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself! - Shulamith
Each and every poster has voiced my own thoughts on your situation. They are like those toddlers that are teething and are mean and hateful because they are miserable. Think about it, when you set the boundaries for children, in a fit of temper they say I hate you, I don't love you, they tell you they are leaving/running away and never coming back. It's the script. I know it hurts, but we all have heard it. Let him go off and stew a bit.
Things will eventually get a little better between your child and him, but it's definitely going to be a while. While waiting on him to simmer down, plan things w/your child.
I'm very sorry he's being a bit of an @ss right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It has been a very rough week...thank you all for posting to me...before in the past ...I would call for child support or she was going to be in school activity we would talk...he sounded like a child??? Like a kid who is just hyper and wont stop talking.....and boy can they lie...he told my brother in law about the incident with our daughter....my BIL asked him how my daughter had found out she was coming along....he told him "she must of overheard me".....now my daughter is 13 but she is not stupid and this is not how it happened.....I really believe MLC'ers are in some sort of a mental illness.... I again I thank you all....be blessed
IRMAC my xh said this almost anytime he got mad at me, it sort of started to become comical...the first couple times he said this I was conveinced that he meant it. THEN one time he got mad at me and said "and I'll tell you another thing, now I will never be back, like he had never meant it the last time. After that time I tried to just listen. They will say anything that they think will hurt you. My xh NEVER EVER called me a (word that rhymes with "witch"). In fact, he would try to fight someone if they called me that. One time he got so mad at me he looked at me and finally said it, he knew that would send me over the top. It was like a little child doing something on purpose that they were not supposed to do, right in front of you. Please dont give what he says any thought. They can be very cruel. We dont know if our h, xh, will ever be back, but still most of what they say, they do it to hurt us. I am also sorry that your daughter had to go through that. The first time my son met the new gf, he felt very uncomfortable and came home and hugged me and said he would never leave me. It's really said what the children have to go through no matter how old they are.
IRMAC my xh said this almost anytime he got mad at me, it sort of started to become comical...the first couple times he said this I was conveinced that he meant it. THEN one time he got mad at me and said "and I'll tell you another thing, now I will never be back, like he had never meant it the last time. After that time I tried to just listen. They will say anything that they think will hurt you. My xh NEVER EVER called me a (word that rhymes with "witch"). In fact, he would try to fight someone if they called me that. One time he got so mad at me he looked and me and said finally said it, he knew that would send me over the top. It was like a little child doing something on purpose that they were not supposed to do, right in front of you. Please dont give what he says any thought. They can be very cruel. I am also sorry that your daughter had to go through that. The first time my son met the new gf, he felt very uncomfortable and came home and hugged me and said he would never leave me. It's really said what the children have to go through no matter how old they are.
Thanks,Renee.I hope and pray that one day you and I will look back at this time in our lives and wonder what the heck we were doing to ourselves... Noone should go thru this...I think this hurts worse than losing them to death....at least if that had of happened there would not be the feeling of betrayal...our self esteems... of not trying to compete with the O/W...feeling used .I know my husband used me.....he left me here in Texas with all his tools,cars,etc.And then after he picked all these things up, he picked her up on his way back to Georgia, all the while I was thinking we were going to make a new start in a new state...anyways I feel this way...like I said one day you and I and all those in here will look back and just be in a better place...with or without our husbands... Sometimes I think God took him there because he knew I couldn't handle this journey if he stayed here with her.It would have ended very badly....and my daughter would of been the victim in all this...I am just going to let God deal with him and her.... I hope you are doing better I read your posts all the time and I know you will be ok....
