Father Alone

[mlb1976]

Man im feeling the blues today. I dont know what else to say, cant put my finger on it. guess ill ride this out and hopefully ill cheer up tomorrow, or even better later today!

mlb

[mlb1976]

Well its been a couple days so i guess ill journal a little.


I didnt have any significant contact with my W/Ex whatever. So I gave her my weekly phone call to let her talk to the baby she didnt answer but called me back later. She was crying and upset because the baby wasnt there. She didnt ask me really but hinted that I should bring her home. I didnt give her any type of answer.

She was making up this story about how i said that we didnt need her and to just leave us alone, that i said all these horrible things to her. Which honestly i did not. I dont get it, she never calls, or asks for the little one, but thinks im going to just hand her back over after 6 months?

I mean my daughters well being is concern #1. She was such a mess when i picked her up the last time. We had potty training licked, which now i had to start all over. She was filthy, living on chicken nuggets and chips, running around in a diaper hair all wild.

Im afraid, because i feel that the court system is pitched towards children being with the mother, I just need to ride this out for another 30 days or so and the little one is a legal resident of another state.

It kills me because i really never wanted things to go this way, Ive lost contact with my stepkids who i love like my own, Wifey has turned into a pathalogical liar and a few other choice words i dare not say here, Im struggling to get a life and i need to come up with the jack for a plane ticket for my oldest daughter in about 30 days.

At least my youngest is very well taken care of, I cant imagine not having her. I want to be a parent and raise my child. She just wants to win, if that makes any sense.

I was supposed to grow up and be rich and happy lol


anyhow, hope you are all doing well. Keep your heads up and god
bless.

MLB

[Travis]

mlb,
keep your head up. i read your posts, 2 pages back is all, and you sound like you're miserable, man. The lady is gone and that little girl is what you have. You are doing great and you need to take advantage of every last second with her.
I hate to sound blunt, but, when the woman is gone, all you are going to have staring up at you is the eyes of that little one. Most of us men don't get as much time with our children as it seems you do. Don't waste it, man. Make the most of it and enjoy the special time you have and make that bond stronger. That little one will be there with you through the thick and the thin. Don't think you can say that about the mother.
Count the blessings you have, not the ones you don't.
Make the fathers like me that automatically have to wait for the court system to make their judgement proud. You go out and make every day with that little one the best it can be.



Best wishes in your sitch

[Travis]

mlb,
keep your head up. i read your posts, 2 pages back is all, and you sound like you're miserable, man. The lady is gone and that little girl is what you have. You are doing great and you need to take advantage of every last second with her.
I hate to sound blunt, but, when the woman is gone, all you are going to have staring up at you is the eyes of that little one. Most of us men don't get as much time with our children as it seems you do. Don't waste it, man. Make the most of it and enjoy the special time you have and make that bond stronger. That little one will be there with you through the thick and the thin. Don't think you can say that about the mother.
Count the blessings you have, not the ones you don't.
Make the fathers like me that automatically have to wait for the court system to make their judgement proud. You go out and make every day with that little one the best it can be.



Best wishes in your sitch

[mlb1976]

Thanks Travis,

I am at times miserable, but I am definatly happy that i have so much time with my little one. I have an older daughter that i havent seen in a year, and i have to wait on the court system for that one to get resolved too. So i definatly feel your pain as well.

Im stuck somewhere in the middle when it comes to my Wife. somedays i want things to work out. Other days i could care less, one thing is certain is that its always present in my mind.

I think blunt is a good thing, a good slap in the face is sometimes what a person needs man. I guess i sound miserable because i usually get on here and write when im feeling down. The rest of the time im pretty content, I like coloring, I like cartoons, i like playing with toys & reading, and i love going to the park to push that swing for an hour lol.

Thanks for your concern Travis, I appreciate the fact that people take notice of my strife and try to help guide me through it.

God bless and good luck with your sitch. Ill check out your posts asap, im heading to a bbq, have a good one.

MLB

[antlers]

Hey man!

I just wanted to share something with you. It's something that Coach told me about 'dropping the rope'. It's helping me, and I hope that it helps you.


"Imagine pulling with all your might on a rope tied to a elephant's leg that doesn't want to move. Tension on the rope, the elephant's getting torqued, and you are wasting all your energy and getting no results. The elephant just ain't moving. So why keep pulling on the rope?
The goal is to get the elephant to move. Release all the tension between you and the elephant. Catch your breathe and try something different. The elephant is not going to move just because you are trying with all your strength, want it to and would love it to. The elephant moves when it wants to. Drop the rope. Do something for yourself and see if the elephant gets interested enough to check it out. Be a elephant whisperer :D!
You do what is healthy and productive for you."


This stuff that we're dealing with SUCKS for sure. But this is where we're at right now. Good luck to you.

[mlb1976]

Elephant whisperer lol I like that. Thanks Antlers, and thank your coach that is great advice.

god bless
MLB

[PortlandDad]

That would be The One and Only Coach on these boards! Something he told me about compassion in my thread a long time ago is starting to ring so true to me right now!

[mlb1976]

Well, We dont even talk anymore. I send pictures via text message, and call then pass the phone to my Daughter. Ive been more or less trying to vent my personal feelings here. Im pretty frustrated but at the same time im relieved. things are going Well for the little one and I. We are flying to New Hampshire in a few weeks to get her older sister. I cant wait havent seen that squirrel in a year!

Good to hear from you PD, hope all is well.

god bless

MLB

[mlb1976]

Well guys, I want to thank you for all the support that you have given to me. When i first found this site i was in a very dark sad place, I was alone, hopeless, and severely depressed.

My hopes were to save my marriage and pull my family back together, but it seems that option has closed, I have moved forward in a way. I still love and miss my wife very much, i miss my stepkids, my house, everything about my old life. However, im at a point now where there is no going back for me. My daughter is without the main priority in life, the fact that none of her family ever tries to contact her in anyway disgusts me, I see the people I love for what they really are now.

You DB'ers are a different strain of people, you love the way that people should love, unconditionaly, You have chosen your partners and you arent giving up on them without a fight. If they could see for just a second the love and effort that takes, how could they refuse such a love?

You all keep on keeping on, and i pray that you get the outcome that you want.

Thank you for teaching me how to live again, and helping me find my inner strength once more. Instead of dreading tomorrow, i look forward to it. No more looking back going Why, im looking ahead saying why not?

Im fortunate, i get a clean slate, i get to build my life the way i want it and i get to raise my beautiful, intelligent and amazingly funny daughter.


Anyway im always a little longwinded, I doubt that i will be posting too much about myself anymore, but i will still pop in and give updates from time to time.

Thanks PD and all you who followed me and posted, and Thanks Dr Weiner-Davis for providing this resource. Im on my feet again!

Mike.