I'm working very hard at being better. I'm not saying that the depression is beat, because it certainly isn't. The negative self-talk continues en force but I'm working on it with the help of a great C and prayer.
You said you're going to go see a C when you get back from vaca right? The same one as before?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Yes the same one. She knows where I was, she knows him and listened to his lies. She immediately caught on on what I feel. She said if he goes back for 'help" this time she will refer him to someone else...
Glad to hear she won't be speaking to him any more. I'm sure she's not happy about being lied to either. What good is therapy if you're not being honest? Good grief!
Like I said, trying very hard to be better. Today felt a little strange. I worked all day but my lunch is 1 hour long so I have time to come home and have a sandwich sitting on my couch instead of sitting in the breakroom at the store on a hard plastic chair. Marc had told me yesterday that Gabe had said he would come over today to help him mow the lawn. I didn't know what time he was planning on coming but guess who showed up shortly after I came home...yipee. It threw me because I try to never see him if I can help it. He was just hovering while he waited for Marc to get dressed and outside to work on the lawn. It never feels right having him inside my house.
On another note, Marc has reconnected with a boy he knew in elementary school. They went to different middle schools but are now in high school together. They used to argue a lot but they have both grown quite a bit and are now getting along pretty well. He had called Marc this afternoon to ask if he wanted to come hang out with him while his sister was having a birthday party. She had gotten one of those huge inflatable obstacle courses in the front yard. They spent all afternoon out there running through that thing and I spent the afternoon talking to his mom. She and I used to chat while they played soccer together. She knew Gabe and I as a couple (as did her H)and just can't understand what Gabe has become. Her H is a L and his family owns a bail bonding company so her H had quite a bit of contact with Gabe while he was working at the jail and then in the PD. His only words to me about it were, "Gabe just isn't the man I knew is he?"
So, all in all a strange afternoon but good to reconnect with people I used to know and watch my son have fun getting together with a good friend.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Glad your son has found a friend to reconnect with. That is good news!
Yeah, a lot of people on the outside are shocked to find our spouses aren't who they thought they were....well guess what people, we were pretty surprised too!
Mishka, I'm posting the answer to your question on your thread. The movie titled "Adam" opened in limited release on July 29, 2009 in the US. If you go to this website (www.foxsearchlight.com/adam/) I think you should be able to find the information you want, including multiple movie reviews and the location of a movie theater near you that is showing the film. It won an award at the Sundance Film Festival. Hope this helps.
Thanks GAG! I looked it up and watched the trailer. It looks like a really good movie. Sadly, the nearest theater to me showing it is over 40 miles away. That's a little too far to drive for a movie. I'll have to wait until it comes out on DVD.
I've felt myself slipping today but have been able to catch myself so far. My next counseling session is Tuesday and I'm already getting nervous about it.
I work every night this week after my full-time job all day. This is going to SUCK! I tried to give away a couple of my shifts but no takers. They are all overscheduled too. The college students we work with all went back to school so we all ended up with their hours.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
How are you "catching" yourself? Glad to see you post here - that is one way!
Ask yourself why you are nervous - what are your imagined outcomes of going to your IC?
And UGH at the work thing - although, getting that paycheck will certainly be a nice bonus! How are you going to reward yourself after that kind of week?
Marc had told me yesterday that Gabe had said he would come over today to help him mow the lawn. I didn't know what time he was planning on coming but guess who showed up shortly after I came home...yipee. 
It threw me because I try to never see him if I can help it. He was just hovering while he waited for Marc to get dressed and outside to work on the lawn. It never feels right having him inside my house.