Life in the Rough - A Liar's Game?

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, {{{Hope!}}}

So, are your a "bodice ripper" fan too? I've been addicted since my teens. That's one thing I hate about my sitch, that since the bomb of finding out about my H's PA with the OW, I can't even escape into a good sappy book like I have always done. If I read a love scene, I get mental visions of H with OW! And, I get so mad at myself for letting her have that power over me and my life!!

And try not to worry about the little "back-slides" in making comments to your H about it. He has already told you that he is willing to make amends and help you get past it. And it seems to me, the only way to do that is to get those feelings out so they don't fester inside you. Your H will only earn your trust back by going through the "mine field" of your emotions and helping you make it to the other side. So, it really is a necessary part of the process of healing that you let those toxic feelings out and for him to take it and step up to the plate. That's the only way you can reach forgiveness for him, or he for himself!

Of course, this is all only MHO.

[1hope]

Thanks SC, your words make me feel better.

I have to ration myself on the bodice rippers, lol. Even before the OW I found that the "perfectness" of the love scenes always made me dissatisified with my real life, giggle.

Have you read any of the Twilight series? BG and I think Kel turned me on to them a couple of weeks ago. They are great, and yet innocent enough that I am not seeing shades of H and OW. I read the first one in about 1 sitting when H was out of town.
I too can lose myself in a book and it is a welcome escape sometimes.

Sounds like you need a good book, a bottle of wine and some expensive chocolate!

[Silent Chrleader]

No, I haven't read any of the Twilight series. I'll have to check those out.

My dad once told me I shouldn't read those books because they gave me unrealistic expectations. At the time, my H told my dad to shut up because he (H) got to "reap the benefits" . In my counseling since this all started, I have found that they didn't give me unrealistic expectations of H so much as they gave me unrealistic expectations of myself! In those books the women are always beautiful, give their whole lives to their mate, never have to clean house, are perfect instinctual mothers......hard to live up to.

[Babygirl]

hey girlie, stopping in to check on you. we are all gonna be ok, no matter what, well, hmmmmm kel may not be, if we all keep having crisis's lol.

[1hope]

Good to hear from you sweetheart. I've been worried. I'm sending lots of love and warm hugs to you.

Do you have any plans for the weekend?

[Babygirl]

my only plans are BREATHiNG. kel is so wise, and after the email I just sent h, we shall see, whether I breathe alone this weekend, or we breathe as the team, i know we can be, I am scared to death of what is gonna happen when he reads it. oh well, it was beautiful, and cleansing. I put it all out there, sometime I will share it with ya'll.

[Neilh23]

hiya Hope.....how's things in your world? I'm doing something different with my sitch....pop in and tell me what ya think. I'm gettin lots of comments.....miss hearing yours :-(

stay strong girlie....

[MT35]

Hey Hope and SC, I was like you with the romance novels, but for me I thought daytime soaps were the way love was supposed to be, not the cheating and backstabbing part....but the swept of your feet, my man is so romantic, rose petals and gangsters! LMAO! Hope you all are having a great Friday!

[1hope]

Morning all,

Having coffee and planning my day. Last night was another one of tears and venting. I was deleting files on my computer at work and found lots of the OW, several of her and H that I TOOK at her surprise 40th birthday party. They were snuggled up and looking so fondly at each other....ech!!!!

I guess this is a grieving process, and each time I let a little more out. He was not as patient with me this time. Oh well. I guess I just have to suck it up now and pretend that all is fine. It's hard for me, I am usually right out there on my sleeve.

Time to make some changes and put on my strong face.

Hope everyone has a great day. Will check in on you all when I can. Love you all.

[MT35]

Morning Hope, I know that this will all take time for you, for all of us. I am sure your H feels that he told you it is all out, so now you two should just move on. Sorry that won't happen near as fast as your H wants you too. Take care of yourself and hope you have a nice day.