Thanks for your love and encouragement this morning girls. BG, you are up early today. MT, the drive in was not too bad. Much better than it was going home last night. I think we got about 5 inches of snow. It looks like Christmas around here already. Kel, thanks for the wisdom. As I was experiencing the pain last night I realized that the confession did not heal all as I had hoped. I guess that was really why I was feeling so bad.
He and I did talk a bit this morning. Basically I told him that I didn't care if he went to the bar, but that I did want us to communicate things. He agreed.
I also asked him what happened to the support that he was going to give me? Just because this had happened last Feb. and he has had all of that time to process what he did, I just learned about it a few days ago and it is very new to me. He seemed to understand that.
IDK. I still feel anxious and like throwing up. I am wearing my rubberband. But I still want to slap her face.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Was waiting for you. Check out the astro on my thread for the day if you haven't.
Of course you do want to slap her face. She so crossed the line. So shred her. you are in an office with a copier and a shredder. copy her picture and put it through the maching a bunch of times. I know you probably can't really do that as it is sort of unprofessional, but it won't get you arrested. LOL
Keep talking as he will let you. And listen. You have to take the leap and see where it goes whether you like it or not if you wnat to remain in the M. You know that. I don't have to tell you. You know exactly what will work to repair this M for you and what won't. And you know what you can live with and what you can't. You know if you stay, you have to trust him, you can't be the warden. Sorry. But you know it is true. Otherwise what kind of M will it be? But you'll get to it as time passes. I have faith in that.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
Thanks Kel. Good ideas. I can shred her at home. And I will. That has a lot more class than the nasty cards, letters and phone calls I keep dreaming of sending.
I also need to get this out....
Last January my H and I helped her H (at his request) plan a surprise 40th birthday party for her. This is the thank you that my H and I got from her:
Wow, where to ever begin & how to express how much I appreciate all that the two of you did to help with making my birthday an incredible experience. Saying thank you just does not seem like enough. You two have become very important to me & I can't tell you how much I valure your friendship. Hope, you are an amazing person who just awes me with your poise & grace. The positive attitude & strength you have displayed this past year was & is inspiring. You are a beautiful & classy person Hope & I am so glad that we have become friends. Thank you again to the two of you for everything and more important for just being yourselves, because that is what makes you special. Love Suzy.
Three weeks later she was f'ing my H.
I just don't understand how she can live with herself.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
omg hope that makes me wanna puke for you!! honey i am right with you, i am so sick.
oh i wish i could do more than shred all our OW!!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
ok Hope, shred her and say whatever it is you need to. Yell, scream it at the top or your lungs. Make a hundred copies if you need to then when you are done, throw it all in the fire. Let it go. Focusing on her makes it easier not to be angry with H but he is the one you have to be mad at too. I know you have been. God I wish I had been this wise years ago. Nothing nasty to her in RL, you know that just makes you no better than her. But do it. Soon before you explode and say something you might regret.
As for the thank you, i'm glad you got it out. So she is a liar. You knew that already. Keep yelling at us until you get it all out. Still waiting for MT to do it. She is so calm. So nice. She will get there too. Or maybe she idd that before she came here, i don't know. Have a good day and smile.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
I know. I know. They destroyed something that was sacred to me. It makes me sick. He did htings with her that he promised only to do with me. I hate them both. I just want to run and scream and never stop.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Hope, I can't imagine how she can live with herself. She is lower than pond skum.....she is the skum that was in SD's bathtub last week, the nastiest, smelliest, and gross excuse of a human being that you once called a friend. I am not sure how she can live with herself and her lack of values.
Kel, I love the shredding thing, that is so fun! I think I would like to shred something something else too.
Kel- I don't know that I am that nice, although my real life friends tell me I am. I have my moments, usually after drinking! SD last night said she can't believe I have lasted this long with her Dad. We also talked about me not making trouble. She said you and my mom are so different, I said well I don't always confront like I should! But Yeah, I am different than your Mom, you know that one.
Hope I say, You should yell and scream and break and toss anything you please!
Well you can't run. So do the rest. We are here and you know it and I know you never thought you would have to face this again. But here you are. I am really sorry for that, for you. So stop being miss calm rational pleasant Hope and let it all out. And don't be sorry about the gun breaking either. Sometimes you just have to do it.
and then when it is all done, you can go back to the calm rational hope that you need to be. Crap I have to get dressed for work soon. Oh well, home later putting up Christmas tree.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
I just want this pain to be over. I don't want any of my family to be hurt, so i feel like I have to keep this secret inside of me, but it is so horrible.
I just want to run away. If it wouldn't cause more damage I would just go to my S's house and not go home for a few days.
Sometimes I feel like it is going to be ok, but after I am away from him for a while I feel like everything is building up inside of me.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
